�I love TAF.� TAFers say it so often that I've found myself wondering whether most of these people actually love it? Why do we say we love TAF? For some, TAF is simple fun. The people are nice and the atmosphere is welcoming, so we could just love TAF because it's easy to love. But I guess I'm lucky, because for me, there's a lot more to love about TAF than just the fun.

I started coming to TAF in 1995. Both TAF and I lived happily in Grand Rapids, Michigan. After just that first week in the Juniors program, I was already addicted for a lot of reasons. First, I was a kid. Kids like having fun. I was also a nerd�one of those rare mutations that actually enjoyed the lectures. I liked learning about these different aspects of myself and began to realize, as much as a 10-year-old could, that I might be able to improve upon me. Ever since, I've returned to TAF year after year. Even after I moved to Cincinnati, we still made the six-hour car trip every summer to visit both my home in Michigan, and also my home in TAF. By now, I'm on my 7th consecutive year, and even TAF has moved. My statistics come out at two years in Juniors, three years in Junior High, and an additional year in Junior High as an ILT. Still, the total time I�ve spent at TAF adds up to only 1� months. So out of my 16 years of existence, I've spent less than 0.8% at TAF. Yet it's been one of the greatest influences I've ever had. TAF is nothing short of remarkable.

Granted, TAF has always possessed its faults. We've already had to abandon shaving cream fights, but even some parts of TAF that may seem inherent are actually somewhat damaging. Sleeping and eating�people seem to forget how to do these things at TAF. Bravo to the vegetable police in the Juniors, but even the Junior counselors don't wake up for breakfast. Then there's the extremely touchy subject of religion, to which I will remain silent, and there's the cliquiness in TAF as well. Yet the experience and the magic I see in TAF far overpowers these blemishes.

To me, TAF is not just abstractly magical. I can cite exact events where I know I've changed. In 1996, throughout the Thursday picnic and shaving cream fight, I had managed to stay spotlessly clean. That is, until one of the counselors, nicely covered in shaving cream, decided to give me a big hug. She ended up tackling me on accident and I hit my head on the ground. It probably didn't even hurt that much, but I decided that I was injured forever, and wouldn't stop crying. I refused to talk to anyone. I remember how much I thought no one actually cared about anything I thought or did. Throwing fits at home had never resulted in the adult trying to reconcile before. And here were these people, telling me about how much I meant to them. All along, I had seen myself in a field of campers, with the counselors there only to perform the mechanics of taking care of the bratty kids like me. Now, for the first time, I gained a new perspective on my own value.

Then there's the racism workshop from 1999. I think a lot of the JHers changed from those tears. We had only been a group for four days and there we were, sharing our most hidden pains with everyone. It obviously goes beyond a bunch of Taiwanese Americans stuck at a culture learning camp. We have an absolutely unique community and an unrivaled trust in one another. What surprised me was that I wasn't even crying because I could relate. I couldn't relate to the stories being told. I had never been through what these people were describing. I realized then how idealistic I was being, how much I could talk but how little I had experienced. I cried because I felt the pain of others, a genuine love for people I had known for days.

When I'm asked why TAF is even �good�, I usually answer that it�s the people who make it good. It's the relationships, and I don't mean just those dramatic TAF romances, although I have to say that I've not been exempt from those either (hmm? haha). I think from my perspective now, TAF has ultimately been most valuable to me because I always grow. And I just shared only two Thursday events in my six years of TAF. Besides those, it was through the dances at TAF that I learned to stop standing still in a corner. I learned to speak up by growing through my small group sessions. When I reached the second JH breakdown session, I discovered I don't always need to cry. ILT proved to me how independent I am. My list of experiences could go on forever. TAF is a collection of my turning points. TAF is also a continuous journey of self-discovery. No matter how unproductive the rest of my summer has been, I can unconditionally depend on TAF to be a worthwhile use of my time. It's a sanctuary from the rest of my endless worries. There is no other community, no other environment so set apart in my eyes. So yes, I'm glad to say, �I love TAF.