FOOTPRINTS
The OFFICIAL organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4
AUH4 Run Number 1569 – Monday 21st July 2008
The 69 Duuude Run
The Event:
So, the Hashers all met at Ooz Ee’s car park on the Corniche for what was possibly the sweatiest run yet. Apparently, there were ‘shrooms and condoms along the route – I wonder if they were planted, or if they just sprung up there….?
The on-back was, well, interesting to say the least. I’ll let the charges tell the story. But, I do want to say thanks for letting me scribe for the last several months. It’s been fun and I will miss trying to come up with witty things to say about all you silly Hashers (this scribe included)!
Oh…and we each got our own little boxes of KFC for grub…it’s finger lickin’ food!
Notes to Hares/Hosts/Caterers:
Please ensure that you provide vegetarian and non-spicy dishes. Our numbers are large enough now that it is important to offer a varied menu in order to make sure everyone has sufficient to eat after the run (a bit of rice or bread doesn’t really cut it…). Many Many Thanks!
Next Week’s Run:
We’ll head waaaaay out to the Mangrove Village area. Map and directions at the back.
Again, for the benefit of future hares, you may like to check out the link below:
www.mapmyrun.com
GM: Big Ears
Hares/Hosts/Caterers:
French Intern and Fairy Lights hared this week’s run, and Pashmina opened her home to us once again, many thanks to you all!
Run Verdict:
· Too many mushrooms!
· Too many condoms!
· Too short! (wait, the run or the condoms?)
Virgins:
Andy joins us from Minnesota, eh. He’s in construction management, he’ll be here for two years, and he’ll be back!
Anders is from Canada by way of Sweden, he’s here on holiday and he won’t be back!
Leavers
Anders – does he get to be a leaver if he’s still a virgin?
Returners
I Really Want One, Perthy, Big Ears, Ballbreaker, Pashmina, Vittamin E and Otter all came back to see us…welcome home, guys.
New Members
Peter, Grunt, On Yer Bike, and several others whose names have been blurred by what can only presumably be gobs of sweat on the page, have joined our group…On on to you all!
Hash Social:
July 31 will be Bistro Night at The Club…it will also serve as a farewell for Never Never, Sheila and Jack Off. Names were taken on July 21.
August 22 will be another brunch.
Progressive Dinner some time during Ramadan…more info to follow.
Al Ain Rehydration Run is in November. We have asked the Mainlanders to run a check point. And apparently this is where the fighting is encouraged?? Hmmm.
July 2-4, 2010 Interhash in Kuching, Malaysia
Perthy came back for a week, and made the following charges:
Heinous Sins
The Yanks and the French (and anyone else who could possibly represent Belgium) were called in due to the take over of the King of Beers by some little company from some little country that clearly knows nothing about “good” beer. We also tried to call “Bev” into the circle, but we don’t have anyone named Bev, which is too bad really because there was a nice punchline about the taste of the beer improving because it’s being brewed (by) InBev…
The Brits were called in because award winning (seriously) artist Martin Creed is at it again. His first installment was ‘sick,’ his next begged the question ‘why?’ and his most recent involves folks doing a runner at the Tate; and apparently, he’s contemplating filming people pooping. I think they should’ve got double down downs for that…
Fairy Lights was brought in for providing laughs and cringes with his camper van slogans..
Bloody Late Arriving Bastards!
Chris and On Yer Bike
Sins from the Run
Ballbreaker and Never Never were heard to say “Fuck a Duck!” instead of actually calling a falsie….
Another Hasher with difficulty calling falsies was none other than one of the hares, French Intern, who when asked what three circles with x-es in them are called, replied, “Back check!” Tsk tsk.
Otter was called in for his graceful somersault – easily a 9.5.
Big Ears was called in for hitting a Smart Car after about six hours of drinking. I guess the car couldn’t have been that smart…or maybe it was the driver…
Sex on the Hash
Tia and Mark were brought in because their rubber burst. Fortunately, there’s a place here that can fix it.
