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Now I know what it feels like to be the Cubs fan who caught the ball.

There I was, at another wedding, with nary a game to embarass the bride and groom in sight. In fact, the sly couple had planned a bunch of games for us, how uncool was that?

So after three quick beers, I thought "Ol' losir better step in and liven up the joint."

And I really felt that I was doing them a favor. Judging by the reaction in the crowd, or rather, their non-reaction, they seemed as bored as watching an opera in a foreign language being sign-languaged -- Which is to say, pretty quiet.

A quick conference with several other members of our little mischievous party, we decided to go with the tried and true game of passing an egg up and down the groom's pant leg. However, since we didn't have an egg, I suggested a very cold bottle of beer. That should get a laugh or two.

However, someone else came up with a better idea. She said to grab hold of the groom's cell phone, put it in vibrating mode, and as i's being passed up and down, have someone call said cell phone so that it would vibrate at the more private areas. Everyone cackled, this was too good to pass up.

So, after a game of questions and answers, we decided the punishment would be thus. First, we got the groom to stand on chairs, then we handed his cell phone to the bride. As I spoke into the mic explaining their punishment, a look of shock and horror appeared on the bride's face. She looked at me, "No, I'm not going to do that!"

Now, she said that quietly and underneath her breath, but by her tone of voice and the forty-five degree eyebrows slanted towards each other, I knew right away that was her final answer.

So the MC said, "Okay, let's change it up, we'll have it go up one sleeve and down the other....."

She struggled for 3 minutes, trying to get it across his back, everyone looked pretty disinterested, and no one really watched.

As I walked back to my chair, disapproving looks shot my way like a laser pen in the dark. I felt so dry, you don't understand.

I mean come on, be a sport. Play some games. We took a vote, it was not that dirty. We didn't feel it compromised the integrity nor the honour of said bride and/or groom. These games are pretty standard fare, even for those who regularily attend church. I mean, if this was a no-no, how was removing the garter from her dress any more tame?

Anyway, I felt so stupid the rest of the night, that I ended up whippping out my Gameboy and wallowed in more alcohol.

....That's the last time I try having fun in public. posted by losir at 12:23 AM