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I don't have anything to write about, except my right hand is in severe pain.

I slept on it weird last night and now it's beyond numb. It's just like stupid, "Thud, thud, thud."

....I'm struggling on this post. posted by losir at 1:21 PM

Sigh, working until 2am every night really does suck.

And Mom, sorry you have to read this, but lately, I've been driving like a grade-A A-hole.

I've had several so near misses to hitting cars, which is 100% my fault, I don't know how many more lives I have left. Seriously, it's really a terrible thing.

I drive angry now, like a man on a mission to kill. Not the prettiest of thoughts, I'll admit.

So if you read about me in the papers, don't be surprised.

No, I don't have a death wish - how about an early entry into Heaven?

....Ugh, I hope God doesn't make me do overtime when I get there.... posted by losir at 2:57 AM

One of my greatest faults is that I don't know how to ask for help.

While this is great in a sense that you can assign me a task and never have to worry about me missing deadlines, it also effectively make me a non-team player.

I don't share. Period. If that means my personal life or work environment, yeah.... losir don't play nice.

Today, I was in a meeting when my manager said flat out, "You're the lead on this project, you can get anyone to help you as you see fit. When I say you're the lead, it doesn't mean you have carry it all on your shoulders."

Maybe it's because I don't trust anyone. I don't trust anyone but me to do it right. I'm very uncomfortable with handing it over to someone else. Heck, I hate other people driving on roadtrips because I'd rather be in control of my own fate.

It's scary because this time, I dont' intend to do any "work". I am just going to pass the buck and manage - and it scares me more than you know.

....There're no hidden messages here. posted by losir at 12:04 AM

I often think about the phrase "Keep in touch". Oh okay, I lied, I don't think about it much, until about 5 minutes ago - from a person I don't speak to often, haven't seen in three years, has a husband I hardly know except that he exists and is rather omnipresent in that he hovers around her all the time. Which I guess is okay. Just looks a little insecure, s'all.

Anyway, so how do you respond to "keep in touch"? For me, I take that as "I have nothing else to say to you, goodbye. By the way, the last thing I want you to do is to actually respond to this message, but I'm just trying to be polite. End message."

I'm in no way shape or form hitting on this girl, so you can forget about that! She's a married woman for crying outloud. It's just been so long since I've seen them, I was surprised that we're actually only seperated by about 2 degrees of friendss. Kicker is, I'm seperated 2 degrees by at least 2 different and distinct set of friends.

....Yeah, all Asians know each other, okay?! posted by losir at 2:16 AM

It sucks to live in fear.

It appears that VW MKIVs (1998-2005 Golf/Jetta/New Beetle) all have a flaw. Well it's a feature by VW that's now a huge security headache. Check, here, and here for people that has had it done to them.

I actually only found out about this from a co-worker today, because it happened to him on his driveway.

I park my car outside. No choice. So I expect that sooner or later, it'll happen to me. I'm seriously considering getting myself a blank cylinder kit to remove the lock from my door handle. Worst case scenario when I run out of battery of my remote is to get in through my trunk. Yeah, hecka inconvenience, but better than having your stuff swiped.

I guess really though, it doesn't matter. A brick is just as good as abusing this VW flaw feature.

Still I cleaned out my car tonight, removing everything except for old CDs and whatnot. I even took out my beloved Ding Dong air freshener, because well, it's Ding Dong, and even thieves would love him!

....I'm going to place a bat by my bed and learn to sleep light from now on. posted by losir at 1:58 AM

So for the first time in about 3-4 years, I did a leg workout.

It was sad really. Three lonely guys with nothing to do on a Sunday afternoon decided to work out at the gym.

My legs are hecka sore, but feels pretty good regardless. I am undecided if I can continue working on my legs, as their skinniness is legendary.

....Chicken legs, more like underdeveloped chicken legs. posted by losir at 12:20 AM

One of the few times I'm glad to admit that I was wrong.

Let's start with today.

Today I had no will to live. No will to move, no will to do anything but lay in my bed and sulk. That and waiting for a phone call that never rang.

I was in such a horrid mood, I didn't even have anything to eat. I didn't even refill my half-empty water bottle from the night before. (No, I'm not a half-full kind of guy, apparantly)

So the whole day I'm starving, but I can't even muster the strength to walk down stairs, throw a frozen dinner in the mike, and satisfy my protesting stomach. (Shut up already, the legs ain't moving....)

At eight pee am, Cankles calls and ask what I was up to, I said nudda, and haven't eaten even a cracker all day. She insists I go out for dinner. She even drove to pick me up.

We ended up doing Indian. I used to hate Indian, but in my beyond starved state, I was loving it. I mean, I loved it like I've loved no other foods before. I quaffed it down and smiled for more. Chicken Tikka Masala has never tasted so dang good. Nevar!

We also ordered lamb korma, but they made it with chicken. It was still amazing, then finally the palak paneer. Cheese and spinach was just the perfect combo. Simply awesome.

And I hate to say it, but I used to also hate jerk chicken and roti - but now, I love all that stuff. I love jerk so much, I love the hot sauce, and the ginger beer I always get.

I hate being wrong. But man, I'm glad I am.

....Stomach growling, must heat up some leftovers. posted by losir at 2:35 AM