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Hobbs, Dirty Sanchez (aka 8 Ball, aka Joff), Cashual and I came back from Korean BBQ lunch.

Hobbs had a wicked stomach ache and in his words, "If I fart, it'll be diaherra."

So we're all screaming for Dirty to drive quick. With a Dodge SRT-4 (hopped up Neon), it should have been fast.

All the while Hobbs is moaning and groaning, "I need to unload. Eject my lunch."

Then we hit traffic. Both local as well as traffic in the parking lot. Hobbs goes: "Drop me off at the front."

Dirty does he not drop him off at the front, he drives by the side entrance and the back entrance. In fact, he finds the farthest spot possible, pulls in and shuts off the engine.

We're all cracking up no, cuz Hobbs is bent over, unable to walk. We're saying stuff like:
"Yo, walk on your tippy toes."

"There's a rock on the ground, plug it up!"

"Gawd, don't make me laugh anymore, I can't take it. Oh gawd, I think my underwear's brown."

Then I shouted: "Fifty bucks to the first guy to punch Hobbs in the stomach!"

We all laughed hard. Hobbs went green, then he began sweating, bad.

We walked to the door and then pretended to not have a badge.

He made it up to the upstairs washroom, but barely.

....That was the funnest lunch I've had in years.
posted by losir at 3:49 PM