“ANGELS DON’T RIDE BUSES”                                                                      

 

                                                                        INTRODUCTION

 

      “My name is Chris. I’m glad school’s out and summer is finally here. I won’t have to put up with my dumb teachers and all their dumb rules. Yes! I’m going to hang out with my friends and sleep late. I’ll have the best summer vacation. Yeah, right! You see I’m not normal. What I mean is I’m normal, but I don’t have a normal life.”

 

     “I’m fourteen years old.  Well–almost. I will be next fall. You see It’s like this. I’m divorced­­. Well, what I mean is my parents are divorced and it ain’t cool. Like I’m zapped, you know? I had all these plans for the summer. You know, hangin’ out with the guys and stuff. My dad, who doesn't want to live with me anymore, wants me to spend my whole summer vacation with him! Man, I mean this really sucks.

 

     “What if one of your parents had the nerve to remarry and move three states away? Maybe your summer vacations wouldn’t be so much fun either. It doesn’t matter that I’m leaving my friends or that I might have a job for the summer. Do you know why it doesn’t matter? Because they whine, “You’ve been with your friends all year and I haven’t seen you!”  Whose fault’s that, anyway?

   

     They don’t want me to even look for a job. They’ll give me lots of spending money, they say.  Yeah, right. It’s the same money I would have to earn if my parents weren’t divorced. Man, there’s something wrong with this scene. Its like I haven’t lived long enough to know these things. This is why I have to go to school, so I can be as smart as they are. Well, they’re not so smart. I think they’re pretty stupid.”

 

     “I tried asking for a shorter visit and you can guess what my dad said. His voice can send chills down your spine, you know? Did I mention that he’s the one that moved away? What if I reminded him of that one, huh? We won’t even talk about it.

 

     “If you’re a divorced kid, you know about those dumb “telephone meetings,” don’t you? Did you ever watch your parent on the phone? Sneak a peek some time. If it happens to be your mom, which in my case it is, she’ll have the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on a face. She’s so proud that you have stood up for yourself. That you told your dad you don’t want to go away for the whole summer. She’s so proud that you finally expressed your self. What if I said I didn’t want to live with her and move in with my dad? Man, that would be the end of expressing myself.”

 

     “Mathematically speaking, two times zero equals one big fat zero. I have to leave one parent to visit another. This is a situation that I did not create but must live with. They really “love you and miss you” they tell you. However, what they don’t tell you is that they need you. They need you to get rid of their guilt and to make them happy. Lots of luck, man! Don’t worry, ‘cause you’re on vacation!”

 

 

 

Friends

 

           

 

     Chris and Doug were throwing their tennis balls up against the back wall of the school building. They always waited until after five o’clock, because by then Mr. Jones, the school janitor, was gone for the day. He yelled at them whenever they played there.

     “Do you have to go?” Doug’s eyebrows came together, stopping to catch the ball. He looked at his friend. “Jeez, we’ve only been out of school for two weeks!” he whined, shaking his head. He threw his ball even harder, causing him to run backwards to catch it. 

     “Do you think I want to go?” Chris yelled, slamming the ball.  “My dad’s been pestering me for a month now.” Chris knew that Doug would start pouting as soon as he told him. “You know I’ll send postcards. I might bring you a souvenir, too."

     “When are you leaving?”

     “Saturday, but don’t and I mean don’t tell the rest of the guys that. Tell ‘em I’m leaving Sunday, okay? My mom will be there fussing over me. You know, crying and stuff.”

   “Yeah, but then they’ll blame me when they find out!” Doug complained.

   “Nah, just say my Dad wanted me to come a day earlier. You know, like a change in plans. I don’t want ‘em sitting at the pizza house across the street, gawking and laughing at me, okay? Please?”

           

     Doug thought about this for a while, bouncing his ball. “Okay, I promise. I sure wish I was going with ya.” He looked at his friend and quickly said, “Hey, do you think¾

     “Well you can’t and don’t ask me again! I’ve asked him a hundred times already!” Chris had asked his father if Doug could come to Virginia and he wouldn’t allow it. “Come on, Doug. Don’t you think I wouldn’t want you to come? But better yet, I’d rather not be going there at all! It’s not easy for me you know. Heck, I’ll be away from you and all the guys for a whole month. Summer will be over when I finally get back!” Chris stood, bouncing the ball harder with his racket.

    

     Doug felt bad for his friend. “I know, Chris. I guess I’m rockin’ your boat, huh?” Stooping down, he pretended to tighten his shoelaces. Without looking up, “I’m going to miss you that’s all.” His voice began to shake and his eyes filled up. He kept his head down, not wanting Chris to see his face.

 

     Chris knew Doug was upset. He always got that way when he was leaving for the summer. He pretended not to notice and said, “Yeah, me too. Hey, aren’t you bored? Let’s go over to Seth’s. It’s Thursday and Mom said I can sleep over there tonight with you guys. Tomorrow I have to pack and spend the rest of the day with her. I can’t wait for that. All she’ll do is cry! Are all girls like her? If they are, I ain’t ever getting married."

 

     Doug just shrugged, never answering his friend. Chris always sounded off to him. They had been friends since the first grade. They lived on the same street and were always together.  From the time they first met, their parents took him and Chris everywhere.  When Chris’ parents first got divorced, Chris spent more time at his house than his own. Doug knew why, but never said anything to him. Doug’s mom explained to him that he needed family and support. They were always there for each other, no matter what. “That’s what good friends are all about,” she would remind him.

 

   They walked down the back alley and when they got to old Miss Tanner’s house, they just gave each other their usual look and grinned. It had become a ritual, almost everyday. First Chris, being the taller of the two, peeked over the fence. “Her car’s not there. Let’s go!”

 

   They scrambled over the back fence, crouching along the side of the house. They stopped and waited. “Is anyone coming?” Doug asked. He was out of breath and his whisper was too loud.

 

   “Nah, we’re good. Let’s go!” Chris ran out towards the front of the house, across the lawn onto the sidewalk.  Doug was right behind him. They ran along the walk until they were far enough away.

