Do YOU abuse the inanimate objects?
Are YOU an inanimate object abuser?
Do you love the inanimate objects? Do you hold intelligent conversations with inanimate objects? Or do you harm inanimate objects?

Naughty child. Hurting the inanimate objects is wrong. The inanimate objects have done nothing to you.

So... are you a friend of inanimate objects?

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What do you do when you're mad at someone?
 Punch a pillow.
Go out and beat a fuzzy little animal to death with rocks. Hey, it helps)
Talk with my toothbrush until I feel better.
Eat cheese. Because cheese is good.

What would you do with a basket of puppies with huge, watering, brown eyes?
Aww... a widdle puppy. Cute.
I would beat them to death with rocks. I'm not a dog person.
I would talk it over with a bottle cap and decide what to do with them.
They would become my evil brainwashed bacon-eating slaves.

Have you got any friends?
 Yes, plenty of friends.
I don't like people.
Plenty. There's Mr. Alarm clock, and Mr. Kitchen table, and...
The men in white coats are my friends.

You see someone kicking an inanimate object. What do you do?
 Join him. Inanimate objects can't get hurt, can they?
Beat him up, just for the heck of it.
I would introduce him to my friend Mr. Stick
Dude. Must be me.

Ever banged your head against a wall in sheer frustration at the sorrows of life?
 All the time.
No, but I've done it to plenty of other people
No! That might hurt the wall.
I prefer to stick my head in a bucket of jello.

Ever inhaled something illegal?
 Heck, no.
All the time. See that mush? Well, it used to be my brains.
I feel guilty every time I breath in. Poor little air molecules...
Fweee, a penguin!

Are you choosing option number four just because it's funny?
 Insanity isn't funny.
Funny? I'll give you -----ing funny.
No, I have been talking with my computer mouse this entire time.
EGADS, HERE COME THE LLAMAS!

Which leads us to our next question. What do you think of llamas?
 Kinda cute.
-------ing llamas.
Are they inanimate? No? I couldn't care less, then.
I could say that all day. Llama. Llama llama llamallamallama.

What's your favorite word?
 'Friend'
[word censored]
'Inanimate'
'Crispy Llama.' Wait, that's two words.

Do you need psycological help?
 I am a perfectly normal human wormbaby, thankyouverymuch.
------ing psychiatrists. Think they know everything.
Mrs. Lamp says I'm fine just the way I am.
THEY'RE BLUE! COMING OUT OF THE WALLS, GREAT BIG BLUE THINGS!

Do you fear the Sponge?
 You're really scaring me now.
I don't fear the ------ing sponge. I don't fear anyone.
The Sponge is my friend
Yes. I fear the flower-patterned sponge.

You're hungry. What do you eat?
 Food. Duh.
--------ing scraps off the street.
I can't bear to eat anything any more. I keep on thinking about the poor inanimate objects that are getting hurt. I'm a breatharian.
Taquitos. And a clown with no head.

Is cussing wrong?
 Of course.
No, it's -------ing not, you ---------ing -------!
It's ok, but not in the presence of impressionable young inanimate objects.
Ow, I just pushed that thing right through my finger...

What's your favorite type of tupperware?
 Wow. You scare me.
I don't need no ----------ing tupperware.
Not to hurt any feelings, but I like the little jars you can put carrot sticks in. They're so cute!
I appreciate the sock monkey.

What's your motto?
 "Is this quiz over yet?"
[censored]
"Be kind to inanimate objects and look both ways before crossing the street"
"You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because the voices in my head tell me to."



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