FOOTPRINTS

 

The OFFICIAL organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4

 

AUH4 Run Number 1564 – Monday 16^th June 2008

The Never Ending or “Spot the Virgin” Run

 

The Event:

This week the Hashers met up at the Port Port…I mean, the Meena Port (ahem) for what we were sure would be a nice easy summertime run…boy, were we misinformed! I had no idea how much soft sand was out there, and I’m pretty sure we trekked over nearly every square inch of it.

 

Aside from all the soft sand, I think the most amazing thing about this week’s run was the number of virgins…10 in all. Amazing. Thankfully, we ended the run with as many as we started with, so we didn’t lose any this time…

 

The on-back was a few yards further in from where we originally parked at the Port and we enjoyed copious amounts of Dominoes pizza…yummy!

 

Notes to Hares/Hosts/Caterers:

Please ensure that you provide vegetarian and non-spicy dishes. Our numbers are large enough now that it is important to offer a varied menu in order to make sure everyone has sufficient to eat after the run (a bit of rice or bread doesn’t really cut it…). Many Many Thanks!

 

Next Week’s Run:

Tomorrow’s run will be at Prancer’s. Map and directions at the back.

 

Again, for the benefit of future hares, you may like to check out the link below:

www.mapmyrun.com

 

To save us all a headache…if you’ve only opened Footprints for directions to next Monday’s Hash, as per every week, they’re AT THE BLOODY BACK

GM: Big Ears (Ooz Ee, this week)

 

Hares/Hosts/Caterers:

MILF, Truffles, and Ballbreaker hared this week’s run and provided the yummy grub…many thanks!

 

Run Verdict:

·         Shite!

·         Too short!

·         Not enough soft sand!

·         Too hilly!

·         Longest false trails EVER!

·         Lots of green bits…

 

Virgins:

Since we had so many this week, we didn’t really get the gen on each of them, so I’ll just go through the list…

Michael from London, he may run again.

Ian from Scotland, but he whinged a lot about running again, so not sure.

Thomas (aka Bidet Blocker) I don’t know where he’s from and he’ll be back.

James from London, and with a resounding NO! he won’t be back.

Diane from Brisbane, she’ll be back.

Dave from South Africa and he’ll be back.

Kevin from New York (CIA!?!) and he’ll be back.

Wendy from Perth, and no, she probably won’t be back.

Dave from Perth, who’s hashed before 25 years ago, may be back.

Liam from Brisbane, who’s hashed in South Africa, will be back.

Whew.

 

Leavers

MILF is leaving us…she’s going back to England…we’ll miss you!

 

Hash Haberdasher

She has shirts and needs to leave them with someone…if you can take them, please let Bagbum know.

 

Hash Social:

July 31 will be Bistro Night at The Club…it will also serve as a farewell for Never Never and Sheila. Names will be taken on July 21.

Progressive Dinner some time during Ramadan…more info to follow.

Al Ain Rehydration Run is in November. We have asked the Mainlanders to run a check point. And apparently this is where the fighting is encouraged?? Hmmm.

Shagnasty is looking for those who want to get their ‘race’ on to join him for some training vs. some boat-race people. I’m not really sure what was decided other than hashers don’t race, but if you’re interested, contact Shagnasty.

 

Sheila stood in for Perthy as RA and he made the following charges:

 

The night began with many virgins being called in for the heinous sin (charged by Ooz Ee) of not calling On-on! All together now… “On-On”

Next to be called in were the members of Mismanagement, mostly to be identified and also to note that there are many leavers in the near future. (See Important Note at the Back…)

 

Heinous Sins

Sports Bra for a Girl was called in for wearing very pretty fancy new shoes on the Hash. He soon discovered what his new shoes tasted like, and unfortunately, Ballbreaker got a bit of a shoe-beer facial…

Short cutters: Nibbly Bits, Truffles, Poo and three virgins were all called in for short cutting (and Truffles was a Hare!!)