 

   Still out of breath, Doug kept looking behind him and Chris was laughing at him.  “Man, you worry too much. Stop looking guilty!” Chris would never admit to his friend that he worried too about old Miss Tanner catching them. He acted cool and started to whistle.

 

   “One day she’s going to catch us! I think I stepped on her flowers, Chris!”

 

   “Jeez, Doug. Not again! Her flowers have been there for years. When are you going to learn to jump over ‘em?

   “I forgot, okay? We better quit this stuff. We will get caught, you know.” 

 

   “Not me! I ain’t ever going to get caught. Heck, it beats going around the long way. If you’d remember to stay away from her flowers, we could keep this up for years!”

     Doug was still protesting as they rounded the corner to Seth’s house.

 

 

The Tree House

 

 

     Seth’s tree house was the best. It was big and it was their official clubhouse. They always stayed there when they wanted to spend the night. Seth’s dad had built it for him before his divorce. Seth was proud of it and they all kept their sleeping bags there. There was an ice chest for soda, sandwiches and stuff. There was a rug for the floor, a radio and even a mini-television that ran off of batteries. It was the best tree house in the whole town. You were the coolest, if you were invited to become a member. 

 

     They turned the radio up and gulped their cans of soda. They were going to party all night. It was their private place and one ever bothered them.

 

     “Hey, Guys! Can I come up? I brought us a real picnic this time. Please?” 

   

     It was Jason’s high-pitched voice, pleading with them. “Yeah, okay,” they yelled down, snickering among themselves. They could always count on Jason for lots of food. It was the only reason they let him in their club.

 

     “Man, this house is really shaking,” said Seth. “He’s going to break the ladder, I just know it!”

           

     “Quit it, Seth! He’ll hear you!” whispered Doug.

           

     “I heard you already,” yelled Jason, as his round, chubby face appeared in the crawl space that was their door. “But you can count on me for the good stuff I always bring ya,” he said, now out of breath. He was trying to wiggle his body up and into the tree house. They started laughing again.

 

     “Hey, I can’t help if this door’s for midgets!” he exclaimed as he shoved the large brown bag towards Seth. “Like I said, I bring the food.” He stared at Seth and waited for him to say something. 

     Seth shrugged and said, “Yeah, Jason. We can always count on you for the food.

      Whatcha bring good?” Doug asked him, knowing that Jason’s feelings were hurt. Seth always said dumb things to him.     

     “Lots of sandwiches and birthday cake left over from my sister’s party yesterday.” Jason gave a big grin. He knew he’d always have an ‘in’ with the guys as long as he provided their snacks. What's happening?” he asked, as he started cramming a sandwich in his mouth.

   “Nothin’ much,” answered Doug. “Except that Chris here is leaving Sat¾             Chris choked on his soda and glared at Doug   “Um, I mean Sunday for Virginia to visit his dad,” Doug added quickly.

     “Woah! You’re going again? You’re lucky, Chris,” said Seth. “I wish my mom would invite me to visit her this summer. My mom only remembers me twice a year. You know, like Christmas and my birthday. She can’t forget Christmas. And I know it’s my step dad that reminds her about my birthday.” Seth tried to laugh off his words but it didn’t work. All of them knew Seth’s mom. She hardly knew he existed.

     Chris said quickly, “Your step dad must really be cool, right? He’s probably like Anne, my dad’s new wife.”

     Before Chris knew it, they were all laughing and he didn’t know why.

     “I hope Anne and my step dad don’t look alike!” He laughed and the guys joined in.

      Chris felt stupid now. “You know what I mean. I didn’t like Anne at first but now I do.”

     “How’s that?” asked Jason, shoving the other half of his sandwich into his mouth, still laughing.

     “You know, like she never asks me to do chores or anything. Not like my mom. We play yahtzee together, go to the movies. All that stuff. The way my mom used to.”

   “That’s boring. It’s like being with your mother!” said Seth.

   “Nah, not really. I figured it out. She’s never had any kids of her own, so she doesn’t know how to act like a grouchy mom.”  It was Chris that began the laughter this time. He laughed even harder so that the others would follow him.

   Jason laughed loud and then began choking on his food.

     “How many times have we told you Jason! Don’t laugh when your mouth is full!” Seth said, as he elbowed Chris.

     "Yeah, but it's always full!" Chris had made the remark and his friends roared with laughter. They all clapped their hands and Chris loved being the star.

                 “Come on, guys. Quit it!” said Doug.

     "Jeez, We’re just jokin’ with him. Right, Jason?” Chris was always fascinated with Jason. He wondered how much could one person eat?

     Seth shook his head. He looked at Chris. “Tell us more about Anne.”

     “Well, for one thing, she really is cool.”

     Chris knew he gotten all of their attention now. "She never tells me what to wear or how to where my hat! She treats me more like her friend. You know what I’m saying?”    

     They were nodding but Chris knew they didn’t understand. “Look, it’s like this. She doesn’t check on me every five minutes. She doesn’t leave me a key, frozen dinners or notes all over the fridge. She’s like, you know, okay.”

      “Is she pretty?” Seth’s eyes narrowed.

   “Yeah, kind of, “ Chris answered. “But I can’t ever mention her name to my mom. Man, does she get jealous! I guess it’s because Anne has sort of adopted me, you know? That’s not such a bad thing, I guess.” Chris’ face grew serious. 

     “So your telling us your step mom is okay,” said Seth. “She doesn’t give you chores, she plays yahtzee with you, she takes you places and she’s pretty, right? My step dad is kind okay too, but he's sure not pretty!"

     The tree house rocked with their laughter. " Like I said before, you’re lucky! My parents divorced and I hardly ever see my mom. Your dad calls you and sends the UPS truck to your house almost every week! Man, the driver even waves to us. Doesn’t he, guys? Did you know that, Chris? Hey, he’s almost a relative!” They all roared again.

                 Man, I wish I was in your shoes,” said Seth. This time he was serious. 

     “You think I’m that lucky, huh? My dad sends me all that stuff out of guilt. He gets my mom jealous every time. She says it makes her look cheap. I really should explain things to her. You know, about his dumb games. Maybe then she would and stop acting so stupid about everything.”

               “Why don’t you?” Jason innocently asked.

