FOOTPRINTS
The OFFICIAL organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4
AUH4 Run Number 1566 – Monday 30th June 2008
The Security Detail Run
The Event:
Overheard on the radio waves the night of the Hash:
“Embassy Perimeter: check?” “Clear, here, sir…uh, no, wait…we’ve got about 40 crazy-lookin’ half naked westerners milling around. Should we shoot ‘em?” “Do they look suspicious?” “Uh….” “Just follow, em – if they do anything stupid, you are authorized to use lethal force.” “Uh, roger that. We’re on ‘em.”
OK, maybe that wasn’t exactly how it went down, but thankfully, Sheila offered the officers a tasty (non-alcoholic) beverage, so it didn’t have to come to all that.
It was an interesting run…the Hares admitted to being lazy (why didn’t they get down downs for that by the way?) and the rest of the pack had to diligently seek out the trails during the run, but overall it was an interesting evening: especially with the security detail and flashing lights – I kinda felt like I was the lead runner at the Boston Marathon….but, more on Boston later.
The on-back was at the Marine House and featured the always finger lickin’ KFC. Thanks to Bloody Nips, Sheila and the Marines for hosting.
Notes to Hares/Hosts/Caterers:
Please ensure that you provide vegetarian and non-spicy dishes. Our numbers are large enough now that it is important to offer a varied menu in order to make sure everyone has sufficient to eat after the run (a bit of rice or bread doesn’t really cut it…). Many Many Thanks!
Next Week’s Run:
The run will be at Kangaroo Keg’s. Directions and map at the back.
Again, for the benefit of future hares, you may like to check out the link below:
www.mapmyrun.com
To save us all a headache…if you’ve only opened Footprints for directions to next Monday’s Hash, as per every week, they’re AT THE BLOODY BACK
GM: Ooz Ee
Hares/Hosts/Caterers:
Bloody Nips and Sheila hared this week’s run and, along with some very gracious US Marines, provided the yummy grub…many thanks!
Run Verdict:
· Piss poor!
· Too much security!
· Best run since last week!
Virgins:
We had another slew of virgins this week:
Mark from South Africa, he’ll be back.
Tia also from South Africa…she says she’ll be back, but we’re not so sure.
Katrina from Washington, DC, she’ll be back.
Jennifer also from DC, she may be back.
Mikey from Portland, OR, he’ll be back.
Comes with a Dog he’s a tourist hasher, he’ll be back.
Kim from Oz via Brunei, she’ll be back.
Ross with Kim, he’ll be back.
Jade also with Kim, she’ll be back.
Kevin – see above….
Tracey from Canada, he won’t be back next week, but he will be back the week after.
Leavers
Perthy, Whiplash, Hardly Sexy, Vittamin E, Kate, Ooz Ee, Kevin, and Busherwankeroffer are heading off to cooler climes. (I might not see you all again…I will miss you, take good care…)
Returners
These folks decided to come back for a bit: AJ, Paul, Thunder Down Under, Carpet Burns, and How Much: good to see y’all again!
Hash Numbers: 25 Runs!
Hardly Sexy, Itchy Dick, Bushwankeroffer, Bloody Nips, Robert Mugabe, and Whiplash all achieved this milestone and were promptly baptized for it…On on!
Mismanagement: New Hash Committee Member Needed
This wasn’t really discussed last week, but Jack Off is leaving before the end of July, so we will need a new Hash Scribe….any takers????
Hash Social:
July 2-4, 2010 Interhash in Kuching, Malaysia
July 31 will be Bistro Night at The Club…it will also serve as a farewell for Never Never and Sheila. Names will be taken on July 21.
August 22 will be another brunch.
Progressive Dinner some time during Ramadan…more info to follow.
Al Ain Rehydration Run is in November. We have asked the Mainlanders to run a check point. And apparently this is where the fighting is encouraged?? Hmmm.
New Members:
Katrina, Jennifer, Kim, Diana, and Kevin all officially joined our Hash. What were they thinking? On on!
Natterers:
Ooz Ee loves to call in the natterers!
(New) Jennifer and Tia (probably should’ve been in the center the whole night, really!), Carpet Burns and Whiplash, Richard, Hardly Sexy and Diana. Tsk Tsk.
Perthy was back as RA and made the following charges:
Heinous Sins
The Canadians, Never Never, Sheila, Hardly Sexy and Tracey, were brought in for it being their national day, eh. So have some maple syrup, find yourself a mounty and well, be Canadian!
The Kiwis were brought in for creating a vaccine that prevents flatulence in sheep.
AJ, (new) Jennifer and Kevin were brought in for representing Maryland where a 16 year old girl won the Miss Outdoors contest by skinning a muskrat on stage…Um, yay Maryland.
Vittamin E, Dan and Kim with her kids were brought in for representing Switzerland and the discovery by Swiss researchers that cichlid fish like oral sex.
Sins from the Run
Comes with a Dog wore new shoes…and he’s a seasoned hasher!!
Tia…not sure what she did, but apparently she can do a down down like no one’s business…
Shagnasty hitched a ride with the police!
Never Never and Hardly Sexy were on the phone!!!
RA was completely and utterly disgusted with Bloody Nips for asking Hashers to be respectful!!
Steve was brought in for getting a new job and taking Jack Off with him to England!
