FOOTPRINTS

The OFFICIAL organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4

AUH4 Run Number 1562 – Monday 2nd June 2008
The Lost Hares Run

The Event:
This week the Hashers met near the helipad, but unfortunately we didn’t get a bird’s eye view of the city – though some Hashers did see more of the neighborhood than others did. It all started off so well, all runners headed toward the roundabout, and round and round again, until suddenly half the group went one way and the other half got lost! It was all good though; we met up eventually and had a good trip round near the equestrian center and the British School. I even saw a mosque and was looking to ask Big Ears if we were on the east side of it or not….I never did find out.

The on-back was held at Perthy/Kangaroo Keg/Bushwackeroffer’s places out by Immigration Bridge with a spicy curry treat! Yummy!

Notes to Hares/Hosts/Caterers:
Please ensure that you provide vegetarian and non-spicy dishes. Our numbers are large enough now that it is important to offer a varied menu in order to make sure everyone has sufficient to eat after the run (a bit of rice or bread doesn’t really cut it…). Many Many Thanks!

Next Week’s Run:
We will be running with the Mainland Hash and meeting at the Falcon Club. Directions and info at the back.

To save us all a headache…if you’ve only opened Footprints for directions to next Monday’s Hash, as per every week, they’re AT THE BLOODY BACK

GM: Big Ears

Hares/Hosts/Caterers:
Simon and Kate set the run (so they say…) and Perthy and Kangaroo Keg and Bushwackeroffer opened up their courtyard to our hungry group.

Run Verdict:
• What run?
• Virgin Hares!
• Too much multi-textured marking!
• Lots of off-trailing!
• Brand new running track!

Virgins:
Leeky Willie who joins us from Swansea but he’s hashed in Indonesia. He also gave Hash Scribe a bit of a shock when he called her looking for directions and introduced himself as Leeky Willie (who’s that??). He is also an ex-RA, he’ll be here for three years and he’s in fire protection (see next virgin…)
Burning Bush joins us from Beijing Hash. She’s just passing through and was on the plane seven hours after our run!
Jōb, aka Liz’s brother, joined us from Utah. He was here visiting Liz and he is on his way back to the US now.

Returners:
Bunzilla came back to us for a couple weeks from Beijing Hash.
Liz, Marina, Lucy, and Truffles were also all back from being not here.
Welcome back all.

New Member:
Leeky Willie joined on his first night. I don’t normally report the numbers, but it was determined that he was given Australian poison – 1080 poison that is. There was also an attempt at innuendo-filled charades, but unfortunately, Nibbly Bits just isn’t dirty minded enough…

Birthdays:
Itchy Dick – again.
Dune Basher
Happy Birthday!

Hash Social:
Pink Fizz Brunch on June 20 is Full so if you want to go and haven’t already said so…tough!
July 31 will be Bistro Night at The Club…it will also serve as a farewell for Never Never and Sheila. Names will be taken on July 21.
Progressive Dinner some time during Ramadan…more info to follow.

Hash Social Continued (lots to cover this week….):
Charges (non-RA) from the Treasure Hunt:
Big Ears (again with multiple charges): 1st – he was heard to say (while looking at a photo of PJ’s): “There’s no Irish pub in Abu Dhabi!” 2nd – Apparently he did a terrific (horrendous?) version of Hey Jude during karaoke…and apparently, it turned into a threesome when Bloody Nips and Itchy Dick decided to back him up…ahem.
Simon (who swears he’s not gay even though we all know he is from Brighton…) was charged with losing his partners…again.
Fairy Lights and Jan were charged with being cheaters and having inside info!
Leith was charged for taking a taxi to the venues, even though they were only ten minutes apart at most….
Prancer and Kate were done for dancing!
Bloody Nips was charged with kissing too much and trying to cheat while doing it!
The overall winner of the night was Leith…even though her partner wasn’t a Hasher…we still let her have the champers. Well done!

RA is Perthy Throw Up and he made the following charges:

All the teachers were called in: Liz, Anita, Nibbly Bits, Leith, Marina, Ooz Ee, Maurice, Prancer, CJ, Truffles, Poo and Jack Off. I didn’t actually hear why but it had something to do with Florida. It’s always Florida, isn’t it?