    “Because, Jason. Parents don’t listen to kids!” Chris just shook his head at him. He reached over to grab a sandwich. “Does your dad and mom ever fight?”

     Jason held another half of sandwich. It was on its way to being plopped into his mouth, but stopped in mid-air. Chris’ question had taken him by surprise. “My parents? Um, I don’t think so. I mean I never thought about it. Probably not, I guess. Mom’s too busy cooking to fight and my dad’s too busy eating!” 

     The other three roared, rolling on the floor. He didn’t think his remark was all that funny. They kept it up until Jason himself was holding his side. Jason enjoyed the attention he was finally getting. Now he was the star, if only for a short time.

     After awhile they were quiet and sat listening to rap music, eating potato chips. Chris knew it was going to be a long summer without his friends. He never really appreciated them until the divorce. The whole time they were growing up, he just took them for granted. They were at his house most of time, because even before the divorce he had just about every toy a kid could possibly want.

     His friends came around like flies. They admired Chris and looked up to him. When every they needed to borrow something, Chris had it. Their parents always remarked that Chris had his own “toy store.”

     He was one of the most popular kids in the school and he knew it. He was tall for his age and good-looking. He was glad he didn't have zits and that he had some suntan already. He knew he looked good and sometimes he acted a little too conceited about it all. The girls were starting to hang around more, but he didn’t care for that too much.  He still would rather be with the guys. At least, he didn’t have to put on a front for them. Well, almost.   

      They joked back and forth for a long while.  Finally Chris said to Seth, “It’s great listening to music without them around, ain’t it? Mom hates it and my Dad

blames her for me liking it. I really want to tell my dad it's all his fault! If he hadn't left, I wouldn't be having all this trouble. I heard Mr. Johnson tell my mom that at the last PTA meeting." Chris waited for his friends agree with him.

     Doug finally said, “Chris, my mom and dad won't let me play rap either. They don't like it. I only play it when they’re not around.” Doug hoped Chris wouldn’t be mad at him for saying it.

     Chris said quickly, "So? What’s your point? Do they blame one another if your grades go up or down? Do they pick on you? I’ve been around your mom and dad forever, Doug. You and Jason have normal families. Seth and I don’t!”

     Seth figured Chris never even thought about his situation and it took him by surprise. “Um, yeah, Chris is right. You guys have normal families. We are the victims here. Sometimes, my dad just stares off into space. Last week, I asked him if he had made dinner yet. Do you know what he said?” You could hear a pin drop. “Nothing! Man, I mean nothing. He looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language or something.

                 Doug wanted to change the subject, but Chris wouldn’t let him. 

     Chris looked at Seth. “My mom is just the opposite of your dad. When she’s working the late shift at the hospital, she calls every half- hour! She nags me about cleaning up my room and staying out late on school nights. She nags me about my homework and to eat something! When she’s home at night to make dinner, she cooks and nags me to eat it. Jeez, she never gets off my back!”

     Seth took a deep breath, “I guess your mom is too much that way and my dad’s not enough, huh? My grandmother always says someone’s watching over me. At least I have her. She makes me deserts and comes here a lot. I figure she's checking up on my dad too."

     They all agreed, saying that she made the best cookies for them. They like Seth’s grandmother a lot.

     It was at that moment that Chris finally realized that he and Seth had more things in common than he had ever dreamed.  "I wish I had a grandmother to talk to. A grandfather would be even better!"

     They all agreed with him. Chris knew that every one of the guys were his true friends. “Listen up, you guys. I’d like to make a toast. It’s going to be a long summer and I wish I could stay.” 

     There was complete silence now, as they held their cans of soda up. They’d never seen Chris look so serious before.

     “I’m glad we’re all here tonight.” He looked over to Jason, “You too, Jason. Honest. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Besides, without you, we’d all starve!” He slapped him on the shoulder and Jason's face was one huge grin. All hands reached to the center, locking arms, pledging their loyalty. They started singing along with the music, with Chris leading the way.

     After they grew tired of the music, Chris brought out the last of his firecrackers he'd brought from Virginia. As always, they shot them off one at a time. After each one, they would run and hide in the bushes.

     Seth's dad came out to the tree house. "Okay, you guys. That's enough now. The neighborhood will be calling the cops on you." He looked stern and they knew they had better listen.

                        "Yes sir," they all replied together.

     They did find some other things to do that night. They went over next door to Mr. Jones' yard. He had the best vegetable garden in the neighborhood. While Jason held the flashlight, they "borrowed" some sweet tomatoes, under protests from Doug. They made tons of sandwiches, only this time it was Seth who supplied two loaves of bread and a jar of mayonnaise. They partied late that night, sleeping until almost noon the next day.

 

   

The Bus Stop

 

 

      Chris wanted a window seat and the bus was leaving in fifteen minutes. He

 needed to get on the bus but his mom insisted that he stay with her longer.

      “Please, Chris,” she begged. “I won’t see you for the rest of the summer!”

     He couldn’t handle it if she started crying again. He didn’t try to explain this to his mom because she wouldn’t understand. Did she ever? It’s not that he didn’t want to stay with her. It just made it that much harder for him. Whenever he visited his dad, this same scene would take place. Besides, his friends would laugh at him if they saw her there! It would be like the first day of school. You know, your mom waiting with you at the bus stop. Sure, right!

     She awkwardly patted him on his shoulder saying  Don’t forget to take your vitamins, brush your teeth, and change your underwear every day,” she whispered to him.  

   “Mom!” Chris exclaimed, looking around to see if anyone was listening. He did feel kind of sorry for his mom. She just didn’t understand how the guys teased him. 

     “Mom, I really have to get on the bus. I want that seat in the back!” He gave her one last tight squeeze and quickly turned away. Jeez, he thought. I hope no body sees me. He had told everyone he was leaving tomorrow, just so they wouldn’t come to gawk. He just knew those jerks were watching him from Tony’s Pizza House. Did Doug tell them, after all? Nah, he’d promised him he wouldn’t.

   “Don’t forget to call me tonight!” She yelled to him.

              He waved to her over his shoulder, nodding and promising her he would call.