We all went around the circle to see if we each could actually call “on-on.” Seems most of us could, but for good measure Poo, Ooz Ee, Vittamin E, Teaboy and Nibbly Bits were called in for down downs.

 

Sex on the Hash

Kate and Fairly Lights were called in. Kate apparently wanted to suck on Fairy Lights’ nipple.

MILF was called in for being heard to say, “I like mine out cold and flat on their backs!”

And Jack Off was brought in for saying something sexual…though nobody has any idea what it was!

 

Political (In)Correctness

Bidet Blocker was brought in for making fun of old farts by bringing a zimmer frame to a party!

Dune Basher was brought in for being heard to say, “the UAE army doesn’t do any work so I have to do it all for them!”

 

Child Abuse & Other Sins

Robin Hood was brought in (again!) for sending his child into the desert to find sea shells!

Robin Hood was called in for going to see the sea (Uh, what’s on the other side of this sea wall, then?)

Goldilocks was called in for complaining that she couldn’t see the sea at the end of the port.

Since it’s summer, it’s time for the teachers to all bugger off. They were all brought in for down downs: Truffles, Nibbly Bits, Prancer, Ooz Ee, Poo, Bagbum, Kevin, Anita, CJ, and Whiplash

 

Hash Shit

Shagnasty actually wore the shit this week, so he was allowed to get rid of it. There was one clear candidate. This man has been late because he was in jail, and because he had to steal a Pakistani’s bike (two separate occasions) and he also left Shagnasty on his own at the pub crawl. The undisputed winner was Richard. Uh, congrats.

 

“Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."

Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)

 

 

Notes:

 

All Hashers:

·         Please remember to recycle your cans. There are bags provided specifically for this so it’s not difficult.

·         Please let us know if you’re planning to bring a virgin along.

·         Please clean up after yourself at the On-back.

·         Please shut up during the Circle!

 

Mismanagement Recruits Needed!

The following positions are soon to be vacant. If you have interest or desire to help, please see a member of the mismanagement team:

·         Hash Nerd (website manager)

·         Hash Flash (no, not of the trench coat variety…)

·         Hash Cash

 

On the Lookout for Hares!

If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted any On-backs, please talk to Teaboy, Vittamin E, and Wet Willy. We all need to take our turns.

Teaboy                        [email protected]                       050 616 1452

Vittamin E                    [email protected]                               050 667 0357

Wet Willy                     [email protected]                          050 667 0359

 

Check out These Websites!

Many Many thanks to Sheila for doing such a great job with our website and with the photo sites! Great work, mate!

Also. you may want to look for any incriminating photos of yourself (and of course for future blackmail purposes…)

 

http://www.geocities.com/AUH4/                                for our main web page

http://abudhabihash.myphotoalbum.com                   for the photo album

http://sheilaauh4.multiply.com/                                   for photos from Interhash 2008 in Perth

 

Socials:

Some dates for your diary:

 

31 July 2008

Bistro Night at The Club to say farewell to Sheila and Never Never

(We will take names starting 21 July)

For more information regarding any social events, please contact our Hash Socials: Ballbreaker    [email protected]   050 323 6751 Nibbly Bits     [email protected]  050 125 1697

 

Ramadan 2008

Progressive Dinner

 

Weekend of 21 November 2008

Al Ain Rehydration Run

 

2 – 4 July 2010

Interhash, Kuching, Malaysia

Some truly crap “Crap”

 

Paddy met Mick in the street and Mick said: 'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in the future?'

 

'Why?' Paddy asked.

 

'Because' said Mick' All the street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday'

 

Mick said.'Silly buggers - the laughs on them. I wasn't home yesterday!!

 

 

SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW 

 

'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH ONE THOUSAND AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER’

 

 

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Campbeltown, Scotland and you are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.

  

However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. 

And after all, it is only a sign.

 

You may ask, what kind of business would dare post such a sign?.'

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Answer:

 

A Funeral Parlour 

 

God Bless The Jocks