If Only

                                               
Chapter 2

School�. Just think about it, some people see it as a social gathering, others
see it as a pathway to a future, as for me, well it was hell�yeah everyone hated
it to some sort of degree, but for me I just hated ever single bit of it.  I had
no friends, let alone no one would even talk to me.  I sure don't believe that
being the invisible man was only in science fiction�

I kept staring at the cold desolate environment through the window. That was my
world, just emptiness, no one seemed to care that I was really dying, my will to
live was lost and no one could ever bring it back, sometimes trying to fight
myself was just a losing battle.

"Chad, pay attention" my math instructor politely said, god, you see what I mean
by no one caring, for all I know this teacher was caring about the pay from our
tax dollars, and he was doing a pretty bad job to add also. Suddenly catching
some of the student's jumping to their feet from their little daydreams except
for me, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" my teacher yelled, just as soon he finished saying that our secretary
came in with a boy carrying along a backpack, a new student I thought. He had
black hair with a hint of brown under the light; he had pale green eyes with a
nice honey brown colored skin. I guess he's Italian or something, he was about
my height around 5'11 if you want to know all the little details, by the way he
was dressed he was a skater just as I finished looking at him. I turned to look
at the same area through the window.

"Class this is Matt" our secretary announced, some of the classmates gave the
usual greeting if there was a new student.  I assumed he just waved back or
something because he didn't make any sound, As the secretary left for our
instructor to assign him a seat.

"Matt you can sit beside Chad" the teacher ordered him, soon after he sat down
next to me, the seats where in 8 rows in three columns with two desks in each
section. Great, whenever I try to ignore someone there always there in my face,
luckily he didn't say anything to rub it in.
**

The day was almost done, it was my last period, which was drama, and again Matt
was in this class also, but this is the second class and hopefully only the
second class he is in with me. From what I observed, he seemed to get plenty of
attention especially from the girls, to take a second look he was somewhat cute.
Chad what are you thinking?  The chances of him of not being a homosexual are
pretty big by the way he talking to the girls and with that I sunk into a mild
depression.

"I will never love someone "

**
" Snow�what a comforting substance, gentle, yet so cold as a independent human
heart"

"Fire, hot�cannot be controlled like a soul"

"What is this I'm feeling, a feeling so strange� makes me want to cry"

"Is this loneliness?"

"Faces so many together�except me"

"Where am I, Who am I, Who are you?"

" I must be lonely"

Continued�.
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