Sports Bra and Shagnasty took one of last week’s virgins to The Club. Apparently there was snogging and said virgin never made it home that night….
Jolly Rogerer was ‘coned’ for talking during the circle. She removed the cone from her head and was promptly called out for doing so. Fortunately, Tia was there for moral support when she said, “No worries, you get more fun if you sit on it!”
Heather was called in for getting changed in the car.
Bloody Nips was called in for looking on lecherously while she did so.
Jack Off was brought in for constantly searching for dates on the Hash.
Goldilocks was brought in for leaving sex objects in RA’s car!
Never Never was heard to say, “Are you coming with me?” to Sheila…not sure why Sheila wasn’t called in too!
Hash Shit
French Intern started the night with it, but it ended up going home with Sheila – it’s his last opportunity to receive the honor, so it was only fair!
Naming(s)
Well, this week, the intent was to bestow a new name upon AJ. He’s been flying below the radar a bit, and it was high time he was shown some Hasher Love.
The following names were suggested: Radar, Overunder, Miss Demeaner, Sex Fiend, Wet Dream, Peter Rabbit, Handcuffs, Social Handgrenade and Marty Feldman. After much deliberation and a very hilarious cock up involving Boston Illegal and some unwitting shouting, we were finally able to bring it down to two names: Wet Dream and Social Handgrenade. But, to make a final judgment, we needed an arbitrator, so Boston Illegal was called in and eventually AJ was officially named: Social Handgrenade. Henceforth and from now on, in all things relating to Hash, AJ will be officially known at Social Handgrenade! On on!
And, after Social Handgrenade was baptized, it was determined that a certain arbitrator needed a new name. Boston Illegal had the great misfortune of shouting out “I like Handcuffs!” while we were trying to determine Social Handgrenade’s name. There are some moments you just can’t let slip, and this was one of them. Henceforth and from now on, in all things relating to Hash, Boston Illegal will now be known as I Like Handcuffs! Heh heh.
“Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)
Notes:
All Hashers:
· Please remember to recycle your cans. There are bags provided specifically for this so it’s not difficult.
· Please let us know if you’re planning to bring a virgin along.
· Please clean up after yourself at the On-back.
· Please shut up during the Circle!
On the Lookout for Hares!
If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted any On-backs, please talk to Teaboy, Vittamin E, and Wet Willy. We all need to take our turns.
Teaboy [email protected] 050 616 1452
Vittamin E [email protected] 050 667 0357
Wet Willy [email protected] 050 667 0359
Check out These Websites!
Many Many thanks to Sheila for doing such a great job with our website and with the photo sites! Great work, mate!
Also, you may want to look for any incriminating photos of yourself (and of course for future blackmail purposes…)
http://www.geocities.com/AUH4/ for our main web page
http://abudhabihash.myphotoalbum.com for the photo album
http://sheilaauh4.multiply.com/ for photos from Interhash 2008 in Perth
Socials:
Some dates for your diary:
31 July 2008
Bistro Night at The Club to say farewell to Sheila Never, Never and Jack Off
(We will take names starting 21 July)
22 August 2008
Brunch
Ramadan 2008
Progressive Dinner
Weekend of 21 November 2008
Al Ain Rehydration Run
2 – 4 July 2010
Interhash, Kuching, Malaysia
For more information regarding any social events, please contact our Hash Socials:
Ballbreaker [email protected] 050 323 6751
Nibbly Bits [email protected] 050 125 1697
Classifieds:
Jack Off is selling the following items (more description and pictures available if interested. Prices negotiable):
· Solid Oak Desk with Hutch, 600Dhs
· IKEA Wooden Bathroom Cabinets (3 pieces), 400dhs for all three
Please call Kristy 050 887 4916 if interested.
Some truly crap “Crap”
BBQ RULES
We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
____
Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
