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It's been a rough several days. Gosh, I don't wish this on my worst enemies. (Not that I have any)

With any well written cliche laiden story, we must begin at the beginning. I must warn you that you should be sitting down and not eating, to read on.

It was a bleak and cold Sunday night. After supping at the Toxic One's abode, my stomach started doing the ol' mumble jumble. I was sweating, my hands were clamy, it was a malady I could not shake.

By 10pm, I knew something was seriously wrong. I stumbled into her bathroom, assumed the position on top of the toilet bowl, and vomitted.

I didn't want to. Vomitting is one of my phobias. As a kid, I was so scared of puking, I would cry incessantly when I knew the inevitable was at hand. So too as an adult, I no longer drink enough to upchuck. I know my threshold tolerence to alcohol, and refuses to cross that line.

Anyway, after what I thought had been a freak occurance, I asked her if I could take a quick shower to clean up. Having done so, I felt so much better.

At first, I thought it was the hot dog I had earlier in the day at Costco. I mean, bad food happens all the time at places like that right?

Ms Toxin saw how sick I looked, and asked me to stay the night. I didn't want to, but seeing that I live alone, at least I'll someone to take care of me if I got sick again. So I grudgingly agreed.

Good thing too, because within a half hour of my first session with the toilet bowl, I again felt like food was coming back up. I quickly ran to the washroom, half stumbling, half plodding towards my one true target - the procelain throne.

I'll spare you the gruesome details this time, my disgusted reader(s). Know that your man, losir, did survive another bout; but barely.

Crawling back to the bed for the second time, I knew that this wasn't just a tainted hot dog. Could I be coming down with something much worse? Like gastrointestinal virus, or better known as the "Norwalk virus"?

As soon as that thought hits, I get up, dazed and confused. "Ugh. Not again." Yup. Again.

This time, it's worse. After vomitting, I also have to do a number two; a messy, liquidy number two. (Hey, you chose to read my page.)

I request a wastebasket double layered with plastic bags to be placed by the side of my bed, since by now I knew I'd be using it often, and how.

Every hour, on the hour, I would get up either once to puke, or have another bout of diarrhoea. After 3am, I was so dehydrated, that I would almost black out standing up. The trip from the washroom to the guest room seemed like a lifetime. There were moments where I'd almost not make it back to bed, and only survived through sheer will alone. I gritted my teeth, fixated the bed with my dead stare, and willed myself to not collapse.

This went on until about 7am, when Ms. Toxin finally woke up and drove me to the emergency ward. This is another phobia of mine, the hospital. I hate it there. I have a hard time visiting people at a hospital. You don't know how hard it was for me to be admitted as an emergency patient.

Anyhow, by then I was already on the road to recovery, and after taking some Enfalyte, I was sent home. Actually, that's not 100% true. I was supposed to wait for a doctor to see me, but after sitting there for two hours straight, and falling asleep at the chair, I decided I was good enough to sleep it off at her house.

Which I did. It's now 8:43am Tuesday, and I haven't left her house, nor this bed for long. I'm still debating whether I should go to work today or not. Technically, my dizzy spells have abaited, so I no longer need to vomit. The fact I've had nothing but liquids all day, mean I have no ammunition left for a number two. I think I should be okay, but I'm very hungry, yet I'm too scared to eat anything remotely solid. I haven't even had any congee that Ms. Toxin's grandfather made for me. I don't know if I should.

Oh well, I'm sorry that I've digusted you so for this post. Understand that sometimes, this page really isn't for anybody else but me.

....Between bouts of convulsions, I was thinking of this blog. posted by losir at 8:46 AM