   It would be a six-hour ride to Virginia.  By the time he reached his father’s house in Roanoke, it would be “really late,” he had told his mother. This cleared the way for a shorter “check-in” call. His father always became annoyed whenever he’d call her after he arrived. Their remarks about each other kept Chris on edge. It made it almost impossible at times. Sometimes, he couldn’t even mention their names to each other. Dumb!

     Looking straight ahead, he stumbled past the sea of faces to the rear of the bus. He was relieved to find the seat still empty next to the window. He felt everyone was staring at him and was watching him. He didn’t look around him as he placed his backpack in front of him on the floor. He knew too, that when he looked out the window, his mom would be waving to him. Man!

     Chris was wondering when the bus was ever going to move. Finally the bus started up and pulled out of the depot. He let out his breath slowly, then taking a deep breath; he turned to wave to her one last time. She yelled to him “I love you!” He smiled as he waved back. He knew she would like that, because that was the way she would want it.

   When the bus turned the corner and he had lost sight of her, his eyes filled up. He tried to swallow but there was that familiar achy lump in his throat. It happened every time he was leaving and he hated himself. Girls were supposed to act this way, not him. 

     Like all the other times, Chris began to feel miserable. He wondered if it was always going to be this way. If it weren’t for the divorce, he would never have to take these bus trips.

     Chris clenched his fists, thinking, "I could handle all of it if she would just stop making a big deal out of everything and if he would remember that I have a life too! Does any body care? Chris rooted through his backpack looking for his radio. It was going to be another long and boring ride.

 

                                                           

The Bus Ride

 

           

     Chris put his walk man on and tried to concentrate on his music. He was grateful that no one could hear it. In a couple of years he figured he wouldn’t have to explain his music to anyone and that would be all right with him.

     He wanted to go to sleep but he couldn’t because the lady in front of him kept putting the back of her seat up and down. He was constantly shifting his backpack or moving his legs. Adults! Did the world really need them? One day, he would be an adult himself. He knew that. He just didn’t want to act like one.

     Seeing Anne would be cool. Whenever he wasn’t with Mike, the only friend he had made in Virginia, he and Anne did a lot of things together. She didn’t work, so he never had to carry a key or anything. It sure was different there. They would go places and do a lot of things. They would play monopoly until his dad came home from work. After dinner the three of them would play yahtzee. I can even wear by hat backwards!  Why couldn’t his mom be more like her?       Thinking of these things, reminded him now of his hat. Turning his hat around, he leaned back, stretching out his long legs.

     He fought hard to go to sleep but couldn’t. As usual the night before these trips, he didn't get much sleep. He hated the bus rides for more reasons than one. The most important one was that all it ever did was make him think too much.                         

     His father had been trying to persuade him to come and live with him. “Your grades haven’t been all that great, Chris. Maybe it’s because of the divorce or maybe it’s because of your mom’s late hours at the hospital, I don’t know.” Naturally, it was her fault!

     “If you lived with Anne and me for a while, you could try a new school. You would make new friends and things might be better.”

     Sometimes Chris liked this idea. He could get away with a lot more there, away from his mom. His teacher, Mr. Johnson, told his mom that she should consider his moving with his dad. Chris knew of course, that this decision would not be the right one. Not for him or for his mother. His mom would cry all the time and then he would feel guilty for leaving her, like today.

     Whenever he told Doug this, he'd say, "That's the only time I wouldn't want to be in your shoes man!” Chris didn’t want to be in his shoes either, especially now.

  

 

                                                                                                                         

******

 

 

     Chris looked out the window and watched the rolling green hills pass behind him.  "I bet they’re neat when there’s snow on ‘em. It’s so hot! I wish I could go sledding!

     Two more grownups sat across the isle from him. Chris guessed they were husband and wife because they were arguing with one another. She wondered if they should have sat in the front. She was wearing an ugly, putrid green plaid dress and her hair was sort of orange. She was holding a handkerchief up to her nose telling her husband that she was getting sick from the fumes of the bus.  He was telling her it was her imagination and to stop making a scene. Chris figured she had made a scene as soon as she put on that dress and hair! He just couldn't understand why adults picked on kids about the clothes they wore. He was never going to dress or act like any of them. It made sense to him!

     For a while, the ride was okay. His walk man was on and he was listening to his favorite rap. He felt so free. No one was nagging him or telling him what he should or should not be doing. He felt like an adult, but thought that he could still wait a while longer to be one. 

   He looked at the couple again. The woman still had her handkerchief attached to her face. Her husband’s voice was becoming louder. Chris shook his head, laid his head back and closed his eyes. I’m never getting married as long as I live. If I don’t get married, I won’t ever need a divorce. I’m going to travel for the rest of my life. It won’t be by bus either!

     Before he dozed off, he was thinking that maybe he should run away to some island. He would be the mayor and make all the rules. His friends would run the police department and the town. Oh, and the school? He’d make Doug the principal, because he got the best grades. The grown-ups could only live on one side of the island. Parents could only visit their kids once a year…by bus…especially his.

           

     He slept until the bus pulled into the rest stop.  The driver announced that they would have only twenty-five minutes. Chris needed to go to the bathroom and get something to eat. He was glad to get out of his seat and stretch his legs.

     Chris flushed the urinal before using it. He always felt better doing that. When he finished he walked over to the sink. While combing his thick brown hair, he watched the man next to him. He had hardly any hair, but he was trying to comb it. Chris almost laughed out loud. Why did he bother?

     The man looked at Chris’ head. “I used to have hair like that son. Better hang on to it!” After the man left, Chris stood staring at his head. Would he ever lose his hair like that?

     How could there be so many people in one line, Chris wondered. Everyone was going somewhere. But they probably wanted to go, Chris thought. He bought a sport’s magazine, two sodas, three chocolate bars, peanut butter crackers and some gummy bears.

     He thought of his mom and looked at his watch. Stuffing his things into his backpack, he knew he didn’t have much time. He had eight minutes and went to the pay phone and called her.

     “Mom, I don’t have much time. I’m half way to Virginia. Don’t worry. I’ll call you as soon as I get there, okay?

     She said something about being careful and she loved him.

