Once upon a time there was a Sardar called Banta Singh. He used to sell caps for a living, and roamed around several villages. One day he would be in Mughalsarai, the other day people would find him in Faizabad.
It was an afternoon in the summer and he was traversing the vast plains when he felt tired and wanted
to have a nap. He found a nice mango tree with lots of branches and cool shade, placed his bag of caps beside him and went to sleep. Tired as he was, he was quickly fast asleep. When he woke up after a
refreshing little nap, he found that there weren't any caps in his bag!
"Oh, Rabba!", he said to himself, "Did the thieves have to find me of all people?" But then he noticed that the mango tree was full of cute monkeys wearing colorful caps!
He yelled at the monkeys and they screamed back.
He made faces at them and found the monkeys to be experts at that.
He threw stones at them and they showered him with raw mangoes.
"He Rabba, how do I get my caps back," he said.
Frustrated, he took off his own cap and slammed it on the ground. And Lo, the stupid monkeys threw
their caps too! Smart Banta didn't waste a second, collected the caps and was on his way.
50 YEARS LATER....
Young Santa, grandson of famous topiwala Banta who was also working hard at making $$$ doing his
amily business, was going through the same jungle.
After a long walk he was very tired and found a nice mango tree with lots of branches and cool shade.
Santa decided to rest a while and very soon was fast asleep. A few hours later, when he woke up, he realised that all the caps from his bag were gone!
Santa started searching for the same and to his
surprise found some monkeys sitting on the mango tree wearing his caps. Santa was frustrated and didn't know what to do. And then he remembered a story his grandfather
proudly used to tell him.
"Yes!!!! I can fool these monkeys!!!", said Santa.
"I'll make them imitate me and very soon I'll get all my caps back!"
Santa waved at the monkeys -- the Monkeys waved at Santa.
Santa blew his nose -- the Monkeys blew their noses.
Santa started dancing -- the Monkeys were also dancing.
Santa pulled his ears -- the Monkeys pulled their ears.
Santa raised his hands -- the Monkeys raised their hands.
Santathrew his cap on the ground ............ .... one of the monkeys jumped down from the tree, walked
up to Santa; slapped him and said,
"Do you think ONLY YOU HAD A GRANDFATHER?????"
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing round the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".
The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5,000". The customer pays and walks outwith his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, "That was a very expensive monkey-most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage. He says to the shopkeeper, "That one's even more expensive, $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."
The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price tag round its neck says $50,000. He gasps to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
"Well," says the shopkeeper, "I don't know if it does anything, but it says it's a Consultant."
What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailor?
A jeweler sells watches whereas a jailor watches cells!
Emma Bowen
Once there were three men, one Irishman, one Englishman and one Welshman, and they went to the desert. The Irishman took a bottle of wine, the Welshman took an umbrella and the Englishman took a car door. There was this man who said he would give them a camel if they told him why they were taking the things they were carrying. The Irishman said, `In case I get thirsty,' the Welshman said, `in case it rains,' and the Englishman said `because if it gets hot I can wind down the window.'
Luke Williamson, via Emma and Alice Bowen
Once there were three men, an Irishman, an Englishman and a Welshman, and they all climbed up to the top of a cliff. At the top they met a man, and the man said `if you can take your watch and drop it down the cliff, catch it again and bring it back up I will give you �500.' The Welshman thought he could do it, so he dropped his watch and ran all the way down to the bottom of the cliff, and he came back up with his watch in pieces. The Irishman thought he could do it as well, so he dropped his watch and jumped down the cliff and came back with his watch intact, but he was on a stretcher. The Englishman thought he could do it as well, so he dropped his watch and walked slowly down the cliff, and he came back up with his watch working. The man said, `how did you do that?' `I set my watch back two hours,' said the Englishman.
Luke Williamson, via Emma Bowen
Can April March?
No, but August May
