Ric's World -View from the Pillion: Screw Laughlin

Our weekend at 'Screw Laughlin' was something we had been looking forward to for a long time and, just as with all big trips, the excitement is tangible as you read over your lists and prepare the camping gear, check and recheck your maps and count down the days. (Note: "Screw Laughlin" is an alternative event, for bikers by bikers, held at the same time as the RUB-fest known as the "Laughlin River Run". For information see www.ScrewLaughlin.com)

Saturday morning I took the 'girls' over to the Doggie Dude Ranch for a little R&R while we were hitting the road for the weekend. They were pretty excited to go, so my guilt gene wasn't kicking in too much. After they were tucked away at their 'resort' i made one last minute stop to get a flashlight for our trip.

Master was putting the finishing touches on the touring bag, making sure we had everything rolled up and tucked in. i got the last minute necessities packed into my little pocket and donned my riding gear. It was so warm, and because i'm on the pillion, i elected to leave my chaps at home. Getting on and off Vixen would be daunting enough without the restriction of the leather chaps. Because of the touring bag i would have to put my leg over the seat instead of standing on the pegs to get on, so i tried to wear something 'flexible' for the job. i did, however, wear my t-shirt and vest and Master was in full riding gear minus the jacket, which was tucked on top of the touring bag, in case the evening became chilly.

With the limitless blue sky above us, we locked up the house and headed for the highway. Our first destination was Charley's Place, where we would get our first card and ride pin for the beginning of the poker run. We were there early enough to get a pin, and had just a short wait while they signed up the motorcycle clubs first. Two bloody mary's later, we had our cards tucked in our vests, and looking over the next destination for card #2. It was already in the upper 80's and barely 1030 in the morning. Gotta love the desert.

Our next destination was the Roadhouse Steakhouse Saloon, the roundabout way of course. Anything to stay off the freeway. I'll tell you truthfully, the more i ride in the desert the more i appreciate the beauty of the rocks, the cactus, the trees and flowers that adorn the road. We had some nice sweeping curves and not much traffic at all. The best of all is looking in the rear view mirrors and not seeing anyone crowding you down the road. Sometimes the quiet and vast landscape just move me, feeling very grateful to be in this place, in this time of life.

We made a stop at the Roadhouse for our card and had a nice ice tea to wash some of the heat out of our throats. Soon enough, though, we were back on the road headed on I-17 for a place called Kid Chilean's in Black Canyon City. It was a very 'western' facade, with a corral in front which housed a donkey and a horse. They were in the process of constructing another set of buildings with the western theme just east of the parking lot. We dashed in, drew our cards, and climbed back on Vixen for the next leg of the journey.

The hills flew by, still having a lot of green on them, lots of saguaro on the hills, as well as beautiful red flowers and small trees close to the road. It was about another 35 minutes until we came to stop #4 which was Grand Canyon Harley. It was about 1:30pm by then, and we were gettin hungry. We looked around at the new bikes at the Harley dealer, Master bought a pin for his hat, and we went next door to the Hungry Bear, where we drew our fourth card. We decided it would be a nice place to get some lunch before rolling into Cordes Junction for our last card and our final stop to set up camp at Papa's Place.

After sitting at the table for about 20 minutes they finally noticed we were there and got us our drinks. By the time we finally got to order it was another 30 minutes and probably another 20 before it was served. We both decided that would be our last stop at the Hungry Bear. That bear is still probably roaming around trying to get someone's attention!

With a lot of excitement we finally left the restaurant and headed on the short journey to Papa's Place. We pulled up the long gravel driveway and saw all the other bikes already there. We found a temporary place to park Vixen while we checked out the area, drew our final card, and chose a spot to set up camp.

There were several vendors there with various and sundry t=shirts, pins, jewelry, knives, leather, etc. We saw a really cute wooden rocking cycle (yes, it was a cycle, not a horse). We talked to an old friend from our SCA days who is a knive and sword vendor and then we scouted out a likely place to unload Vixen and set up the tent.

