The Pleated Burgundy Skirt

By DragonMage

Notes: Inspired by the Semi-sweet picture...*falls over and dies laughing* This is just silly. I don't do these much so...Goldmund can assure you on that. *laughs* Oy...New experiences!

"What is this?"

"It's called a wig. You put it on your head like this--"

*whap*

"Itai..."

"I know what it is and I know how to put it on, but I don't see a point to have it. Will you *please* explain *why* I have to wear a wig??"

"Well, put it this way, you're not exactly feminine to begin with and that short hair is doing nothing for this disguise. The only way for us to even have a small hope of pulling this off is to have you wear a wig, get up in the most girliest clothing seen on this side of the universe and not talk. I think the latter is easier than the formers, ne? Since, after all, you don't talk that much to begin with."

"Hn!"

"See? You're following the plan already. The only thing missing is the 'looking like a girl' part." Sigh. "Who knew it'd be *this* hard. I mean...sure, you got the wrong legs--too muscular--and you're too built but I *thought* we could hide it with some skirts and loose blouses..."

"Not working, obviously."

Sarcastically. "You're so chatty today."

Glaring. "Shut. Up."

Fiegn hurt and shock. "What? What did I do?"

"You're not the one with nylon stockings bunching around down there. Do you know how it feels to have something tightening around *there* for *this* long without feeling like a bitch?"

Wicked smirk. "Honestly, you've had more tighter things around there. You've never complained before." Pauses as his other half glares threateningly at him before letting out a small laugh. "Besides, they were the only ones that fit and Sally swore she couldn't find the ones that only go up to your calves."

"I don't think she looked hard enough."

"Oh hush. Just be glad we're not braiding little braids in your hair with pink ribbons and barrettes."

"If you did that, you'd be dead."

"You're being very rude."

"So?"

"And funny, I don't think it's the discomfort down in your nether regions. They *do* say clothes make the man...Or woman in your case."

"Say one more thing about this and no more sex for a month."

Pouts. "That's not nice, Heero. Just because I make a few remarks here and a few remarks there, doesn't mean you can deprive me of something that's so very essential in my daily life."

"Tough."

Sighs in defeat. "I hate you."

"Funny. I heard differently last night while you were screaming to be taken harder."

Laughs. "What else do you expect me to say?" Leans in close. "I like it when you take me like that. I was just merely screaming a fact."

"You're such a slut."

"And currently, you're a tease. It's hard to keep my hands off you while the only things stopping me from getting to you is some see-through nylon and silk panties underneath a *very* accessible skirt."

"I'm keeping my legs crossed."

Smiles and kneels down. "You know that does nothing to stop me..."

"You always have to have your way, don't you?"

"And you like it when I take control."

"Not when you're being a bra--Hey! Do *not* go there!" Pushes a slim hand away. "We can't do this *now*. There's a mission in half an hour."

"There's so many things that can get done in half an hour you know..."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"Because what?? Aw, come on...It won't hurt..."

"I am not going to have another one of the guys walk in while we're doing this. Remember last time? Quatre couldn't stop blushing and stuttering around us for a whole week!"

"Quatre needs to get out more. He really shouldn't be all blushing-virgin about these things. He *is* sleeping with Treize Khushrenada. You'd *think* that man would have taught him something by now..."

"You know, I keep forgetting to ask him about Khushrenada. I don't think it's right to have him sleeping with someone who's practically the reason why we're in a war."

"Leave them alone, Heero. He's happy with him and vice versa from what *I've* seen."

"I thought I'd never hear you say something like that about *Khushrenada*."

"Normally, no. But since he's making a friend of mine happy, I'll leave him be." Snorts. "Seriously, do you think I'd still blow a gasket or two over Khushrenada *now*?"

"And what is the reason for this sudden calm?"

"Eer..."

"Well??"

Asked nervously. "Other than the fact that he's a good fuck?" Cringes and waits for a blow to fall.

Utter silence.

"You didn't..."

"It was way before I met up with you and the rest of them!"

"When?!"

"Aah..." Swallows nervously and looks away. "When I went to challenge him again a few weeks later and somehow found my way into his bed." Winces. "You're not angry, are you? This *was* before I'd joined up with any of you, so don't make the punishment *too* harsh."

"You...you...How could you??"

"Well, other than the fact that he's extremely gorgeous, I don't know!" Huffs and pauses. Then looks afraid as he glances up at his lover. "What if I said I was utterly drunk when that happened?"

"It's not gonna save you."

