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The company's little snack machine recently made what I feel to be a fatal error - bumping your average bag of chips from $1.00 to $1.10.

This is a dumb, dumb move. It's not even a classic case of sale by volume vs. exclusivity, as an extra dime per bag of goodies does not economical sense make. (Wait, isn't that something Yoda may have emoted in some warped Star Wars universe?)

So okay, let's say you've crammed a 100 bags of chips in there, and by raising the prices a dime you've gained an extra ten bucks in the process. Who in their right mind would buy anything now when you have to carry around a loonie and a dime?

I was born in an era when they still had a Canadian dollar bill. Back then it meant something. There's a different mental state between spending a bill and slotting in coins. A dollar bill meant pulling out your wallet to give over your hard earned allowance. Counting out loose change was seperating the quarters fromt the lint. It seemed less important if not a tad more embarassing - when you've got more lint than change.

A dollar was real money whereas coins were left collecting dust in a jar or a basket. That all went kaput when Canada released the "loonie", making the all mighty dollar just another fountain fodder. It devalued the buck. It became another footnote in the expenditure column. It was no longer valued nor prized as something tangible. What's worse, the eventual arrival of the toonie vaulted over our once beloved single.

When a bag of chips costs a lonely loonie, it wasn't a big deal. It was simple, there was no math involved. It was easy - put in a coin, get a bag of chips, and you'd be on your way to snack nirvana and the fat farm, without waiting for change to fall.

We all hate change. Ladies, you know what I'm talking with your wallet and the poorly designed embedded change purse. You just can't find the right coinage. The zipper is too tight, the pocket doesn't open wide enough. You end up digging in with one finger and risk chipping a nail. When that doesn't work (and when has it really?), you turn your wallet upside down and empty all the coins. It scatters over the countertop every which way. All that just to look for the elusive 1 dime, 2 nickles and 4 pennies combo; instead of giving up the quarter and getting yet another penny back. The line up logjam behind you collectively roll their eyes, but no one says peep because they all somehow grudginly sympathize and think, "Burns, that could've been me."

And fellas, I know you know where I'm coming from. When was the last time overloaded pockets busted a hole in your favorite pair of jeans or slacks while the rest of the pants remain intact? How can we justify getting rid of that favoite pair of faded denims just because the pockets are holely? Yet if we don't, where goes the coins? A man purse? A man change purse? Surely you jest my Neanderthal brethren. We'd finally have to sneak into one of those metrosexual places and get ourselves something that looks worn out but brand new, hoping our mates won't catch us in one of those shops, n'est pas?

The point I'm trying to make is that a $1.10 for a bag of chips is asinine. It's not the extra money. It's that it's no longer easy to get something out of the machine without at least inserting 2 different coin bits. We now need a big and little one to fulfill our snacking needs. The machines were placed to be easily accessible, yet they now make it excruciatingly difficult to actually getting something out. It's like letting you coast through kindergarten to grade 12, letting anything and everything slide, up to the finals of a grade 12 math exam, with a single question on the handout - only to find it's in 24 part with equations they never bothered to teach you. How's that for "up yours"?

It's not all bad of course, I guess in one way you can even say it's good. It keeps the occasional snacker from sinking their hard earned cash into the machine. It keeps the guys who like their current pair of jeans from developing holes due to the returning 90 cents jingling around all day long (because we'd just be lazy and insert a toonie). The ladies love it too, because it keeps their figures from going too far south and lets them indulge that extra dollar-ten towards the local Starducks instead of yet another transfat free, baked-not-fried, non-saturated, low-sodium, just-one-calorie chip in their maw. Remember, caffeine helps burn fat!

But curses, I want that Jalapeno Miss Vickie's. So close, only an inch from my grasp, behind the plexiglass, but man, if only I had a dime.... and it doesn't take pennies. Pisser.

....11:54pm, at work. Hi. posted by losir at 11:20 PM