     “I love you too. See ya. Bye.” 

     His call had made her happy and Chris felt better.  He hurried to get back on the bus. But his good mood didn’t last long. He was surprised to see an old man sitting on the aisle seat next to his. Chris mumbled now, under his breath. "Shoot! Another one and an old one at that! Just add it to the list!"

 

 

“The Old Man”

 

 

   Chris wondered if the old man was going to be another grouch as he made his way towards the back of the bus. When Chris was about three rows from the back, he noticed that the old man looked sort of friendly. He had a cane and Chris saw that it was poking out into the aisle. How am I going to get by him? I will have to step over it. What should I do? What should I say? He began to panic as he made his way to his seat.   

     “Excuse me, sir, b-but that's my seat near the window,” said Chris. He was a little nervous.

   “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I’d better give you some room to get by then, shouldn’t I?” the old man said softly. The man’s hands were resting on his cane. It made Chris think of the shepherds. You know. The kind on a Christmas card or something.  He had very white hair and a beard to match. Chris thanked him as he crossed over in front of him to his seat.

     “I gather you’ve been on the bus for quite a while now, haven’t you son?" he asked Chris.

     “Um, kinda." Chris replied, thinking to himself that the man called him son. Jeez. Now he’d have to act perfect.

                “What’s your name?” the man asked him.

     “Charlie. Charlie Brown.” When Chris realized how stupid the name sounded, he immediately added, “I mean Charles Brown, Jr.¾sir." He tried to cover up his lie. "It’s because my Dad’s name is Charlie too. Um, I mean Charles Brown, Sr.”

     “Well, Charlie Brown, Jr. I’m glad to meet you.”

     It was a habit for Chris to give out false names. He figured if he ever had to run away, he wouldn’t be found so easily.  Almost immediately, he regretted lying to the old man and he didn’t know why.

      “Where are you going, Charlie?” There was amusement in his voice.

     “I’m going to visit my dad in Roanoke. Um, in Virginia."

            The man nodded. “Ah, Yes. I heard it was beautiful there.”

     Chris turned and looked at him, thinking he would probably talk the whole way. He already asked too many questions. He had too many clothes on for summertime. A shepherd’s robe would have suited him better. At least he would look cooler! He had on a heavy black suit and tie. Chris guessed he dressed that way because that's what old people did. He had heard they were always cold.   

     Remembering his question about Virginia, he answered, “I guess so. I haven’t been to a lot of places in Virginia except maybe Kings Dominion. That's where my dad and step mom took me last year.”

     “Kings Dominion? I never heard of that town. Well, isn’t that strange. I thought I knew all of the smaller towns,” he said, shaking his head in puzzlement.

     “Oh, it’s not a town, well not a real one. I mean it’s a real town, but it’s kind of like make believe. Do you know what I’m saying?”  

     Chris almost laughed, watching the man’s face. He had this real dumb look on it, like the kind his mother got when he would mention a rock group that she had never heard of.

     “You seem to be amused young man. Did I say something funny?”

     Chris replied, “Oh, no! You just had this du—I mean—well¾.” Chris stopped short. He hoped the man didn’t catch on to what he was about to say. He knew his face was red, because he could feel the heat rising up to his cheeks. He took a deep breath and started over.

     “Kings Dominion is like a smaller Disney World, only it’s way smaller. You know, it has rides and everything.” When the man appeared to be interested, Chris continued with, “They have awesome roller coasters!”        

     “You like roller coasters? I guess most kids your age like them, don’t they? I must say, I never had the chance to take a ride on one. They look pretty scary to me!”

     Chris shrugged.  “They don’t scare me! I close my eyes and throw up my hands when I get to the biggest hill. The scarier it is, the better I like it. It’s a real trip, man!”

     Chris was almost convinced that maybe the old man was really listening. He discovered he had the bluest eyes that he had ever seen. They were weird somehow. It was like you could see through them.  Well, almost.

     “Do you always wear your hat that way?  Even when you go down those big hills too?” His blue eyes looked like they were laughing at him.

      Chris nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

     The old man thought for a moment. “I guess it would make your ride more streamed-lined now, wouldn’t it? You know, maybe like a tail section of an airplane to help it fly better. Well, then. That would explain it, wouldn’t it? That would be a very good reason to wear it that way."

     Chris laughed thinking that maybe this was one neat old man, even if his hair was pure white. He certainly had a lot of it, even more than his dad.

     “My parents hate the way I dress,” Chris continued, “ Especially the way I wear my hat. All my friends and my coach wear their hats this way.”

     He became quiet and when the old man didn’t say anything, he figured he didn’t want to talk anymore either. Chris figured that’s how old people are. You know. They eat a little, talk a little and take lots of naps. 

     He looked out of his window once more, which seemed to be a very long time. It was so quiet that Chris guessed he was sleeping and wanted to check him out. Sitting perfectly still and looking straight ahead, he rolled his large brown eyes to the right to catch a glimpse of the old man.

    Chris would have laughed if he could have seen himself. He looked like a puppet. His head was held rigid, with only his big brown eyes moving from side to side.

     Suddenly the man opened his eyes. Chris almost jumped out of his skin, when the old man leaned towards him and announced, “I’m not sleeping.”

     The old man laughed softly. He realized he had caught Chris completely off guard. He whispered, “I would love to wear my Cubs hat that way! If I could, I would.” He gave Chris a quick wink. 

     Chris looked around to see if anyone was sleeping. Why was he whispering?  Chris shrugged and said, “So why don’t ya?”  Chris whispered back to him.  “You can do anything you want, you know?”

     “Why in heaven's name would you think that?”  The man’s blue eyes grew wide and serious. 

     “Because.”

     “Because?"

     “Because you’re an adult, that’s why,” Chris said with absolute confidence. “No one can tell you what to do!”

     “I suppose younger people could think that way.” He grew quiet and then, “It probably does appear that way most of the time. Does it, to you?”

     “Heck, man, yes!” Chris was a little irritated and forgot whom he was speaking to.

     The old man pretended not to notice. “We really can’t do anything we want. Why, sometimes, even we adults are told what to do. Oh, I know it must seem that way to you. But we adults are given rules to follow too. Heaven knows, I have my share of them.”   

