The Brak Show - Episode 18
Pepper
Brak's Dad: Look at me, mother. I am reading my
paper.
Brak's Mom: That's nice, dear.
Brak's Dad: Now I'm thinking about what I just
read....okay, time to read some more....huh, isn't that interesting?
Brak's Mom: What's that?
Brak's Dad: The mother ship is making its thousand
year visit to out planet to select..."the lucky one."
Brak: "The lucky one?" What are they
going to to with the lucky one, dad?
Brak's Dad: Well I assume they're going to take
him away and make him their king or emperor or something. Why else would they
go through all the trouble?
Brak: Wow! Who do you think they're going to pick?
Brak's Dad: Right here, buddy. Put your eyes on
the prize.
Brak's Mom: Oh really? And why do you think they're
going to pick you?
Brak's Dad: Well, because I'm super special, Mother.
I'm sure the aliens have equipment to detect super speciality. I mean, they
can fly their fancy spaceships though space, right?
Brak's Mom: Well, how do you know they won't selct
Brak? Or me?
Zorak: Or me. What are you jerks talking about?
Brak: The mother ship.
Zorak: Oh yeah, I heard about that. Pretty lame.
Brak's Dad: Not if you're the one they pick, it
isn't.
Brak: Why do you think they won't pick me, Daddy?
Why?
Brak's Dad: Brak, I love you like a brother, but...you're
crazy, man. They don't pick up people like you. They drop them off.
Brak: Ah, poop.
Brak's Mom: And why wouldn't they pick me?
Brak's Dad: You!? Haha, sorry. You're a woman.
Everyone knows that women are not equipped for golf or space travel. Space is
a vacuum, Buttercup, not a place that needs to be vacuumed.
Brak's Mom: You know what? I hope they DO pick
you!"
Zorak: They're not going to pick any of you losers,
look at ya. Cuz I'm looking at ya, and I'm laughing, bwahahaha!
Brak's Dad: Oh, laugh while you can, you walking
stink wagon!
Zorak: Feh, I hear these mother ships are nothing
more than giant lunch wagons anyway. I bet you fifty bucks you get fed to some
slimy talking worm. hehehe
Brak's Dad: Hohoho, you're scare tactics do not
frighten the lucky one. Do you think my alien brothers would choose a coward
as their new leader? No, because then you'd be going, but you're not, are you?
You're stuck down here with your stink bombs and mustache drawing markers. Remind
me to laugh at your pathetic life from my glorious kingdom in outer space.
Zorak: The name's Zorak, with a "Z,"
the sexiest letter in the alphabet.
Zorak: Come on, Sugar Legs. What do you say we
go fog up some windows?
Pepper: Hmm...that sounds nice, but I really have
a lot to do.
Zorak: Yeah you do. Cuz there's a lot of me to
handle! Rrrruff!
Pepper: Ooh, you dirty little baby.
Zorak: Oh, you think I need a scrubbin'? Come on,
scrub me down.
Pepper: Actually I wouldn't mind getting a bite
to eat.
Zorak: Okay, okay, your play, baby. First we dine,
then you're mine.
Brak's Mom: Oh, it's so wonderful to be in love,
isn't it, darling?
Brak's Dad: Yeah, just don't procreate. You never
know what you're gonna get.
Mother Ship Captain: And now we bid you farewell, but first a question. How long do you generally cook yourselves before you're ready to be eaten by a ship full of very hungry space travelers?
