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So I went to pick up my photos today.

Disappointing. Like I suspected, flash didn't go off half of the time. To top it off, the photolab guy laughed at me, and said they sucked really bad. He then suggested I bring in the camera so he can teach me how to shoot.

....Now where did I put those knitting needles again? posted by losir at 11:22 AM

Since it's 3:47 am local time, and I've yet to fall asleep, I thought of the many sleeping habits of moi throughout the years.

As a wee lad back in HK, I'm ashamed to admit that I had a lot of stuffed animals in my bed. They are not dolls, okay??

For the life of me, I cannot remember which was my favorite, but all would be by my side, in two neat rows - left and right of me respectively. The less favored animals would be on the outer edge. Still, I always felt guilty leaving them out there, because somehow I couldn't give them warmth. I remember sleeping on my back a lot, with my favorite doll (ugh, there's no other good word for that) by my right cheek. Those were good nights.

When I came to Canada, I recall the fetal position a lot. I slept like a shrimp after being broiled. There was a time where I preferred having my head under covers too. Don't know why.

In adolescence I started sleeping with my hands clenched into a ball, tucked in the front of my pajama shorts. Okay, wait. Did I just typed that?? Ho-boy. It's not what you think, so get your mind out of the gutter, you sick-frick! Back on my back, as it were.

Anyway, onwards to older years, where I slept with a pillow between my legs, sideways. It was not a sexual thing (again, I must stress that I'm not some weird self-loving homo).

That graduated to holding the pillow in my arms, squarely sitting on my chest. I did this mainly because it was the warmest way to sleep. My blankets were always thread bare, so didn't provide much protection against the chilly winter months. This was the warmest way possible. Switching between on my back and sides I believe.

Which led me to holding the pillow in my arms, on my side, with the blanket tucked between my legs. Ugh.... Anyway.

When I injured my neck from working out too hard, I began sleeping on my back without a pillow to rest on. I still held one out of habit, but that was it.

Now firm in adulthood, I regret to inform you that I've shed my secondary pillow altogether, but has regain my preference of sleeping on one. However, and I find this highly disturbing, I enjoy lying on my back, with my arms at my side, hands entwined, with fingers laced together, placed on my chest. This posture is most oft found when someone's laid in their casket. Morbid, I know, but that's what I think about a lot every night. Usually right before I drift off into dream land, I think "So this is what it feels like inside the box."

Of course, all bets are off when I can't sleep. I toss and turn between all forms of my sleeping, like a martial artist moving between each stance. I will myself to sleep, trying hard to shut my eyes, and think of nothing but blissful slumber. Too bad, it doesn't often work, as denoted by this message.

....Slumber, to me! posted by losir at 4:03 AM

Can't leave this picture well alone. Cropped bottom and brightened overall picture. I prefer this picture more.

....Still not exactly what I want though. Boo, I've got smelly feet.

posted by losir at 3:30 AM

Here are my very modest photographic goals for the summer.

- picture of shadows
- picture of a reflection
- smiling face
- of the 929 waxed up
- of the car clean
- macro shots of various uninteresting objects made palatable through interesting views
- motorcycle racing
- nature shot, preferrably of water

....that's it. posted by losir at 2:39 AM

As promised to my cousins Yodaslap and ol_navi.

Click picture for imagestation

....Yoda, didn't know it was your birthday. How does it feel to be 901 yrs old?

posted by losir at 1:56 AM

Leafs are down two goals to one. I really hope they'll step it up and start playing hockey, instead of waiting for their teammate to score a goal.

I was saying the other day, I don't even care if the Leafs don't win the cup. They just have to beat the Sens. Heck, I'd even kiss Stoneboy, aka KD, aka Kraft Dinner, aka moron on the lips if that would ensure the Leafs come out on top.

If that's all it took, shoot, throw me some chap stick and pucker up.

....Yes, I detest the Ottawa Senators that much. posted by losir at 9:02 PM

I've been thinking about the washroom space for a long time now, specifically the work washroom.

