i got nothing agaisnt blonde, they can be good:) but come on some of these jokes are funny
Q: What do you call a blonde after a party? A: A box full of assorted creames.
Q: What does a blonde do after sex? A: She opens the car door.
Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: They make great ankle warmers.
Q: How does a blonde have safe sex? A: She locks the car door!
A blonde and a redhead are in an elevator with a fine looking gentleman when
the redhead notices he has dandruff. Redhead: "He could use some Head &
Shoulders" Blonde: "How do you give shoulders?"
Q: What do blondes and railroads have in common? A: They both get laid.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store? A: They are both 10� a screw!
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and The Titanic?
A: They know how many men went down on The Titanic.
Q:What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?A:The more you bang it the looser it gets. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel? A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"? A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, Any-cock'll-doooo.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone? A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men. A: Their heels.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? A: Thanks for the refill
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? A: Data transfer.
Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? A: Air Pockets
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q:How can you tell if another blondes been using the computer? A:There's writing on the whiteout.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q:What did the blonde think of the new computer? A:She didnt like it because she couldn't get mtv
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager.
Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? A: One that never misses a period.
Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did
with her pencil.
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name
tag) ? A: Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first
room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and
went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second
room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He
wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN
SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third
room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote
this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across
the street.
Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? A: She has a checkbook.
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette ...? A: A bleach-blonde doing cartwheels.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job.
Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes? A: They're doing research on black holes.
Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots.
Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
Q: What do you call four blondes at an intersection? A: Eternity!
Q: How can you tell which bicycle belongs to a blonde? A: It's the one with the training wheels!
Q: Why was there lipstick on the steering wheel? A: A blonde was trying to blow the horn.
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving.
The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the
police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the
window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the
road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!"
The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an "F" in sex.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that
said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned
around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN
RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee
The Unites States government has issued a recall on all cars and trucks that
have a headlight dimmer switch on the turn signal switch. The purpose for
this is to cut the traffic accidents at night by 90%. Apparently that the
90% that they plan to cut is from blondes, because they keep getting their
foot stuck in the steering wheel. Submitted by: Randy Hutton
Q: Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back
seat.
Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?A:They are both empty from the neck up.
A blonde walks into a library and exclaims "I want a big mac, fries, and a
coke!". The librarian looks at her and says "Ma'am this is a library." The
blonde replies in a whisper "I would like a big mac, fries, and a coke."
Q: Why did the blonde go on the roof? A: The bartender said "Drinks on the house".
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A wine cellar.
Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for french fries.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: Oh look! Donut seeds!
Q: Why don't blondes breast feed? A: Because they always burn their nipples.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.
Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan? A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.
Q: Why do some blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks.
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender: "What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
Q:How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?A:She gets the pop tarts out the toaster in one piece.
Q: What is the difference between blondes and peanut butter?
A: Peanut butter is a pleasure the spread on bread and a blonde spreads for
pleasure on a bed.
A blonde decided she wanted to go ice fishing. So she packed up her gear and
found herself a good spot on the ice. Suddenly she heard a voice!
"You can't fish there".
So she moved further down the ice. She heard "There either."
"Is that you God?" she exclaimed.
"No, the ice rink manager!"
Two blondes were standing on either side of a river. One blonde calls out
"How do I get to the other side?" The other blonde exclaims "You ARE on the
other side!"
Q:What do blondes and turtles have in common? A:When they are on their backs they are screwed.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: The mosquito stops sucking after you smack it.
Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing? A: She was run over by the zambonis machine
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying
overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The
blonde says,
1. "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the
face!!!"
2. "Good thing that cows don't fly."
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a
blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated
about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to
shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten
miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I
guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve."
So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the
brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15
miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd
better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles,
NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said,
"I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says
suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? A: She missed the Earth!
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said
"Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't
deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep
arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been sighted.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she
met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to
pass a test."
ok anyways at the moment i am listening to the devil went down to georgia and i bet you couldnt give a shit! but i dont care cuz this my page, one day you will get your own page and talk about meatloaf or some thing like that:P anyways if oyu got any new or better blonde jokes or any jokes ethier put them in my guest book or email then to bushido111 and if its good enough i will slap them on my site well later ninjas