April 2, 2003
So i'm in my room chillin. Doin absolutely nothing. I feel soo lost in everything. Schoolwork, dance, VCN, money, practically everything. *sigh* its a sense of confusion and i guess i feel lost currently. Life isnt wut is use to be back in da dayz. Wen i wuz young. i wuznt a kid nemore....ok i shouldnt go on. well yea thats the sense of feeling. i guess i miss that feeling of whenver i feel like shit or lost....best frien alwayz would be there and we'd just kik it and thingz would alwayz turn out fine. well he's too far away. and i guess i miss the brotherhood. o welz. hopefully i'll pull through. dance practice tonite and acting practice too. got alotta math hw left to do in addition. we'll c how thingz turn out. hopefully for the better.---1658040203.
April 2, 2003
Life isnt what as it seems. Life is based on your feelingz toward that special some1, or your frienz. That will tell you WHO you are, and how u feel about life. Or at least that is how you will learn about me and about me. Look at how i treat my frienz, and how i am, and u will kno what kind of persin i am. Because if you ask me whether i like my life or not, thats a rhetorical question. You already know the answer is no. And if you have to wonder why i answered no, then you dont kno who i am yet.---0435040503.
April 15, 2003
Spring BREEEEAAAAAKKKKKK!!! yup yup. i'm officially on spring break now. going to school on spring break....thats just plain sad. i've been doin that alot lately but then agin...i'm there to visit and get stuff done. culture nite this saturday and the dance team has alotta work to do. i have a good feelin though that we are gonna tear it up out there. we'll c how thingz go this week. yup yup. hmm...there's other thingz i wanna talk about...but not here...ahhaa....prolly hit up my Personal Logz soon 4 that stuff....welps yea...life's beeen alright....life is just dance and school. welps maybe i'll log it up soon agin. thats it for now!---0744041503.
April 16, 2003
Did alot today actually. so yea. i headed off to school wen outta nowhere....Nhi...yes thats rite...Nhi kalled me up out of the blue and asked me to hit the library with her. This is the gurl that u kall and her cell is alwayz off. odd. so yea...we hit the library for like friggin foreverz. like 3 hrs there....sad to say on my spring break as well. then got some soup for sis cuz lil sis is sick. thx Nhi for driving me. and then back to home. then soon wuz the VSA GBM. Hit that up and yes...once agin....Nhi went to that too. lolz. its like she lives once agin after hibernating for months. then went to Emotion practice at 8pm. and YES....Nhi went to that too to check out the team. odd how this gurl like disappears for like 5 months...and then reappears outta nowhere. well needless to say....long day today....tired....and its only 130....i usually stay up later.....welps....not gonna sleep yet. gonna nap till my fone ringz. aite nitez world!---0129041603.
April 18, 2003
Well day wuz rough....raining in the morning, which means "there goes tennis" but then agin, i couldnt play. Had to choreagraph tons of stuff. Then practice at 9. wuz gonna visit pami but thingz came up....sorriez pami. well i finally have time to write a log. on other thoughts....Its amazing how most of my family dunt kno who i am. Guess its my fault since i dunt tell them EVERYTHING that went on or goes on in my life. I guess i've grown apart from them. And they dunt seem to be "family" nemore. Sure they are my lil sis, big bro, cuzinz, mom and dad n stuff...but i guess i'm on my own. Sure i'm not...they are supporting me. But i feel like i'm on my own. I feel like i NEED to be on my own. I HAVE been on my own and sure..its hellz hard. its hellz hard wen u got no finaid or nething and ur in major debt and in alotta shit but thats life. thats wut makes it interesting. Keeps me pushing myself. The harder life gets, the stronger i get. so it all benefits me i guess. Enough of that BS stuff. Its me that got myself into this mess and it should be me who gets myself out of it ON MY OWN. *sigh* Until u understand my thinking, my morals, and y i'm still alive, dunt judge me. cuz fact is....u WONT understand me or the thingz i do. To those who read these logz and pick at the way i live life, who i am and the thingz that i chose to do in life....FUCK YOU! to end on a better note, i live for that one day and thats y i still love life. if u kno wut that one day is, then you kno my heart.---0226041803
April 19, 2003
Needless to say what went on, today wuz a LOONNGG HARD day! i'll write wen i have more time. its late. i'm tired. too tired. must sleep. makes me wonder. does ne1 actually read this thing? hahah! who cares, just a place for me to talk to myself, and those who care to kno wuts goin on in my life. tomorrow will be a hard way. personally and "culture nite"-ally. we'll c how both thingz work out. hopefully i smile with both. =) nitez n swt drmz every1.---0225041903.
