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I'm unsure how I should feel towards my one and only sibling. Sometimes I love him to death, and wish nothing but great things for him, other times, I'd like to pound him into a pulp, because as you know, my hands are registered prohibited weapons.

The thing is, I know he reads this page, so I can't really complain too much (Hi jy1o). Truth be told, there's not too much to rag on about.

We're adults now, no longer as constrained by our age difference as we were when young. Also, my parents no longer outwardly object to us bonding, as I figure I'm not a terrible influence on him anymore.

I guess what I'm trying to write is that I wish he was going back home each time I see him for more than 5 minutes, but will miss him terribly when he does go back to the States.

....Hope you get home safe and sound. Come up and visit more often! posted by losir at 1:32 PM

I don't have an idea about what to write today. As much as I try to start a post, the thought either fizzles out or I decide it's not for public consumption.

At the end of the day, although I seem outwardly street smart, I'm pretty dumb all around. Maybe not "retarded" dumb, but dumb as in the kid who never excelled in school, that no matter how hard I studied, information retention wasn't something I could achieve.

Worse, I realize I know very little about anything. I could wax lyrically about pointless things, like some of the broader strategies of playing Street Fighter II, but even that, I don't know it in-depth enough to be called knowledgeable.

Sad as it is, I have come to accept the fact I'll never be bright. I'll never be one of those guys that seem to know anything. It seems that everything I say or think, I'm proven wrong time and time again.

It's to the point I feel no reason to participate in conversations requiring anything more than the brainpower of an eggplant. I've come to accept it's better to shut up and say nothing, than to add in a few words that are invariably wrong.

I'm entering an age where people treat you more like an annoying sound bite than a real human being. I will now begin my humble phase of not talking so damn much.

....I'd rather be quiet than to be an idiot. posted by losir at 12:37 AM

Sometimes mothers do know best.

Growing up, we've always had Auntie Dorean and her kids over. While I have no idea on how to actually spell her name, I never appreciated just how wonderful of a gentle soul she was.

Granted, her sing-song Grenadian accent has always put me in a trance, reminded today when I almost fell asleep listening to her talk. Her height (she's at least six feet tall) have always scared me a little, and even now, fully grown as an adult, she still towers over me. When she stands next to my own mother who struggles to reach five foot even, it's almost comical in the way they turned out to be good friends.

But friends they are, and the stories they tell, although not humourous in the way a Will Farrel slapschtick is played out, is at least cute and endearing. The way they reminisce about their co-workers tonight proves that people can reverse the signs of aging, if only for the couple hours that they have together. I swear they were transported back to the late 20s or early 30s.

I also met Auntie Dorean's youngest son, Chris. Chris is even taller than her mom, and as nice as a guy could be. He's now fully into adulthood and in Uni, and I swear, it was only a year ago that I piggybacked him from the porch to the kitchen.

Time have flown, and the years of not liking Auntie Dorean's kids have long past. When I finally got a chance to meet and see them, I bulked. I whined to my Mom, hoping to weasel out of meeting them, but she insisted I went. Both my brother and I had no choice.

And I'm so glad we went. It was great to watch my mom and her interact. It was great to see Chris grow up and talk about Uni. English major with a minor in creative writing is no mean feat, at least not in my uneducated eyes. More power to you, dude.

So thanks Mom for making me go, while I sometimes think I'm the smarter of the two, somehow you continually prove me wrong, and I'm glad you wouldn't let me bale out.

....Life is good. posted by losir at 12:21 AM

I bought a table today, I know it doesn't sound exciting to you, but I'm pretty happy about it. As cheesy as it sounds, the table is from ikea, and it has "Love" written in different languages.

It's really just a piece of glass on two saw horses for legs and support. When I first saw the table, it was on 2 black, column pigeon holes. I totally forgot to look for it. I feel a little silly.

But no matter, it looks pretty good, and will be excellent as a work table for my computer.

I might paint the sawhorses into a different colour, as right now, they're unstained pieces of pine. Although it doesn't go with the colour of the room, I might leave it just because the unfinished look is so appealing.

....And so my house is slowly being furnished. posted by losir at 2:16 AM

There are certain people you respect and look up to.

An athlete for some, while others, a relative who's done good for the family. Maybe it's even a pop idol, for whatever reason you decide.

Me? The guy who sweeps the floor at work.

I say that in the bestest way possible - there's zero malice, and no hint whatsoever of sarcasm. I only used that to make it funny.

But seriously now. This guy is whom I want to be if I had the chutzpah. He's a man's man. Sticks to his principle, and shoots from the hip.

The Company told him a sob story about the lack of funds, and wanted to cut his pay by 30%. He resigned the next day, deciding to take him, his company and crew to somewhere else.

The Company came back, and told him that they had found money elsewhere. He told them to shove it.

The Company said there's no way they could find someone to replace him, so if he could stay longer, that would be grand. He gave them 2 months.

They then asked if he would stay for a 15% pay increase. (That's a total of a 45% pay increase from when they originally wanted to cut the money).

He still said no. Now he's found a better place to work for, with enough money that he can "kick their (his employees') butts and they'd still stay."

....Don't play me like a clown. posted by losir at 10:33 PM