Please examine Exhibit A:

The points of interest are labelled from 1 to 5. You'll note that stall #5 is the cul-de-sac of the washroom.

I've often wondered just which stall would be least used, and therefore the cleanest of the bunch.

I think about it everyday.

Stall 1 is the handicapped space, as denoted by a larger area than the rest of the stalls. This is okay, but too open. Anyone using the sink to our farthest left, getting the paper towel between the urinals and the sink wall (not shown), to actually having to tinkle or poop walks by you. It is this total lack of privacy which can make one clutch up and do nothing but fart.

Stall #2 is okay, however, it is too close to #1. If 90% of the pooping population avoided stall 1 for the same reason as I, then the lazy folks would invariably dirty up #2. No thank you.

Stall #3 is okay, but it is in the middle of all the stalls and urinals. I mean, if ever a gas attack occured, that would be ground zero. It is here where ALL the bad smells would congregate - that is smell central!. Nothing smells worse than someone else's mess. Pass.

Stall #4 is where I used to reside, and for this, I'll have to talk about why stall #5 is NOT the place to go.

Stall #5 is the furthest away from everything. There's only one other stall to contend with, because the right of #5 is a brick wall. It is also the most private, as only the person deciding to pee at the last urinal would have any contact with your door. Alas, it is this privacy which really makes this stall unattractive.

From the beginning of time, our ancestors have preferred to have done their business in privacy. I'm sure Adam asked Eve to pass him a fig leaf in the bush after they ate the forbidden fruit that very first day. It is our built-in nature to think of pooping as anything but natural. So we hide when we can.

However, the problem with privacy is that people will do anything if they don't think they'll be caught. Picking your nose at a deserted red light, only to have some jack smirk at the bus stop. Throwing litter on the ground when there's a shiny new garbage can three paces away while the garbage truck is down the street. Scratching indiscriminately in places of discreet when no one's watching, only to have security zoom in with their cameras. These things happen.

So too will the guy not care when dropping kids at the pool in stall 5. Because they only have to worry about one neighbour, they tend to dirty up the joint a little more because chances are, the guy who comes in to wash his hands can't see, smell or hear what's going down.

Therefore, stall 5 by far is the ugliest/dirtiest of the bunch, confirmed by yesterday when I opened the door.

A three ring circus of excrement resided inside the bowl, like chocoate frosting rejected at a Jenny Craig buffet. I took one look, and nearly barfed. I thought only elephants and very constipated fat people could lay such a waste to an otherwise sanitary bowl. I was utterly disgusted, as I'm sure you are.

I used to say stall #4 was where I went, but because I work with a bunch of Einstein-incarnates, they must have come to the same conclusion that I did, and all rush to stall #4. If I can think of this, why can't they?

So I'm at a crossroad. I happen to be regular during work hours, and would really like to find a place where I can poop in serene bliss. That's not going to happen, so instead, I do what any sane person would....

I leg it down to the first floor shower area, and use the stall in there. No one's showering in the day time, so I can let them out in all my private glory.

....Hey, would you rather read about my boring life? Me neither!

posted by losir at 7:23 PM

Sorry, I'm so exhausted, words fail to describe my misery.

I had a total of five hours of sleep in the last two days, having to rush a video slideshow presentation from scratch Thursday night in preparation for GrannyT's 90th birthday celebration.

I also took a total of twelve rolls of film that night. They're bound to suck, because I was so sleep-deprived, half of the time, I forgot to turn on the flash, or my hands would shake, or it was out of focus, or it was.... Oh pooh! I don't think I got two good pictures in the whole night.

Anyway, haven't developed them yet. I will send them off tomorrow.

The great thing is that I finally got a chance to wash and wax my bike, and with a roll of 24 still in the camera, I used it all for my bike.

....Spring has arrived, I had my first ride - Love is a wonderful thing. posted by losir at 12:38 AM