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[ED: slight update]

Someone enlighten me, but I really don't understand this supposed snubbing of Canada by the United States. Tell me again why it's important?

Look, Canada is a great country, but when it comes to global military might, we are nothing. We are less than nothing. Canada's military powress consists of 3 planes and a rusty tugboat, with a pea shooter of a gun mounted on top. It's pathetic. Why else are they called CF-18s? The C stands for Cheap. You want tanks? We have civilian who drive their SUVs like one. Maybe we can enlist them.

Forget the army for a second. Look at our metro police force. Did you know that there are more news media helicopters flying in our skies than there are police choppers?? What's wrong what that picture? Shouldn't the law have better equipment than a news station? If 680News have their own traffic helicopter, shouldn't the Police have gunships or something? Wait. On second thought, I'm glad the cops don't use helipcopters to chase speeders, I'd be in real trouble. But I digress.

Yes, Dubya thanked countries like Japan and Australia in his speech, which is half a world away. But Japan is rich, we're talking Money with a capital 'M'. They can pledge $10M dollars at the drop of a hat. The Japanese might not be able to fight terrorism with samurai swords and throwing stars, but they can probably buy them out.

The Aussies have alwasy been just a little too loco to be normal. That's what happens when they were bred out of a penal colony. You put those guys on the front line, and rest assured the war would be quickly over. Plus, they have those nasty boomberang things borrowed from the native bushmen. If they can kill hopping kanagroos with them, think of what it'll do to the Telibans in the sparse empty desert?!

Besides, Canada is so dependent on the US of A, we really are the 51st state. They patrol our northern seaways for crying out loud. They have them long range radars from Norad sweeping our skylines in search of ICBM. Hark! We even enjoy their television programs more! Come on, if we're that close to being an American state, who cares? Heck, did Dubya thank Alabama? Of course not, why should he have to thank Canada individually? Also, there is every evidence that Canada unknowingly harbored some of these terrorists. Wouldn't you be mad at your little sister too if she let in the mosquito that gave you malaria?

The President just had 6000 of his people die horribly by the hands of terrorists. He's about to send sons and daughters of America to go fight in a war that could potentially ignite a nuclear holocaust (Pakistan is a nuclear country). He's got more on his mind than to worry about stepping on poor ol' Canada's toes. Get over it.

I mean, what does Canada have to offer in return? Salmon and fresh water. Great. That's something the terrorists fear.... Bottled water and really fresh sushi. Ooooh. Wasabi!

Of course, people also point to the supposed counter-snub of our own PM, who forego a trip to Ground Zero in order to be back in Canada for a party fundraiser that evening. He wasn't being rude, and here's why:

Who protects our PM from assassination? Well, that's the job of the "Canadian Secret Service". Heck, they're so secret, I don't even know their name! I wouldn't let these guys guard my bag of wooden nickels, let alone trust them with my life. Do I have to remind you that the PM at one time got a pie in the face by a protestor? How did he get close enough to do that? A pie isn't exactly an easily concealed weapon. Wouldn't it have been odd for someone to be carrying pie around, for no apparant reason? Then in another incident, during a glad handing session, the PM had to go Jackie Chan on someone's ass because the poor sod was getting a little too personal. He grabbed the guy by the face and gave him the ol' touch of death (Dim Muck) before shoving him back into the crowd. Where were the Canadian Secret Service?! Maybe they were all hiding the whole time. Ah, that why they are called Secret....

I would like to humbly suggest that the reason why the whole of Canada has their panties in a knot over this debacle is because of our Loser Canadian mentality. We can't just accept ourselves for who we are, or be content in the fact we know what we can do. Instead, we must always need approval from our bigger brother, the Yanks. We have to have praise and recognition from our mightier brethren in order to feel we've done good. Bullocks. Think of all the Canadians who called the airlines offering to take in the stranded American travellers into their homes on Nine Eleven. Believe in the ambulance/fire rescue crew(s) that drove 10 hours straight to NYC offering their help. Remember the team of forensic experts who are now down there trying to re-identify bodily remains in order to give grieving family as complete of a corpse as possible. Just think of that morbidly difficult task before you say we're being snubbed.

Okay, so we won't get global recognition from a speech heard by most of the civilized world. That's fine by me. Although I'm only a transplanted Canadian, I still know that I live in a great country, and I'm content in my knowledge that many, many people - especially the Americans who have been touched by our generosity, will remember us for our kindness, our unselfish love for our fellow humans, and our dedication to our neighbours to the south. We may not be the richest country or have enough firepower to bomb them back into Neanderthals , but gosh darn it, we're nice!

So relax, fellow Canucks. There are more people who love us abroad than ever before. One guy's oversight won't change that. Let's stand shoulder to ankle with the guys down south and be proud of our own Maple Leaf, eh?

....It's pretty much what I wrote yesterday before it got deleted by MS. posted by losir at 11:26 AM