The West Australians were called in because it was Foundation Day (I don’t know what that is either – hey, I’m American, I’m not supposed to know anything about any other countries…). So, How Much, Fairy Lights, Jan, CJ, Thunder Down Under and Perthy all enjoyed a down down…and there was something about a chair sniffer…

Heinous Sins
Burning Bush and Bunzilla were done for running to the Hash! Tsk Tsk!
Leeky Willie for taking off his shoes and desecrating Abu Dhabi land with sand from Dubai!
Lucy (who was wearing Sports Bra for a Girl’s sports bra) for attempted suicide by running out in front of a taxi!

Sex on the Hash
Bloody Nips and Nibbly Bits for being the first to leave the Hash site and the last to arrive at the On-back!
Jack Off for saying: “I’m sucking, but I’m not getting anything!”
Anita because she likes to do it all herself.
Marina for saying:” One year ago today was my first time.”
Dune Basher because it takes too long to get his loins going!

Other Sins
Poo and Bagbum were called in because Bagbum paid Hash Cash, but Poo took the change – very cheap!
Simon was done for not revealing his real Hash name, which is: Shagnasty! Henceforth in Footprints Simon will be forever referred to as Shagnasty!
Theresa was called in for stating the obvious when she said, “We’re all mad!”
Robin Hood was called in for child abuse when he let Little John cross the road on his own!

Ballbreaker, Jennifer, Jack Off, Anita, Kate, Nibbly Bits, Liz, Kim, Lucy and Burning Bush were all called in for being members of the Ponytail Brigade….

Charges from the Floor
Ballbreaker charged Jennifer with going to see Big Ears’ erection and Ballbreaker knew nothing about it! It’s a good thing Jennifer brought her mother along too!
Ballbreaker was charged for asking the concubine (that’s Jennifer…) if she liked it!

Hash Shit
The Shit was thrown in the center – Kim wore the Shit with pride (and a plugged nose) throughout the run – and there was not even a doubt in anyone’s mind who would get the Shit this night….and the winner was….Shagnasty!

Naming
Jan. Poor Jan. Jan was spotted dancing during the treasure hunt. She danced so well that several Hashers decided she should be named, and the name in mind was “African Queen.” We were left to mull this over throughout the circle and at the end several names were offered up along with African Queen: Lady of Leisure, Lady of Pleasure, On Your Back, Shakazulu, AfterPerth, Jumeirah Jan, (and this is where things took a turn for the worse…) Dark Continent, White Man’s Burden, and the late entrant Robert Mugabe. Even if you weren’t there, I bet you can guess the winner….Henceforth and Forever in anything Hash-related, Jan will now be known as…Robert Mugabe.



“Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)



Notes:
Lost Property
• Pashmina found a blue towel and a red hat…please collect these!

All Hashers:
• Please remember to recycle your cans. There are bags provided specifically for this so it’s not difficult.
• Please let us know if you’re planning to bring a virgin along
• Please clean up after yourself at the On-back
• Please shut up during the Circle!

On the Lookout for Hares!
If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted any On-backs, please talk to Teaboy, Vittamin E, and Wet Willy. We all need to take our turns.
Teaboy [email protected] 050 616 2452
Vittamin E [email protected] 050 667 0357
Wet Willy [email protected] 050 667 0359

Check out These Websites!
Many Many thanks to Sheila for doing such a great job with our website and with the photo sites! Great work, mate!
Also. you may want to look for any incriminating photos of yourself (and of course for future blackmail purposes…)

http://www.geocities.com/AUH4/ for our main web page
http://abudhabihash.myphotoalbum.com for the photo album

Check out http://sheilaauh4.multiply.com/ for photos from Interhash 2008 in Perth

Socials:
Some dates for your diary:

20 June 2008
Pink Fizz Brunch at the Intercon – It’s full.

31 July 2008
Bistro Night at The Club to say farewell to Sheila and Never Never
(We will take names starting 21 July)

Ramadan 2008
Progressive Dinner

Weekend of 21 November 2008
Al Ain Rehydration Run

2 – 4 July 2010
Interhash, Kuching, Malaysia
SOME POLITICALLY INCORRECT HUMOUR

Signs

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business"

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

AUH4 Run Number 1563
Monday 9 June 2008


Start Time: 1800 Hours

Hares: Mainland Hash & Whiplash

Location: Falcon Club

On-back: Same Place.

(Map provided simply for future reference, since “next week’s run” was last night)



Jack Off
050 887 4916