We elected to take the little road adjacent from the main road to the restaurant and park against a small hill. We set up the tent next to Vixen and secured one side to her sturdy girth, as the wind had picked up a bit and we had no stakes to secure the tent. The tent went up quickly and smoothly, i unloaded the air mattress and got the pump working on it so we could party til whenever and not have to worry about a place to sleep. After getting the flannel red sheets on and the new wool navy blankets Master had just purchased for warmth and economy of size in folding, we were ready to head over to the restaurant and see where the festivities were happening.

We were greeted in the restaurant by the owner's wife, and graciously led to the backyard, so to speak, where they had a huge grassy area behind the diner where a stage and chairs with patio tables had been prepared for the party. We got our bbq dinner tickets and found a nice log to stretch out on, and just relax and take in the scene. There were a few small children, but for the most part you could see several large groups of different clubs - Hells Angels, Desert Thunder, sober Riders, and others. They were clustering in their own groups, but being very gregarious and open to all who greeted them.

About 4pm they began the knife throwing contest where a large plywood panel had been stood up with a silloutte drawn on the front, highlighting the heart and, well, the crotch. Everyone had a great time taking their turn throwing the knives, with a few actually hitting the right target!! i think there was a direct correlation between how many beers you had and how likely the knife was to stick in the wood, but everyone had a great time trying.

Next, they had the Jap Bashing Contest. Someone had provided an old, rusted out Honda 350cc which had seen better days. For $5 you could take three whacks at it with a big sledge hammer. They also had a short hand held sledge hammer for the women which i thought was very sweet. The guys had the most fun with this, and i think it went on far into the night. First they bashed in the gas tank, then the front headlight. i think it was Master who took the final whack on the headlight, because he knocked it clean off the bike!

Afterward they got the band going about 5pm and we went up to the patio to get our dinner. They were HUGE bbq beef sandwiches, with cole slaw and potato salad. It was all delicious, and after enjoying the band and dinner we relaxed in some chairs near the back. We chatted with a few people there, swapping stories about the bikes, etc. We took a walk back to the tent to get the flashlight and put on something a little warmer, as the night was becoming just a bit chilly.

It had gotten very dark by then and on the way back to the tent i happened to look up and nearly fell over. OH MY GOD, the sky was alight with stars. It was so utterly amazing i just stopped and said 'Master, look up". We both just drank in the beauty of the night, amazed and so very happy to be spending this great weekend in such a wonderful place, away from traffic, city, noise, etc. i will just never forget how beautiful it was out there, the mountains silloutted by the moonlight, millions of stars. Unbelievable.

We got out warmer gear and went back to the party. The band took a break and they had a comedian perform. He was very funny and had a few magic tricks. Master made me go up and volunteer for one of the tricks, but i really had a blast.

The owner of the restaurant that was hosting us pulled out a HUGE firepit and loaded it up with logs. They lit that fire and it just seemed to engulf the middle area and keep everything warm.

It was now time for the wet t-shirt contest. They made all the kids leave the area and called on the first contestents to get their t-shirts on and come out. This was the 'costmetically enhanced' category and there were only two girls who participated. There was much ado about getting them wet, and getting the applause so they could judge who was the winner. i was chuckling to see the most senior biker in the group trying to get his chair in 'just the right' position. He was really enjoying himself. We were all laughing and clapping for the girls.

When that portion was over the next and final category was called, which was the 'au natural', i.e. no implants! There were about 10 girls which had signed up for this and all were shivering, lined up next to the building. They scrambled to get enough pitchers of water to soak down the girls' shirts. By this time i gave up trying to see anything because everyone was standing and trying to take pictures.! i just applauded when it seemed appropriate and was glad that everyone was having such a good time.

The last girl in line got drenched before she could tell them she wasn't in the contest. It turns out she was one of the waitresses, and she won!!! That was fun, and everyone had a great time trying to figure out who was better than the next.

After the girls were done, we settled in close to the fire and listened to the band. When things were winding down, and the band was finished at midnight, we decided to make our final rounds before turning in to sleep. As we walked toward our friend from MMA Master saw a brown paper bag sitting alone by a chair which said 'LADMO BAG'. Well, he was sooooooo excited, and told our friend 'hey, who left the LADMO BAG?' She said whomever had won it didn't really know what it was and just took the stuff out of the inside and left the bag. Master said, 'MAN, THE BAG IS THE BIGGEST DEAL' and she told him to take the bag, which had a bag of chips and some sodas inside. Well, we all spent the next hour reminescing about Wallace and Ladmo. (a note here: The Wallace & Ladmos show was a Phoenix childrens' show with adult humor in the '60s) I really love hearing Master talk about growing up in AZ, and how different it was in the 60's and 70's.

