It's right after the end of the second Matrix movie. Neo is in a coma, which is ok because Keanu Reeves actually acts better that way. There is something ominous about the man on the table directly across from him, but naturally, no one but a true Matrix geek understands it. Trinity: I love you, Neo! Now I think I'll have an emotional scene and talk to you even though though there's no earthly way you could hear it. Morpheus: He is the chosen one. No doubt he will magically revived through some inexplicable magical process while I drone on about fate and destiny. Lo and behold, Neo is magically revived. Morpheus babbles for a while about destiny, and you'd have to be really stupid to miss all the biblical references. Trinity: Neo! You're alive! Neo: Wha... oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be acting, right? Ok. Uh, Trinity, let's make love while the other inhabitants of Xion jump up and down to loud music. We find out why the movie got an R-rating Machines: Buzz. Whirr. We're evil. We harvest babies. We're attacking Zion. Click. Fwoom. Agent Smith: I can multiply myself thousands of times, but inexplicably Neo has no more trouble defeating one of me than defeating several million. Allow me to release a metalic prawn into Neo's bellybutton for no apparent reason. Neo: I'm wearing a dress for no apparent reason. French dude: French iz ze mozt wonderful language. Pass ze freedom fries. Morpheus: Has anybody noticed yet that my sunglasses have no earpieces? Phe: I love you, Smeeth! Oracle: I look like an ordinary housewife, but I can see the future. Now I will babble about choices even though everything is obviously controlled by destiny. Link: I am the only comic relief. Therefor, I am doomed. In the meantime, I will stare at meaningless jargon on my computer screen and dance with my sexy wife. Neo magically stops Smith, saves Zion from the machines, and bends spoons armed only with his kung-fu skills and really bad acting ability Farp Taccib Sattagg-Hinkstun is not the chosen one, but she does wonder sometimes about the curiously-shaped scar on her forehead. |