     He glanced upwards and sighed. Chris followed his. Why was he staring up at the ceiling of the bus? Chris didn’t see anything up there worth looking at.   Shrugging, Chris still thought he was a little weird.

            “So you see, young man,” the old man continued, “we adults have rules to follow too.”  With that, he cleared his throat, folding his arms across his chest. He shifted in his seat until he was comfortable. After a couple of minutes, he reached into his pocket and pulled out some peanut butter crackers. He handed them to Chris and said, “I’ll trade you these for one of those chocolate candy bars you have down in there.” 

     “Cool,” Chris said, reaching down for a candy bar. He stopped short.  “Wait a minute. How did you know I had candy?”

     “Just a lucky guess. All boys with dark brown hair and eyes eat a lot of chocolate, don’t they?” His blue eyes were teasing Chris again, as they exchanged their snacks.

     Chris laughed until the old man was laughing too. They were having fun, just sharing each other’s food. He vowed he would never make fun of Jason again.

     Chris chomped on a cracker and then it dawned on him what the old man had just said. His mom used to tell him that all the time. She used to say his eyes and hair was so brown, because of all the chocolate he ate. He had forgotten about it until now. That was a very long time ago when he was just a kid! He shook his head. Man, this scene was really becoming weird!

     In spite of himself, Chris was very interested in this old man. Although he was very old, he liked him almost as much as Anne. He seemed to be one cool dude!

     They talked for a long while, mostly about sports and school. Chris even shared his sports magazine because the man seemed so interested, especially baseball. Chris didn’t mind at all. The man knew all the sports stars! Why, he even knew about Bret Favre. He liked the Green Bay Packers as much as Chris did! Wow! How did old people know these things?

     To think that he knew Bret Favre! Chris really liked him now. He treated Chris as if he was an adult. They actually had a lot in common and talked about a lot of things.

     Chris didn’t even mind when their conversation shifted to his family life. Little by little, Chris began opening up to him. He told him about his parent’s divorce and how upsetting the whole thing had been for him. He had never been able to talk to any adult about this before. Why, not even Mr. Johnson!

     "Jeez, do you know that when the divorce first happened, I hated to stay home? My mom cried a lot. It made me want to cry, you know? 'Course, If I did, she probably wouldn't have noticed anyway."

     The man’s voice became almost a whisper when he said, “Chris, you have had a bad time of it, haven't you?"  

     Chris was aware that he was beginning to whisper again, but it didn’t matter to him now. It was like the old man understood everything about him and everything he was feeling. He knew these things were very private and important to him. Heck, there were times when he even knew what he was thinking!

      “Yeah, sort of. My mom never wants me to go away to visit my dad and she doesn’t want me to live with him, either. If I tell her that I might want to, she gets all upset. And¾and then there’s my dad. He is constantly reminding me that I would be better off living with him. Then I get feeling all guilty, you know¾about my mom and all.”

   "What does your dad say?" the old man asked him.

   "Him? He gets all bent out of shape. It’s a bummer!”

     “All bent out of shape? Bummer?”

     The old man had that funny look on his face again. Only now, Chris didn’t laugh and he didn't think he was stupid. He knew that he really didn’t understand some of the things he was saying. It was probably because he was so old.

     “Oh, it’s just an expression, like¾like being mad or something. Oh and bummer is like when everything goes wrong¾like you know¾'what a bummer'!”   Chris still didn't know whether he understood.

     “Don’t you know all of the kids talk like this? Doesn’t your grand kids?” Chris took it for granted that he had them and that they were around his age.

     “Probably, yes. But it’s been too long ago for even me to remember,” and with that he let out another deep sigh.

     Chris was wondering how you forgot things like that. How could he forget his grand kids? He knew old people suffered from memory lapses. But up until now, he had thought that this old man was pretty darn sharp.

   "You've got a lot of hair on your head for an old–older person," Chris said, now pointing to his head. "Heck, my dad doesn't have half that much."

   "Yes, I suppose I do. I seem to get more of it as time goes by," the man said, his voice trailing off into the distance.

   "Jeez, I remember my last visit with my dad. I was standing in back of his chair, while he was reading his paper. I actually saw my reflection on his head. Can you believe that?” Chris started laughing again, as he visualized his dad's shiny balding head.

     When he finally stopped laughing, he asked "Have you ever heard of the game yahtzee?"

    "I have …" The old man waited for Chris to say something else.

   "Well, Anne and me ¾and my dad¾ play this game a lot. That night when I laughed at his shiny bald head? Well I called him a¾a clown." Chris began laughing again. He suddenly became embarrassed. He didn't even know why he was confessing all this.

     He cleared his throat and continued. "Well anyway, I laughed so hard that the tears were coming down my face…and my dad became really mad. Do you know he wouldn't speak to me for a whole day? Why, we didn't even play Yahtzee for two whole days!" 

     Suddenly remembering his own hair, he pulled out his comb. “I'm going to be just like you. I'll never go bald! Even if I have to take a million vitamins every day. Why, I would even kiss my mom twice a day! Man, I hope I never look or act like my dad. I'm already almost as tall as him.  But, that’s okay!" Chris popped another cracker into his mouth, offering the man another candy bar.

   

 

The Dream

 

 

     The two of them talked for a long time. The man had a way of asking questions, without Chris being aware of them until he answered. 

     An hour must have gone by and the old man became very quiet. Chris figured he was tired and wondered again if he was sleeping.

     Chris pretended to clear his throat and when the old man didn’t move, he leaned over to look at him. His head was back against the headrest, his eyes were closed and his hands were folded in his lap. His cane was resting against his seat. He noticed that the top of the handle was metal and shaped like a candy cane. It didn’t have stripes or anything, but it was bright gold in color. Lightly touching it, he wondered if it was the real thing. It was so shiny and it had strange letters on it that Chris didn’t understand. It must be really old, Chris thought. Maybe a billion!

