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Dating is a lot like driving. You don't learn how to drive a car in a Porsche. Everybody starts out in either their father's Oldsmobile, or a little Civic/Corolla at the local driver's ed. program. So too is learning how to date. You don't try hitting on the prettiest girl you know right away. You start out with the uglies. Learn how to schmooze and anticipate a woman's whims. Through trial and error, you figure out stuff like remembering important dates will save your life. Heck, remember all the non-important dates toos fellas. Because you never know what's really important to girls.

I mean, that's why we have ugly people in this world! It's God's way of letting us work through the minors, preparing us for a chance at the "Big Show". I can imagine ladies reading this, and getting totoally pissed at me right now. But let's face some truths, how many of you good looking gals out there are totally flattered when a guy at your local hangout put on the slimest/cheesiest moves on you? How about when that seemingly nice guy you gave your number to turns out to be some weirdo stalker who calls you at least once a day? See?? That stuff needs to be taught. A guy has to learn what to say to put you at ease that he's not a loser, and then he has to understand the rythmn of courtship. When to call, when NOT to call, and yes, even when to give up. Most men cannot afford to blow their only one chance at dating a great gal, so in order to be prepared, he must train like an athlete, waiting at his chance to step up and win the game.

Of course, that is not to say that looks are everything. Which is more the reason why all girls, pretty or ugly should be pursued with vigor and gusto. In fact, we should totally not be picky, and get what we can, while we still can! I've said this a gazillian times: Losers can't be Choosers.

This applies to the females too I guess. Why else are there ugly men out there? It's so that you're not alone on a Friday night, with nothing but a bowl of popcorn (extra butter of course), diet Coke (because you're watching your weight), and a well thumbed copy of TV Guide by your side (Sex in the City and Showcase porn highlighted and circled.) Ugly men allows you an excuse to fantasize that, "Yes, I lead a life very much like Ally McBeal!" We ugly men are fine with that role. Trust me. We're just as lonely as you are. Except we're home on a Friday night, wishing we had a girl's number to call up and chat. Maybe we could even get you to laugh at a few corny jokes! As long as you're not repulsed and hang up, we're pretty happy. We men have it bad sometimes, we are so scared of asking a girl out, our bum holes pucker up and our carcinoembryonic antigen (you impressed I know this term? Me too!) build up, and we develop colon cancer.

That's how it starts ladies. So be gentle and give us guys a break. You might not be actively donating to cancer research but just imagine, you're actually saving lives.

....Okay troops, go out there and get a date! posted by losir at 11:40 AM