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These fruit flies are becoming a practice in tedium. I'm so sick of killing them, I almost would rather just let them buzz around.

At first, they were kind of fun to kill simply because I got to experiment with the best method of exterminating them. I thought of myself as an old-style speghetti western gun slinger, bent on cleaning up the dirty town.

As tumbleweeds rolled through my mind, I bore myself a yellow squeegee cloth just slightly wet. The flies love the ceiling, and I would make a game of flicking them dead with my cloth, sparing none. Taking delight when the whap produced a black spat on the ceiling, mildly amused when I missed, having a second go at it.

I got tired of the game fast however, so I began climbing on the toilet seat or counter top to smudge them to death with said yellow squeegee. This was a lot faster, and I rarely missed. However, dragging my lardo carcass up and down made it like a cardio workout, and as the body fat scale don't lie, I'm ~17% body fat. I was at ~14% at one point, but those fried chicken lunches are finally catching up. But I digress.

Then I found another way to kill them if I was taking a shower and they happen to be resting above. I cupped my two hands together and collected a small pool of water, then heaved it violently at the ceiling where my enemies camped. SPLAT went the water, and another one bites the dust.

That progressed to me swatting them by hand, too lazy to grab the cloth. Or on a good day, when I feel extra spunky, I would catch them in my hands as they flew by. When I get oe, I walk over to the tap and turn on the water, drowning them to their watery grave.

But now, I'm just sick of them. Just when I thought I had the upper hand by not seeing any in the last day or two, they bring in re-enforcement. I didn't think that was allowed, but war is never fair, and I don't think the fruit flies are obeying the Gineva Convention anyhow.

....They won't best me, this I swear. posted by losir at 11:16 PM