Here's a list of things to look for when getting involved with a man
(a)-over jealous
(b)-accusations
(c)-asking your whereabouts
(d)-seclusion
(e)-calling you out your name
(f)-separation from your children
(g)-gets mad easily
#1 question to ask a man you are involved with is:
(1)-*If you and your partner got into an argument and she hit you, how would you deal with it?
(2)-Do you believe in compromising on different situations with you partner?
(3)-Do you believe in excepting your partner for the way they are? (ex. dress,talk, socialize with others)
You may be going through hard times and may be a little afraid, but that's alright. GOD will be by your side, for you and your children. Please do not stay in a bad situation that may cost you your life and take you away from your children. Your life is more precious to GOD and it should be precious to you also, more than that man that's beaten on you.
Don't try to take a situation like this in your own hands because all the anger you have in you one day may come out surprisingly and you kill that man, guess who will be doing the time?, Is it worth losing your freedom and children for someone who doesn't appreciate you? I learned the hard way because I almost lost the use of my legs and that is what made me get away from my abuser. Being scared enough to leave, Being strong enough to say you're not gonna take anymore.
Being abused can leave you scarred for life and some women never recover. It can leave your children scarred emotionally, I know I have a child like that. I have accomplished so much in the last 4 years and I am proud of myself. I want to live to see my children grow up and have a life of their own, and when it's time for me to leave this earth it will be by GOD's hand, not man.
Here's a few things you can do to get to a safe haven:
1-If he works, take that chance to call safe horizon or go to family court and ask for help, go to a shelter or someone you know who will help and not tell him where you're at.
2-Get a court order of Protection. Don't be afraid, it will help you in the long run and take someone with you and if you can avoid taking the children then do so.
3-Wherever they send you, go, because space is limited.
4-If you don't work, apply for welfare, and if you do work, then you need to let your employer know that that certain person is not allowed in the building. If he has friends that you know will be allowed in the building make sure that his friends, family are also not allowed to come and speak to you on his behalf.
5-Seek therapy for yourself and for the children so you will be able to talk about how to get over this situation.
6-Take up Parenting classes, Domestic Violence sessions, Women's Group.
7-Start evaluating your life on how it will be, from that point and forever.
8-IMPORTANT: BE ON POINT meaning recognize the things a man say to you and you will know that is an abusive man.
I don't know none of you women, but you are all beautiful inside and out, and us as women as sensative as we are, we don't need anybody else to make us feel any lower. I have gained alot of knowledge and and strength from the information I have just shared with you and if you need someone to talk to please feel free to contact me through my e-mail:
[email protected]
LITTLE HISTORY ON COURT ORDER OF PROTECTION
Back in the 70's and even the 80's Court Order of Protection were not honored by the police. It didn't have as much power then as it does today. You have to put a lot of work into it but in the long run it's worth it. And there was reason why. Because alot of women would go for a Court Order and would never show up for court, making the Judge and the Police think that the reports are false. Then, you have women that falsify informantion in order to get Court Orders and it's to get an apartment.
Now you must have a Police report to take to Safe Horizon or you will get no Court Order.
The police must respond immediately to Domestic Violence. Too many women have died from Domestic Violence and we, as women need to stand up and be strong in order to break the cycle.
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