     Chris explored the cane, being very careful not to move it. Further down the shaft of the cane, below the handle, were engravings of little kid’s heads. They circled the cane in rings. Some were girls and some were boys. What was really strange was that they all had wings! They looked just like the decorations his mom put on top of the fireplace at Christmas. He noticed their faces looked so real, like they were almost alive. Wow! This is some walking stick!  Glancing up at the old man, he knew he was in a very deep sleep. He never even snored.

     Chris felt a strangeness sweep over him, which he couldn’t explain. He just felt different some how. He looked at the figures once more and on closer examination, he noticed that on the last ring there was one engraving of a boy that didn’t have wings. It seemed to be the last one that was placed there, for there were no more after that. Who were all these kids, anyway?

     Being very careful, he took his hand away and looked up once more at the old man. Chris wished he wasn’t sleeping. He really liked talking to him.

     Shrugging his shoulders, Chris put on his walk man again. He closed his eyes. It had been a long day and he was tired.  His body began to feel so light. A feeling of weightlessness, like a floating sensation, crept over his body. He really didn’t want to be thinking about it, but on and off between his music, he would look at the man and wonder about the cane. He became very relaxed.

     Tired of listening to his rap, he switched the station to a softer rock. He was thinking how his parents would approve of this and he fell into a very deep sleep. 

     Chris had had his share of dreams and nightmares like most kids.  Only the dream he was about to have would be remembered for the rest of his life.

     In the beginning of the dream, Chris couldn't see a thing, because of the white, smoky mist. It surrounded him and there was a voice that seemed to come from the center.

     It began telling him that although there had been a divorce, everything would be okay.  When he is with his father, his mother would miss him but she would be okay. She would know that he was safe and happy.

     The voice went on to say that both of his parents loved him. All they really wanted was for him to be happy. "Just as you are separated from your parents, so they are from you. When a divorce happens, sometimes there are separations.  Your dad moved away because of his job. He doesn’t like being far away from you either.  It's hard on everyone."

     He was told he should never feel guilty about the divorce. More importantly, his parents would begin to think about what was best for him. They would learn to respect and understand his feelings.

   The voice had become a whisper, explaining the reasons why Chris felt the way he did. "Don't punish them by doing things you know are wrong." 

     “Remember always that they did not divorce you.  Although things have changed in your life, you are not responsible for the way things turned out. You may not understand the reasons for the divorce now. There will be times you will be sad and that’s okay to feel that way. The hurt you feel will begin to fade away.

     “The most important thing is this. You are still their son and they both love you very much. You will always be a family. Don’t be too hard on them, Chris. And don’t be too hard on yourself!”

  The last words that Chris remembered in his dream was that it would not be too long before his parents realized that he was old enough to decide with whom he wished to be with. “They will realize in time that you love them both, even though you may not always be with one of them.  You cannot be in two places at one time.” 

    At the very end of his dream, the mist began to fade. The voice became a shadowy form, almost transparent. When the mist faded completely, Chris realized it was an angel.   His eyes were blue, almost transparent. He wore a white flowing robe and had large white wings.

    Giving him these final words, the angel said, “I am your guardian and I will always stand by you.” The angel ’s blue eyes were very loving, as he laid his right hand on Chris’ right shoulder. Chris could feel his strong, but calm touch in his dream. It was so real. It made him feel so warm and protected. It was the way he used to feel, before the divorce.

     The angel removed his hand and backed away slowly. Before long, he was far in the distance.  Chris yelled for him to come back, but the angel had disappeared completely.

     Chris heard his own voice calling out, “Come back! Please come back!”  

     Sitting up quickly, he rubbed his eyes. He looked around and for a moment, he had forgotten where he was. He hoped no one was staring at him, especially the man and woman across from him. He didn’t want to look to find out.

     He realized now that it was just a dream.  He threw his head back again on the headrest, squeezing his eyes tight. When he finally opened them, he shook his head. Wow! What a dream!

     Remembering the old man next to him, Chris was embarrassed to look at him. He knew he was watching him. He felt so stupid and wondered if the old man had heard him yell out.

     Chris cleared his throat and felt his cheeks grow hot. “I must have been dr¾dreaming,” he stammered. Chris didn’t explain his dream and the old man didn’t ask. 

   The old man patted him on the shoulder and nodded.  “Some dreams are good. Everything will be okay now. You shall see.”

      During the time that was left, Chris and the old man talked away. He felt happy and was looking forward to seeing his Dad and Anne.

     He was glad he made a new friend too, even if he was old. 

    Outside of Roanoke, the bus pulled in for the final stop….

 

 

The Last Stop

 

 

     They both got off the bus together. Chris announced to him as they were walking that he had to go to the bathroom and get some more chocolate bars for the two of them.  The old man stopped Chris, placing his right hand on Chris’s shoulder. He had a very serious look on his face. It was almost like it had happened before.  

     “Chris, this is where I have to leave you. I’m meeting someone here in about a half an hour.”

     Chris was taken back by his words. He did not try to hide his disappointment. “You mean I won’t be seeing you anymore? Well then, I’ll come and visit you.”

     The old man kept shaking his head. "No, Chris. That's impossible.“ The old man's eyes looked sad.

   "Then give me your phone number and address!  I¾I will call you. I’ll even write you—sometimes.” He was practically pleading with him, but he just kept shaking his head. 

     “I’m sorry, Chris. It’s just not possible right now.” The old man patted his shoulder again. Then, he hesitantly took his hand away.  He quickly added, “But I will be seeing you again, I promise you that.”  His blue eyes almost twinkled when he added, “I will get in touch with you, fairly soon. I promise. A promise is a promise, right?"

            Chris shook his head, “But, I don’t understand. If I don't have your address or phone number, how can I get in touch with you?" Chris knew he'd have to thinks fast. "Hey, you don’t even have my phone number.” Here's mine, okay?  You can call me. And¾and here’s my address at my dad’s.”  He quickly dug into his backpack for pencil and paper, scribbling out the address and phone number as fast as he could. He handed it to the old man.

     His heart was beating so fast he could hardly breath. Suddenly he panicked and his face became all flushed again. “I didn't even ask you your name. Tell me your name. Please?"

     The old man replied,  My name is John and I will get in touch with you soon,” he reassured him. 

