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I realize that it's hard to know if you're a loser or not, (especially when no one seems to want to talk to you....). So I've comprised a checklist, and now you can conveniently use it to confirm that nagging suspicion you're not as cool as you fantasize to be.

__ You generally regard your Friday evenings as laundry night.

__ No one's ever gave you a cool nickname. Heck, you've never even had a crappy nickname, not even "loser".

__ The only phone calls you've gotten in the last 6 months start with: "Hello sir, my name is Frank Anbeans, I represent...." [insert telemarketting scam here]

__ Watching a movie by yourself at the theaters isn't that bad of an idea.

__ The old folks home asks you to stop visiting, because frankly, you're freaking the foggies out.

__ You can't seem to organize a two person volleyball league.

__ The bartender has never bought you a round, even after buying 5 shots in a row.

__ Your name is always followed by exepletives.

__ Watching the grass grow is no longer just a figure of speech.

__ You've said at least once in your life "I've talked to lots of girls before!" (or "guys" if you're female, or you swing that way....)

__ For you, "smiles" are not free at McDonalds.

__ Your idea of a good weekend is starting and finishing your favorite video game in one sitting. (Checkmark twice if the game is Barbie's Playhouse)

__ Your only form of social action is web based message boards.

__ The best conversation you've had all week was when you 'accidently' bumped into that cute girl/guy, and s/he said "Ewww! Get away!"

__ Even your mother doesn't bother to return your call, on Mother's day no less!

__ You've bought yourself a birthday present, then splurged, and got yourself a birthday card too.

__ After he writes you a ticket, you really think the cop mean it when he says "Have a nice day."

__ The only digits you get at the bars always start with 1-900 or 1-976.

__ Even when invited, the Jahovah's Witness don't want to bother coming over.

__ Your grandmother says "I'll call you sometime." But it's been 2 years and still nothing. (No, she doesn't have Alzimers)

__ You actually read this far and mentally checked off more than half of the list.

__ You chuckle nervously at each and every point, because they're hitting a little too close to home.

__ You write stuff like this.

....rats. Foiled again. posted by losir at 4:33 PM