April 21, 2003
Just got back from class. Gosh class is weird wen u've been gone for a week for spring break. Culture Night is over now so no more stress rite? Thanks to all those who came and supported VSA and Culture Night. And to the few ppl that i knew in the audience that actually knew me. Technicals during the show sucked bigtime. Lighting SUCKS! and so did the sound. GOOD JOB to all the Emotion Dancerz! u guyz/gurlz were the bestest! I gotta give it all of u. 1.5 weeks of learning and practicing and we pulled it off! hellz yea! u guyz looked great. if onlie it wuznt for the friggin lighting.....u peeps woulda rocked the place. And my anger at the lighting crew wuz caught on tape!! ask aldrin for the info on that. HAHAHA! i'll have a copy of the VCN on CD soon. Maybe.....ask me and i'll make a copy for u once i get my own copy. Thanks aldrin for the copy! and the AFTER PARTY at Club X. It wuz tite!!! gosh i got kicked off stage cuz i wuznt a gurl...B S! o welz...i had alotta fun there. I took off early cuz i wuz hekka tired. so off to crib AK. every1 wuz friggin there....geeze...wuz THAT fun or what!! ;) i wuz GONE!!! fucked UP!!! gosh madd hangover but o welz. party wuz tite. well as for the thingz i did that nite that i dunt remember....dunt tell me about wut i did...i do NOT wanna hear about it. aite gonna eat then sleep! cuz i NEED IT!!---1205042103.
April 23, 2003
Ok so i lost my voice. Officially today. I lost it yesterday, but i could still talk a bit, but today, its totally gone. Hopefully i get it back tomorrow. Gosh i sound like crap. haha! so didnt do much the last 2 dayz. School wuz alright. *sigh* just sucks to have ur voice gone and not able to speak for crap. welps. nutin much. just thoughts that roam my head. as alwayz. good thoughts. so thats a good thing. welps imma get some rest...cuz i'm dying...literally. aite nitez every1.---0130042303.
April 25, 2003
Hey world. So I woke up late this morning. Due to the fact that I went on a latenite run and I knew i didnt have to wake up early today. Burrito runs are good. So yea, i found out today for SURE that i'm heading to San Jose on June 5th. I'm actually taking a flight. So its my SECOND time in an airplane. First time wuz wen the marines took me and Sylvia up in a twin engine Cesna type plane. either way, it wuz kewl at first. For the record, i kno its late, but Sylvia CANNOT FLY! so this is gonna be my 2nd time in the air, first time in a commercial airplane. I'm sooo excited. So today will be a boring day. No work, i miss the kids already. The yelling, the screaming, the annoyingness. And the ones that are chess geniouses who kick my butt. *sigh* o welz, heading back to OC early today cuz my sis needs to do some stuff. Welps, until next time. Laterz world.---1157042503.
April 26, 2003
YES! i worked on my webpage since i didnt have much to do. Added the revolutionary ChatterBOX! yay! Currently in OC. Headed home early today. Around 2:30pm i took off from SD. Slept alot. Ok thats all. I gotta goto sleep. almost 3am. AHH!! must go. Nitez every1!---0259042603.
April 27, 2003
*sigh* sometimes i feel like i have the worst luck or worst timing. can never seem to get thingz right. i guess i'm too much of a perfectionist at times....at least wen it comes to this....but o welz. thats the way i am. guess i have to deal with myself on that. need food. this pill i'm suppose to take is killing my stomach!---1915042703.
April 28, 2003
yea...sometimes i feel like thingz dunt work the way i plan them to work. especially wen u plan something out for soo long, and then it all goes down the drain cuz the plans dunt ever seem to go through. and its nothing i can do about it but to reset. hmm...got some medz in me....i'm getting more and more delerious as i stay awake...so imma jst head off to bed. Hopefully i can just stop plannin and thingz will work out AS planned....ok yes.....i'm very delerious now....i'm not sure i'm even making sense....but i'm sure i'm not...*sigh*...off to bed i go. nitez.---0227042803.
April 29, 2003
Just woke up from a nap. Felt good, but people keep waking me up n stuff with txts and fone kalls. Got free ice cream today from the "Cone Day" at Ben and Jerry's. It wuz good. day is boring as usual. Parents just kalled and that woke me up. They said they were meeting up with the doc on thurs to discuss my lungs and the xray they took. Hmm... SARS? HA! weird though. Doc wouldnt make an appointment if it wuz just nothing. O welz....i'll find out wuts wrong with me on Thurs. But hey...wutevaz it is...i'll live! haha! i'm like the friggin rock. Aint nutin takin me down. Prolly something that makes my lungs weak or something and i have to take more BS medz. Parents demand me go home this weekend. YES WTF? I had my eye on Magic Mountain for sooo long now. and now i have to go home? *sigh* like i said, thingz never work the way i want them to...for ANYTHING! Hopefully the doc doesnt say nething serious. Its not the lungz i'm worried about. I'll alwayz live. its the Magic Mountain trip. For ONCE let my plans actually go through. *sigh* so i wont kno about magic mountain trip until this thursday. "Die Another Day."---1946042903.
April 30, 2003
Interesting Night tonite. needless to say....its all worth the assurance. feel better Keiko! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!(April 28th). nite ppl!---0312043003
