FOOTPRINTS

 

The OFFICIAL organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4

 

AUH4 Run Number 1565 – Monday 23^rd June 2008

The Lost Run

 

The Event:

This week the Hashers met at Prancer’s for what turned out to be a confusing run but a lot of fun because we ended up along the New Corniche. Since Ooz Ee was probably the only one who didn’t take a shortcut, we were all back at Prancer’s in half an hour.

 

The on-back featured lots of Lebanese food where many were spotted enjoying large improvised Lebanese burritos.

 

Notes to Hares/Hosts/Caterers:

Please ensure that you provide vegetarian and non-spicy dishes. Our numbers are large enough now that it is important to offer a varied menu in order to make sure everyone has sufficient to eat after the run (a bit of rice or bread doesn’t really cut it…). Many Many Thanks!

 

Next Week’s Run:

The run will be at the U.S. Embassy—if you are planning to come, submit your name in advance to Big Ears or Bloody Nips, and bring your passports! Map and directions at the back. Hares are Sheila and Bloody Nips.

 

Again, for the benefit of future hares, you may like to check out the link below:

www.mapmyrun.com

 

To save us all a headache…if you’ve only opened Footprints for directions to next Monday’s Hash, as per every week, they’re AT THE BLOODY BACK

GM: Big Ears

 

Hares/Hosts/Caterers:

Prancer hared this week’s run and provided the yummy grub…many thanks!

 

Run Verdict:

·         Too short for the short-cutters!

·         Too long for those who got lost!

·         Not enough sand!

 

Virgins:

Keiran from London is here on holiday, and he will run again.

Joseph from Cameroon/Belgium is here teaching, and he’s staying for a while.

Caroline aka Caz (aka Lady Godiva) is from Australia, we’re not sure what she’s doing here (sex instructor?) but she’ll be here for two years.

Phil (aka Elephant Leg) is here with Lady Godiva (and not the other way around) and also happens to be a road engineer.

Paul from London/Pakistan on holiday, he’ll be back.

 

Leavers

Truffles, Nibbly Bits, Prancer and Ballbreaker are leaving us for the summer but will be back…we’ll still miss you.

 

Hash Haberdasher

She has shirts and needs to leave them with someone…if you can take them, please let Bagbum know. (Has this been handled? Can someone please let me know? Thanks)

 

Hash Birthday

Sports Bra For a Girl is another year older.

 

Mismanagement: Hash Committee Members

Jennifer, CJ and Truffles have all volunteered to serve.

 

Hash Social:

July 2-4, 2010 Interhash in Kuching, Malaysia…fees go up after June 30 so sign up now.

July 31 will be Bistro Night at The Club…it will also serve as a farewell for Never Never and Sheila. Names will be taken on July 21.

August 22 will be another brunch.

Progressive Dinner some time during Ramadan…more info to follow.

Al Ain Rehydration Run is in November. We have asked the Mainlanders to run a check point. And apparently this is where the fighting is encouraged?? Hmmm.

 

Perthy was back as RA and made the following charges:

 

Heinous Sins

Prancer was called in for New Zealand where cheaters use students as dummy passengers in HOV lanes; Kevin for a Washington state mother who wants to remove “sexual” books from the shelves; and Vittamin E for naked dancing senior citizens in an Austrian reinterpretation of the classic Verdi opera “A Masked Ball”.

 

Lucy, Shagnasty, Diane and Dave were called in for being BLABS—Bloody Late-Arriving Bastards.

 

Jolly Rogerer is reformed because she had two glasses of fizz at brunch instead of four; Prancer was seen at Captain’s Arms with the teachers; Dave was hurtling benches like he was preparing for the Olympics; and Ballbreaker stepped all over the pretty petunias while shortcutting.

 

Sex on the Hash

Nibbly Bits, Big Ears, Robert Mugabe, Richard and Keiran were called in for a variety of offenses, most of them related to the Hash Brunch last Friday--from vomiting to nipple-gazing to looking at Big Ears’ erection.

 

Child Abuse and Other Sins

Never Never was brought in for child abuse for not allowing Olivia to have something she wanted.

 

Shagnasty tipped a taxi driver 900 dirhams, Caroline wore yellow, Robert Mugabe brought Caroline in yellow, Richard didn’t bring the Hash Shit, and Keiran wore yellow.

 

Mae and Prancer were given down downs for wearing hats, and on top of that (so to speak), Prancer’s hat was yellow.

 

Keiran and Sheila committed the gravest of all sins—they fell asleep at a bar.

 

Hash Shit

Richard didn’t wear the shit this week—something about leaving it out to dry—so we wait with bated breath until next week.

 

“Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."

Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)

 

 

Notes:

 

All Hashers:

·         Please remember to recycle your cans. There are bags provided specifically for this so it’s not difficult.

·         Please let us know if you’re planning to bring a virgin along.

·         Please clean up after yourself at the On-back.

·         Please shut up during the Circle!

 

On the Lookout for Hares!

If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted any On-backs, please talk to Teaboy, Vittamin E, and Wet Willy. We all need to take our turns.

Teaboy                        [email protected]                       050 616 1452

Vittamin E                    [email protected]                               050 667 0357

Wet Willy                     [email protected]                          050 667 0359

 

Check out These Websites!

Many Many thanks to Sheila for doing such a great job with our website and with the photo sites! Great work, mate!

Also. you may want to look for any incriminating photos of yourself (and of course for future blackmail purposes…)

 

http://www.geocities.com/AUH4/                                for our main web page

http://abudhabihash.myphotoalbum.com                   for the photo album

http://sheilaauh4.multiply.com/                                   for photos from Interhash 2008 in Perth

 

Socials:

Some dates for your diary:

 

31 July 2008

Bistro Night at The Club to say farewell to Sheila and Never Never

(We will take names starting 21 July)

 

22 August 2008

Brunch

For more information regarding any social events, please contact our Hash Socials: Ballbreaker    [email protected]   050 323 6751 Nibbly Bits     [email protected]  050 125 1697

 

Ramadan 2008

Progressive Dinner

 

Weekend of 21 November 2008

Al Ain Rehydration Run

 

2 – 4 July 2010

Interhash, Kuching, Malaysia

Some truly crap “Crap”

 

Smart Ass Answers

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied'

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #4 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #3 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #2 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'

 

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 -- A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

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TWO BONUS EXTRAS:

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?' The clerk says, 'What denomination?' The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.

 

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect. He never heard the shot....