Looks desperately at the clock. "Isn't your mission in less than half an hour?"

"Oh no, don't think you can get away from this..."

"Come on, Heero! Don't tell me you didn't sleep with anyone else aside from me. I can tell you screwed--or get screwed--by *someone* before you starting fucking me every other night."

Looks slightly less hostile and a bit more sheepish. Just a bit. "And what if I chalked it up to natural skill?"

Rolls eyes and smirks. "Oh come *on*! After what you've done to me? I honestly can't accept that as the truth. I certainly never knew you could do that with that spicy oil and twine?" [1]

Blushes. "So?"

"So, you can't yell at me for sleeping with other people because you've done it as well. I guess I can warrant you *some* yelling because I was sleeping with Khushrenada but so is Quatre!"

"I never get *anywhere* with you."

"That's a lie. You've gotten to many places with me." Smug look.

"I meant verbally, *not* physically."

"Oh, but physically is so fun!" Leans in closer and presses cheek to a slightly bared thigh as the skirt rides up higher. "Come on, we can get it done in minutes! We both know how sensitive you are..."

Attention diverted from Khushrenada subject. "I don't know..."

Tug.

"Ah!"

Clothing pushed aside.

Huskily. "Too late." Head ducks under uplifted skirt.

"I do not--Ah, oh gods...yesss...I mean...ooooh..."

Moans.

Soft wet sounds.

"Ugh...oh shit...oh shit...oh fuck...Ngh..." Presses deeper into the warm mouth. "Aaah..."

Pulls away slightly. Muffled whispering underneath the skirt. "Hush. We don't want anyone coming in. This safe house has no locks..."

"A sad thing, isn't it? Ah, gods, I'm getting cold down there..."

Smirks. "Not any longer."

"Dear god!"

"No shouting!" Nips gently.

"Oh! Ouch...oh..."

"Hush, Heero. Or I'll bite."

Strangled voice. "That's not the first time."

Wet sucking noise.

"Aaaaah!! Oh my god..." Panting heavily with soft gasping noises.

"Mmm...You always did taste so good..."

"Ah, don't stop. If you stop, I'll kill you..."

"Famous last words..."

"What are you---" Screams and curses fill the air.

Slowly pulls out from underneath the skirt after giving a thorough tongue bathing to clean away at the sticky cum. Smug smile. "How did that feel?"

Looks exhausted yet very satiated. "Wonderful." Pulls the other closer. "That was absolutely wonderful. Oh gods... What about you?"

"I'll be fine." Soft kisses.

"Do you suppose the others heard us?"

"Thin walls. What do you think?"

Laughs. "You have some...cum on your cheek."

"Really? Where?"

"Here." Rubs it away.

"Ah, thank you." Smiles and takes the cum smeared fingers into his mouth. Sucks gently until it's clean and then pulls away. "Mmm..."

Huskily. "Good?"

Purrs. "Very good. You know I just love eating you up..."

"Ah, of course."

Timid knock at the door.

"Uh, Heero? It's almost time to go. I thought I'd just...ah, warn you so you can, um, finish up in there..." Pauses. "Yeah. See you at the front door." Hurried footsteps down the short hallway.

"They heard us."

Laughs. "You mean, they heard *you*. I wasn't the one screaming 'oh my god' over and over as he came." Smiles and stands up. Reaches down and helps pull up the underwear and nylons. Smoothes down the skirt and lingers around the area between the legs. "I like this skirt. It's so...convenient. Don't you think so?"

"Yes. Now I better get going. I'll come back in a few days." Kisses on the cheek and lips.

"And maybe we can play longer, ne? I'm going to love ripping those nylons off your legs."

"I know you will."

Smiles wickedly and purrs. "Wonderful..."

~*~

A week later...

Quatre finds a pleated burgundy skirt in the dirty laundry as he loads the washing machine. He frowns and wonders whom it could have belonged to. After all, they were all guys...Unless someone was keeping a rather big secret from everyone else. He picks up the skirt and holds it out, arms length away from his body. That was when he notices the dry white-ish stain in the front of the skirt. Turning a deep magenta, he stuffs the skirt into the washing machine and slams the door closed. He turns the machine on and flees from the laundry room.

~*Owari The Pleated Burgundy Skirt*~

And that's that. It's just a silly little piece, that's all. *grins* I hope everyone enjoyed it!

[1] Eh-heh...Got that idea from a very good fic who's name I can't remember right now...*sweatdrop* It was a 13x5.

Started and Finished: September 4, 2001