It turns out we ended up talking more in the ensuing two hours than we had the whole party. It was great, we were all talking and laughing about things and really got to make some new friends. It was really great and we finally headed back to the tent, reluctant to leave, but feeling exhausted from the excitement of the day.

The bed felt great, but i just needed to see the stars a little more, so we unzipped the window and laid there staring at the stars. it was amazing to feel so small under such a big universe.

Morning came way too early, with the desert sun interrupting our sleep. It was already in the high 80's by the time we got up and started getting things rolled up and packed away for the trip home.

We got the bike all packed away and went into Papa's Place for breakfast. Master had a chicken fried steak breakfast and i had a yummy strawberry french toast. We said goodbye to the owners of the restaurant and told them how much we enjoyed the weekend. They said they had a great time too and were looking forward to next year.

About 1030 we boarded Vixen Express and headed north to do a little sightseeing. We weren't ready to end this weekend so we decided to ride up Oak Creek Canyon, through Sedona and past Slide rock. I wish i could give you a really accurate description of what you see, riding through these areas, but honestly, i'm at a complete loss. Its awesome, powerful, amazing, profound, abundant, the grandeur of the red rocks around Sedona just simply take your breath away. There are rock formations that look like huge Indians sitting on top of the mountain surveying their land, and some that look like castles, amazing fortresses that guard this beauty.

We took a road that switched back so many times i lost count and upon arriving at the top we stopped at the lookout and took some pictures. Truthfully, they don't do it justice. You can see the winding road that we had just come up, thick pine trees on either side of the road, a huge wide open valley of pine trees, blue skies....magnificent.

When we went through Sedona we went over the Midgely Bridgley and pulled over at the rest stop. While relaxing and taking a smoke we were greeted by about 8 young adults, about 6 girls and 2 guys. The girls asked if they could take a picture of Vixen, and then one of the girls asked if she could get a picture sitting on it. Master is never one to turn down a pretty girl, so each took their turn on Vixen, posing for the camera. Turns out they were Serbian, and apparently were going back to Serbia to tell stories about riding the 'big boy'. i didn't want to burst their bubble but told them Harley makes a 'fat boy' but Vixen was a Heritage Softtail Classic. Close enough, they were happy to get a close look and then took off in their little cars.

Master decided to take me into Flagstaff, since i had never been therefore. We made a quick trip arond the old part of town. Its very picturesque, we rode by the college and saw some old buildings which really give the town the flavor of a mountain village.

We gassed up and hit the highway for the long journey home. Even though we were on the freeway, up near Flag its really beautiful with lots of pine trees on both sides of the road. The sky began to gather big fluffy grey clouds and the wind really picked up.

After about an hour and a half it really started getting warm again, as we had lost a lot of elevation. About halfway home we stopped near Camp Verde, at Montezuma's Castle. Master knew i was tired, but really wanted me to see the old Indian ruins. They were amazing, perched on the side of a big mountain, the Indians had build an adobe wall in front of a natural cave in the mountain. It was quite a fortress, and about 50-100 people lived in these walls when they were finished.

i really hesitate to tell anything about this last 50 miles home, because it was literally terrifying. Between the wind gusts and the semi's, truthfully i didn't know if we would make it. Master is an excellent rider and navigator, but the elements were really against us. We would come around a big curve between two mountains, and when we got out in the open the wind would just broadside us. Between that wind and the whirlwind of the semi trucks and car carriers, i didn't know if we would make it home. Master had to fight the wind ever mile of the way.

Shaken and weary, Master decided he needed a cold beer and a little rest before we got home and had to unload everything. We stopped at the Steel Horse Saloon, where they had a lot of celebrating and partying going on in honor of Screw Laughlin. We sat in the back corner and just tried to catch our breath.

We sipped our rum and cokes and chatted about the next big adventure the end of May when we are taking a weekend and going to Jerome and Snowflake. Always end a journey looking forward to the next!