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My worst fears are confirmed. I have no photographic talent. None. Not a smidgen of hope. Not a sliver of creativity. Not an ounce of anything really, just a waste of time.

I finally finished off my first row of film from the SLR. My epectation were so-so, I knew not every picture was going to be a gem, but I thought I had at least 2 shots that coulda bee decent. Heck, I even bracketed a couple of compositions.

When I got them back, I was pretty embarassed for myself. To have someone else see these as they developed them. They must have thought "What a total fool. He just wasted $12 developing film that wasn't worth the paper printed on them."

And I feel like one too. I was just telling K-Fluid today that one of my worst fears is the thought of the guy making the pix just laugh, and laugh and laugh.

Well, that's confirmed, I think I'll take up knitting.

....or just sit here and twirl my thumbs, cost a lot less. posted by losir at 2:32 AM

You know it'll only be a matter of time until one day I get so fustrated with stupid people, I'll just monkey hump their leg until they disappear from the face of this earth (or at least out of my way).

So I'm waiting like a good citizen for my parking spot. I see the car start, it's brake light coming on, and their reverse light lighting up. I signal my intention to take that spot, and like a good boy, drive up ahead so that the car can back up without worry.

I wait for the car to be put into D to start my reverse.

At once, another car appears traveling opposite of me, and slows down. The car sees the spot and stops.

I begin to back up, and the car, now at my rear left blind spot, also turns in. I speed up a tick to warn "Um, excuse me, but that appears to be my spot."

The driver sees me, rows down the window, and wave its arm, signaling me to what I have no idea....

The car - a late model Corsica, red with 4 doors, could care less of my intentions, and like a a horse on blinders, continue their parking.

I get out, ready to sock this fricking idiot right between the eyes. As my anger rises to a height not often attained by mere dumbness, I pray to myself "Please let it be a guy, please let it be a guy."

The old lady opens her door, I go "Ma'am, do you not see me signaling for this spot?"

She replies "What? You came from behind me."

"Are you kidding me? You didn't see me signaling the whole time?"

"I didn't see you. I didn't see you."

I was ready to smash her window, I was. I'm hungry, in a rush, over-worked, lacking sleep, under-paid, and never appreciated. Plus, I get dragged into meetings all the time at the last minute unprepared, making me look stupid because I'm the only idiot without a copy of the meeting's agenda. Ready to swear at her, "Witch with a capital B", use dirty, filty words like "Imbecile, ignoramus, and nimcompoop."

But I don't. Instead, my revenge is best served cold. Oh very chilled indeed.

I leave. Parking the car on the opposite side of the mall. I walk back, with my tire pressure guage in hand. I find the vehicle, and decide to let out the air to all of her tires. That'll teach her that seniority doesn't give you the right to be a burden to society.

I bend over, and remove the noozle cap of her front-left tire. I put my pressure guage to the nub, and begin letting out the air. I chuckled inwardly at my wickedness, at how great it will be when she comes back and find her tires flatter than an underdeveloped Asian girl on crack.

I laugh manically in my head. I'm great. I'm the greatest prankster-revenger I know.

Time hisses by, 10 seconds, 20 seconds, and still the tire seem inflated. Four tires? I can't even get one to go down.

I push a little harder, but the hissing doesn't increase, and the tire still appears inflated. "What is wrong with this lady?" I scream to myself. "Does she over inflate her tires too?!"

I stand up, madder than ever, but giving up on the idea of letting the air out of her tire altogether. By the time I get it down, I'll be long arrested by the mall cops.

I walk away in utter disgust, having failed even in that. I curse at my misfortune, hating myself for being such a wuss, for letting even an old lady walk all over me.

As I head back into the mall to get my take out food, I find small comfort in this one fact;

....At least she'll get crummy gas mileage for the next little while. posted by losir at 1:37 PM

Was talking to AquaGirl on yahoo today, when she told me where she's moved to - the heart of gay town.

So I said, when I visit her, I will wear a shirt that says:

"There's nothing queer about being straight."

How's that for stirring something up fierce!

Oh, and I promised Yodaslap I'd use this as a tagline.

....My name is R, SLR. I have a license to shoot photographs. posted by losir at 3:57 PM

There was a time where I thought anyone who bought a book was a fool. Why would anyone pay for something they wouldn't read more than once or twice, when they could just borrow it from the library?

Now, I do. Although I haven't bought it yet, I know exactly what I want. $50 CAD.

Click for reviews of the book

[EDIT] Okay, just ordered it online. Total is less than $42, after shipping. Excited.

....It's ~$33 on amazon.ca, maybe I'll pick it up there.

posted by losir at 9:22 PM