Run Verdict
- F’d up! (You can interpret the “F” part any way you choose…)
- There was a run?
- Too many arrows!
- Runners were lost!
- Walkers ended up on the run!
- Not nearly enough traffic!
- There were plenty of hills, but none were used!
- Jay-walking!
GM – Big Ears
Hares
Please Finger Me Dirt Track Cowboy. (See I used their names as a sentence…)
Memorial
As mentioned in the opening, Poo gave a sincere and warm memorial in honor of Chris Lewis, former RA. Most of us wore hats (silly or otherwise – envelopes as hats, really?) and we all raised our cans and toasted his memory.
Caterers/Hosts
Dirt Track Cowboy and Angry Pussy prepared a fantastic meal for our enjoyment and they also allowed us to annoy their neighbors with our singing, so big thanks to them! Also, big thanks to W and the State Department for letting us hang on to them a little while longer!
Virgins (Repaired)
Miss Spanky and Vlad have been gone for so long they didn’t even recognize the songs any more!
Visitor
Crag Rat from Bahrain joined us for the evening.
Returner
Gavin returned, I don’t know where from, but I’m glad he’s back because he’s Haring with me this week… Welcome back.
Birthdays
Happy Birthday to these Hashers – celebrating being 21 all over again!
Humpty Dumpty
Perthy Cuter – she wasn’t there, so Perthy Throw Up stood in her stead.
Poo and Bagburn celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary. They had a Hash wedding, they met on the Hash and only Hashers were allowed to attend the event! I wonder, did the RA perform the ceremony?
On on and Many Happy Returns to them all!
Hash Social
Dhow trip on March 5 at The Club followed by buffet at the Bistro, not sprog friendly.
Progressive Dinner on April 4.
Event at Lulu Beach at the end of April. Brat friendly. More info coming.
Brunch at the Millenium, May 9, more info to come.
RA – Perthy Throwup
Maybe we need a new tune for the RA song…RA made the following charges:
Sins
Vlad and Miss Spanky for not recognizing the RA song, even though it was conceded that the lousy singing was a good excuse for being gone so long!
Dirt Track Cowboy for being heard to have said at a prior Hash: “My dogs pull me two ways!”
Itchy Dick for spending time in the hospital with a drip….
IgNobel Awards
RA sought fit for certain Hashers to be awarded under this category along with the actual winners:
The peace laureate: Lal Bihari won for the “triple accomplishment…of being dead, waging a lively posthumous campaign against bureaucratic inertia and greedy relatives…and for creating the Association of Dead People.”
The medicine prize went to a team from University College London for discovering that London cabbies have bigger brains than the rest of us as a result of doing “the knowledge.”
The physics prize when to a group of Australian scientists for a report entitled, “An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces.” Ahem.
The biology prize went to Dr. Kees Moeliker, of Rotterdam’s natural history museum, for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck. You gotta ask, who did this research??
In honor of the biology prize going to a Dutchman, RA bestowed a similar prize on Pashmina, Georg with One E, Whiplash and Prancer for being nearly Dutch. Well done!
RA Abuse
How Much, Wendy, Ballbreaker, Miss Spanky, Vlad and Hash Crash for walking off and leaving RA on his own. Big Ears was also called in for this, but bollocks’d the charge. (Does that sound dirty??)
Front Running Bastards
Viagra Baby, Itchy Dick, and Georg with One E, for not only being FRBs, but for needing their language skills tested: Repeat after me, “On….On…”
More Sins
Hash Crash apparently got married two weeks ago…but where is hubby? Fingers crossed he’s not in the freezer!
Whiplash for being on the phone (!) and for being heard to say, “Gentlemen, I’ve got a chest like a smock!”
Poo for abuse of the Cat in the Hat!
Sex on the Hash
Richard (to Debbie): “I’m just slipping something in.”
Debbie – do you remember??
Ballbreaker and Vlad for apparently having a conversation about bra shops in Chester. (heh heh…get it…Chester…Bras….)
Request
Nibbly Bits: can we please have one of the mains for the Progressive Dinner at the Russian hooker’s house? I’m wondering if she’s really that good a cook…
Charges from the Floor
Humpty Dumpty called in the Aussies for forgetting how to play cricket. Tsk, that’s just not cricket…
Dirt Track Cowboy called in Ballbreaker for having the dhow trip on a school night. Ballbreaker refused the charge but Big Ears stood in Ballbreaker’s stead anyway.
The Grub
Thanks to Angry Pussy and Dirt Track Cowboy for providing some of the best chili I’ve had in a long time! The beer bread was a big hit too….so glad you guys are staying longer!
PLEASE:
· let us know if you are planning to bring a virgin along
· clean up after yourself at the on-back
· please shut up during hash circle!
If you haven’t hared any runs or hosted the Down-Downs, Teaboy, Georg with One E and Wet Willy would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns:
Teaboy [email protected] 050 626 1452
Georg with One E [email protected] 050 667 0357
Wet Willy [email protected] 050 667 0359
Classifieds
Franz (Alpine) and Bronwyn (Whiplash) +2 Hash Brats have to vacate their Villa at the beginning of July as they are to be demolished. If anyone has any info on empty Villas (future hash venues) or apartments could they please contact either of us: Alpine on 050235 8352 or Whiplash on 050 235 5864.
Many Thanks,
A future homeless hash family.
Social Dates for your Diary:
Friday 4th April 2008
Progressive Dinner. Details to follow nearer the time
End of April 2008
Lulu Island Event. Details to come.
Friday 9th May 2008
Brunch at Millennium Hotel. Details TBC.
Events for your Diary:
21st to 23rd March 2008
WORLD INTERHASH – Perth
Please see website for details
“Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)
And now for the Hash Crap…I have been given several, a plethora even, of jokes for this document. Here are but two:
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives ...
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
I love the next one!!!
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
The Love Story of Ralph and Edna.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
