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From my little brain
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Content is paramount.
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[12/03/2005]
For Bee, who didn't believe I can pull aces almost at will. (You need Windows Movie Player)
[12/02/2005]
Click on the picture below to see my new haircut. I made it as a link because I'm sure the last picture scared a lot of people away.
Okay, do me favor. Before you read this post, go and find the saddest song you know - something that just makes you melancholy as snot, and play it in the background. I'll wait until you find it....
Ready? Okay. Read on. This past month, waking up in the morning for work has been a near insurmountable chore. The skies, no matter how bright, seems dim. The weather, even with these record breaking decent temperatures, chills me to my bones. And no matter how hard I try to forget, in beer, in play, in more beer; frankly, no amount of alcohol can drown my sorrows. As the old Joni Mitchell ditty goes, "....'Cause you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. Paved paradise, put up a parking lot." A truer song that's never been wrote. My heart, such as it was, is now exactly like that - a big chunk of cement, cracked down the middle, hard as a rock, broken as the roads of Toronto. These past few weeks have literally been heck. I feel it in the back of my head, slightly behind my eyes, to the left. A dull aching itch that wants to be scratched, wants to be rubbed, something like only a frontal labotomy could reach. (And yes, surprisingly I know what a frontal labotomy is, what it's for, and how it's actually performed. Odd!) What's worse are the dreams. The horrible dreams, sometimes they're not even related, except all I know is that I wake up in a panicky sweat, shallow breath, drenched sheets, pillows on the floor, like I got into the biggest scrap while I was sleeping. Take for example last night. Although I don't remember what the circumstances were, I dreamed there were a lot of dead bodies, and lots of blood. Oh man, blood, like my infamous nosebleeds. Thing is, I never watch scary movies, so I don't even know why I would dream of the dead. Anyway, I digress. The point is I really, really just wish it was the summer again and I could do it all over. It'd be different you know. It'd be so different. I'd treasure her more. Tend to her. Be with her, but most importantly, love her. I didn't you know - love her this summer. I treated her poorly, barely hung out with her, and when I did, it was more out of habit and convenience rather than a genuine desire to be together. I regret that now, and I don't regret much. As I stare outside from the warmth of my room, I see the snow drifting outside and I wonder if she is okay. She hated the cold. I did too. Yet somehow we were able to keep each other warm. Not now. I still owe her. I still have not made up for it. But by golly, I will put fuel-stabilizer in her if it's the last thing I do! ....Bugger, I miss my bike!
[12/01/2005]
When does a friendly hand on the back become wrong? When the girl complains to her friends about you.
So Cankles told me that the guy in question must have put his hand on her lower-back at least six times during the course of a volleyball game. And while amongst friends I think it may be okay, it's not cool when he isn't doing it to all the other girls. As Cankles complained outloud to Ders, Dashin and me, "I don't see him doing it to [BLANK]!" I replied, "Well maybe because [BLANK] is married...." "Exactly!" She remarked. To which both Dashin and Ders nodded knowingly. "Hmmm." They said in near unison. Kicker is that it's a company league with people you work with day in, day out. The last thing you want to do is to make your co-workers feel uncomfortable. ....I creep me out sometimes.
[11/30/2005]
I forgot to post this when I got a picture of it.
I finally caved in and am going to do some physio on my arm. It's getting so bad my shoulder hurts when I use the mouse at home.
I can still lift weights, that's the odd thing. I mean, sure it hurts, but I'm still bringing it up. Quite frankly though, I'm not doing the weights I used to be doing. I'm about 10-20 lbs off my in-shape weight. So that means I'm still throwing girly reps, instead of the manly stack that my buddy Mr. Brown is doing. Then again, he's about 80lbs heavier than me.... Still, I wish I was a little more motivated in my routines. I'm having a really hard time concentrating at the gym, and my workouts have suffered in tow. Sleeping literally 5-6 hrs a night for the past month hasn't helped. ....My VISA bill came close to $3000!
[11/29/2005]
Things I no longer really do:
- Photography - Use my laptop - Clean my car - Play video games - Mess around with Photoshop (I guess it ties in with 1st point, since I have nothing new to manipulate) - Sleep ....Was going to put down "Care about life", but that's just not true.
[11/28/2005]
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