-Oscar Wilde
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy."
-Benjamin Franklin
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
-Frank Sinatra
"If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs."
-David Daye
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
-Winston Churchill
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her"
-W.C. Fields
"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink,"
-Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it,"
-Winston Churchill's reply
"Sir, you are drunk,"
-Lady Astor's reply
"Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober, and you will still be ugly."
-Winston Churchill's reply
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
-Catherine Zandonella
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
-Henry Youngman
"It is better to be a well known drunk than an Anonymous Alcoholic"
-Tim Boner
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
-Dave Barry
"I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion."
-Miguel de Cervantes
"You can't drink all day....... Unless you start in the morning"
-Gary Larson
"I'm allergic to grass. Hey, it could be worse. I could be allergic to beer."
-Greg Norman
"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it."
-Anon.
"Well ya see Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers!"
-'Cliff' from the beloved television show "Cheers". "You wanna go where everybody knows your name"