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For the last several decades at least (if not centuries), men have been conditioned to respond to the sound of high heels. We invariably conjour up images of sexy long-legged women strolling down the hallway, maybe with a clipboard in hand, but certainly in skirt and stockings; bounching to and fro, shaking her money maker. That and/or the scene in Top Gun, where Maverick and Goose find out for the first time that the girl they were hitting on in the bar the night before was really one of their superiors. Yowza!

I don't know when it started for me, it might have been the crush I had on my Grade 7 teacher, Ms. Gibson. She was only 23, fresh out of teacher's college, and daily babysat a bunch of rowdy, testosterone charged, pubescent 13 year olds. She used to wear heels, and you could hear her clicking down the hallway. Oh boy!!

So today, I'm sitting on the throne doing my business, when I hear click-ity click. For a brief nano-second, my brain kicks into Man Mode, and a dreamy looking blonde cascades through my mind. My neurons quickly died when I realize where I was (the men's room), and that no female would be in there with me....

Okay, I petition that we ban men's shoes that click. From now on, it's a crime for men to wear shoes that make sound, unless you're tap dancing for money.

....if you cross-dress, I guess it's okay to wear pumps. Just hang a sign around your neck saying "Man in disguise."


posted by losir at 7:54 PM