A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.

The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.

"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"
 

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.

"What are you doing in there?" she asked.

The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

"Why, yes," replied the lady.

"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."

 

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.

 

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when

People are no longer interested? Pupil: A teacher.

 

Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the
time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dad's way faster
than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fastball from the pitcher's mound
and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!"

One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah? Well my dad can shoot an arrow from
his bow and run to the target and hold it up to make sure the arrow hits the
bullseye!"

The last boy said, "Your dads don't even come close to being faster than
mine. My dad's a meter reader, and even though he works every day until
4:00 he gets home at 3:30!"

 

Customer: How much is that duck?
Shopkeeper: Ten dollars
Customer: Okay, could you please send me the bill?
Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but you'll have to take the whole bird

 

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH: Yesterday you said its H to O!

 

 Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and

stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?

Student : Brotherly love

Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot.

Sam : It's a family tradition.

Teacher : What do you mean?

Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.

Teacher : What about your mother?

Sam : She's a woman

 
Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?

Pupil: The moon.

Teacher: Why?

Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but

The sun gives us light only in the daytime when we don't need it.

 
Q: What do you call bears with no ears?
A:  B
 
What were Tarzan's last words?
Who greased the vine!
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