     Chris relaxed a little now.  For some reason he believed him.  Chris heard the announcement that they would be boarding in ten minutes. “John, I’ve got to go to the bathroom. Please wait 'till I come back, so I can say good bye to you, okay? Please! I won’t be long!"

     Not waiting for John's answer, Chris hurried away. Before he disappeared into the restroom, he turned to see John waving to him. He smiled giving Chris and "okay" signal. 

   Chris waved back. He hurried as fast as he could but it didn’t help.  When he returned to the place where they had been, John was gone. 

   Chris panicked as he quickly searched for him throughout the whole station. He never saw him on his way back to the bus. He remembered his Coke and candy. He rushed to the vending machines, got what he needed and ran towards the bus.  He glanced around once more before he boarded, hoping to see John again. 

     Chris asked the driver if he had seen which way the man with the white hair and beard had gone. The driver looked at him like he was crazy, saying he remembered no one with that description.

 

The Girl

 

     Chris began to feel like he had been betrayed. I was wrong about him. He’s like all the rest of them! They never keep their promises. He doesn’t care about me! No one cares!

     He headed to the rear of the bus.  He noticed a girl sitting in John's seat.  As he drew closer he wondered just how big a smile a girl could smear on her face.

       “Hey, you don’t mind if I sit here, do you?  I’m tired of those jerks up front,” she replied.  She didn’t wait for Chris to say anything and kept right on talking.  “I wanted to ask you earlier but I didn’t have the guts. To sit here, I mean.” 

     She tilted her head back, pretending to fix her hair. She was trying hard to really make a good impression on him. She was flirting with him now, batting her eyelashes. “Hey, you’re cute. I guess you already know that, huh?”

     When Chris could finally get a word in, he told her it was okay to sit with him.  He knew John wasn’t coming back. What a bummer! 

     She was kind of pretty with her long blonde hair. She didn’t have too many freckles and her eyes were very green.

     “My name is Patrice and don’t call me Patricia or pat!” 

   She dressed really sharp, but she talked too much, like the rest of the girls he knew. When she finally did stop talking, he asked her why she didn’t like her other seat.  He tried to forget about John, but it was really hard.

     “Why would you ask such a stupid thing?  Being around adults and old people? They bore me to death! Don’t you feel the same way?”

      Chris didn’t like what she just said. It was almost as if she was referring to John. He felt he owed him at least some loyalty 

     “I don’t know, I kind of liked that old¾ I mean the older man that I was sitting with. His name was John and he was really neat. I liked him a lot, I really did.” Chris forgot he was mad at John. He missed him.

     The girl gave him a very puzzled look, as she announced, “What man? There wasn’t anyone sitting here.  I’ve been trying to get up enough nerve to come back and sit with you the whole trip!”  She saw Chris’ puzzled look. He looked surprised.

     “Really, there hasn’t been anyone sitting in this seat the whole time that I’ve been on this bus!”

     Chris was confused. She had to be mistaken. “Whoa!  You’re definitely wrong. He had white hair, lots of it and a white beard.  He even carried a cane like the shepherds do on Christmas cards! You saw him!” 

     Trying to convince her seemed hopeless. However, the more he talked about it, the more upset he became. But not half as much as her!

     Her voice became loud and she answered with,  I’m going to say it one more time. 

     There was no one sitting with you!”  She began to eye him suspiciously.     

     Chris was confused again and started thinking that maybe it was all a dream.  But it wasn’t a dream! It couldn’t have been a dream! At least, not all of it!

     He tried to convince her again and she stopped him.

     “Are you one of those crazy people? I hope not! You see weirdoes like you all the time on TV.  You’re not, are you?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

     He figured that he should quit this conversation now or she would get up and sit somewhere else. He ignored her question.

     Your probably right. It was a dream I had—the whole time. You know how real they can be sometimes.”

     He was hoping he could convince her because she was looking at him like he was some weird creature from outer space.

      “In fact, I know now it was just a dream,” as he watched her face slowly relax. Yes!  I think I’ve finally convinced her!

     “Thank God! You really had me going there for a while. Everything’s cool, right? Hey, are you getting off in Roanoke, too? I hope so, because that’s where I live. Maybe we can see one another sometime. Wouldn’t that be great? Where do you live?"

     Chris heard her talking, and pretended to be listening. The truth was he hadn’t heard a word. His mind was on John, his dream and the strange things that had happened. She said she never saw him and I know he was right here! Chris shook his head in disbelief, as the Patrice rattled on and on. 

     Chris tried to think now. Real hard! John had disappeared so fast after I came out of the restroom.  It was like he vanished or something. And what about the dream he had?  Whoa! Was it John in his dream?  

     He thought about John’s cane and all the kids on it. They had wings, just like angels! Was John the kind of person that¾ the kind of angel that went around helping people?  Even kids like me?

     Smacking his forehead, he thought, Dah! Could I have been the last figure that was engraved on his cane? Was the boy without the wings me? 

     While Chris was thinking about it all, Patrice had not stopped talking.

     “Hey! I asked you a question! Where do you live in Roanoke?”  She knew that he hadn’t heard a single word. “Men! Did you ever hear anything?  Want some gum?”

     Chris looked at her but didn't answer. He knew she was mad at him. She picked up a magazine and began reading.

     Chris would never be the same again. I don’t believe in angels.  It’s really stupid! I’m being stupid! But things were beginning to add up and Chris couldn’t deny what he knew to be real.

     Jeez, I lied to him about my name and he called me Chris at the bus depot! John knew all along! He's an angel! He’s my guardian angel and a real live one!

     Shaking his head still, he asked Patrice, “Angels don’t ride buses, do they?”   

 

The End…

 

 

Note from the author: Dedicated to my two sons, Erich and Chris. This story is for all the children who have gone through a divorce.  Although we are the adults, we need to realize how very difficult it is for them. They are our “True Angels.”

 

 

Copyright 1995

2nd Revision March 2000

All rights reserved ©

Word Count: 10,578

 

 

 

 

 

 

                       

                                                           

 

The song playing is: "Stand By Me"...A favoite of my son, Chris. This story is a "work in progress." I hope one day that it will be published!
RANCONTEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE AWARD on March 7, l998!!
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