Mikey was brought in for inappropriate Hash attire – he wore blue jeans and Converse All-Stars!
Kim’s Children were also brought in by the fashion police for showing up to circle in a dress and a hat
Dave, aka pretty boy, wants to be a model and was accepted to AD model school!
Child Abuse
How Much and Carpet Burns were brought in for taking Thunder Down Under to Ireland for holiday…then bringing him back to Abu Dhabi!
Bushwankeroffer (erererer) was brought in for not having his pram with him! Where’s the boy???
Now, the penultimate sins….
Sex on the Hash
Carpet Burns was caught goosing How Much, and hanging on to Dune Basher
Sheila was overheard to say, “Look out, there’s a big, wet hole here!”
Whiplash, not surprisingly, was brought in for saying, “Who’s Titty?” and also, “Once a year is enough!”
Jack Off was brought in for a combined sin of sex on the hash and RA abuse when she said to Perthy, “Are you leaking?”
Hash Shit
Richard finally got to rid himself of the Shit this week, and fittingly, it went to (new) Jennifer for nattering during the ENTIRE circle!!
The Namings:
We had two namings this week…
First up was Richard. We’d talked about naming him a couple weeks ago, and with ample time to let the thought fester, here are some of the ideas thrown out:
Jailbate, Goanna, On Yer Bike, Village Bike, Bangara, Convict, and Chopper….It was a close call, so close in fact that we had to bring Robert Mugabe in to settle it democratically. She chose: On Yer Bike!
Forever and henceforth, in all things relating to Hash, Richard will now be known as On Yer Bike!
Jennifer was next. If ever there was a display of mob mentality on the Hash, this was the time…Shockingly Robert Mugabe was not called in to officiate, but here are some of the names that were tossed around:
Little Red Ridinghood, Robin Redbreast, No Place Pretty, Runaway Jury, Ambulance Chaser, Great White, Storm Chaser, Cyclone Alley, A Good Start, Boston Illegal
Something went down during this part of the night…I don’t even want to write about it. But eventually, and well, somewhat democratically, a name was chosen: Boston Illegal
Forever and henceforth, in all things relating to Hash, Jennifer will now be known as Boston Illegal!
“Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)
Notes:
All Hashers:
· Please remember to recycle your cans. There are bags provided specifically for this so it’s not difficult.
· Please let us know if you’re planning to bring a virgin along.
· Please clean up after yourself at the On-back.
· Please shut up during the Circle!
On the Lookout for Hares!
If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted any On-backs, please talk to Teaboy, Vittamin E, and Wet Willy. We all need to take our turns.
Teaboy [email protected] 050 616 1452
Vittamin E [email protected] 050 667 0357
Wet Willy [email protected] 050 667 0359
Check out These Websites!
Many Many thanks to Sheila for doing such a great job with our website and with the photo sites! Great work, mate!
Also. you may want to look for any incriminating photos of yourself (and of course for future blackmail purposes…)
http://www.geocities.com/AUH4/ for our main web page
http://abudhabihash.myphotoalbum.com for the photo album
http://sheilaauh4.multiply.com/ for photos from Interhash 2008 in Perth
Socials:
Some dates for your diary:
31 July 2008
Bistro Night at The Club to say farewell to Sheila and Never Never
(We will take names starting 21 July)
22 August 2008
Brunch
Ramadan 2008
Progressive Dinner
Weekend of 21 November 2008
Al Ain Rehydration Run
2 – 4 July 2010
Interhash, Kuching, Malaysia
Classifieds:
Jack Off is selling the following items (more description and pictures available if interested. Prices somewhat negotiable):
· 2008 GMC Acadia. Registered December 2007, ~8,000km, fully loaded, 148,000Dhs
· Solid Oak Desk with Hutch, 600Dhs
· Two IKEA Wardrobes (sold as a set), 600Dhs
· IKEA Bookshelves, One tall skinny, one short wide, 250dhs each or 400dhs for both
· IKEA Wooden Bathroom Cabinets (3 pieces), 400dhs for all three
· Westpoint Fridge/Freezer, ask me about price
· Urania 5-ring cooker, ask me about price
· Small Whirlpool Microwave, ask me about price
· Outdoor Grill (briquettes only), free to good home
· Houseplants, free to good home
Please call Kristy 050 887 4916 if interested.
Some truly crap “Crap”
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?’
He says, 'Yes, just caffeine.'
'Have you ever been in the service?'
'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'
The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?'
The guy says, 'Yes...an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'
The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM, every day.'
The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?
'This is a government job,' the interviewer says, 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into Central London . Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What Happened, what's the hold up?'
'Terrorists have kidnapped Gordon Brown, Jacqui Smith and Alistair Darling.
They are asking for a £ 10 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.'
The driver asks, 'On average, how much is everyone giving?'
'About a gallon'
The Sales Pitch
"Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them."
Hellloooo...........just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that 'in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!' Helllooooo? It's been a year, I told him."
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. Guess I won that stupid argument.
I bet he felt like an idiot.
AUH4 Run Number 1567
Monday 7th July 2008
Start Time: 1800 Hours
Hares: Sports Bra for a Girl and Peter
Location: Kangaroo Keg/Perthy/Bushwankeroffer’s Place
Near Immigration Bridge
On-back: Same Place.
Jack Off
050 887 4916
