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Another rare weekend updater; possibly feeling guilty for neglecting my page Friday.

Not much to report really, except maybe that the cold is already starting to bug me. My feet are constantly frosty, my hands are clammy, and the back of my brain is beating some Bohemian jungle beats from the swinging 60's. What a crummy life.

I don't even know why I'm still in Canada. I absolutely hate snow. Well, that's not true. I love walking through an empty field with warm mits and boots at night. I love the serenity and utter silence that goes with a gentle snow fall. It's really quite peaceful. But once I have to slosh through the slush, trundle the powder in my automobile, or worse, bring out the shovel to clear the driveway, I'm as miserable as pigs in space.

So back to why I'm in Canada. I don't know. I really don't know. Maybe perfect weather sucks. Maybe the thought of living in paradise would make everything else seem sucky in comparison. I like the idea of toughing it out. Every snowstorm I drive through is like a badge of honour. Every scoop of snow I shovel for my neighbours' driveway is a testament of unwavering respect to my elders. Every frost warning, every minus degree plus windchill, and yes, every single flake of snow I encounter and not cry uncle is my way of silently yet resiliently telling mother nature - Bring it on, lady.

I don't like winter. I really don't. But maybe if I stick with it long enough, the summers will be that much sweeter.

....A fireplace. I need a fireplace.


posted by losir at 4:19 PM

I had a dream two nights past, which in itself isn't extraordinary.

Now I dont' remember what the dream was about, although at three in the morning, while hitting up a washroom break, I vividly recollect staring into the mirror thinking, what a strange dream.

However, what I can assure you is that even when I was having this dream, I thought to myself: This would be a great blog entry.

I kid you not. I actually said that when I was dreaming. Of course, I have absolutely no clue as to what this dream was all about, but that isn't the point, is it? It's the fact that I was thinking about blogging even in the midst of being in lala-land.

Hi my name is Losir, and I'm a blogaholic.

....your negativity isn't very positive. posted by losir at 4:22 PM

Just had a quick conversation with BigMak, what a weird day.

His question: "Why are there more Asian girls dating non-Asian men then there are the reverse?"

He goes on to state: "I didn't notice this when I was living in Ottawa, but now that I'm in Toronto, that's all I see. Asian girls going out with white guys." (His words).

I read somewhere that there's this supposed racial hierarchy which exist the world over. It says that white folks are at the top, while black folks lie the bottom. The basic structure goes from light to dark skinned. The darker the skin, the less desireable one is on a global dating scale.

Now, wait a minute. I'm not trying to propagate any kind of racial hatred. I don't write this stuff myself, (and I certainly don't think about it 24/7). But how many people of a darker skin tone wouldn't want to date a hot looking white chick? If you're straight, you'd relate.

To quote BigMak a little further: "Why don't Caucasian women have 'yellow fever'?"

I'll be quite honest in that I've never seriously dated any other nationality than Chinese. Maybe it's because I grew up in a fairly racist environment, where I was a definite minority. I too felt the pressure to be more white-washed at times; more non-Chinese. I remember as a kid, my aunt asked me if I'd rather be white, and I'm like "Oh yeah. It'd be so much easier."

This inbred insecurity stays with me when I'm on the prowl for girlies. Sure, I'd love to score me a hottie whitey, but in the back of my mind, "Who'd want a geeky, skinny, overbite Chinese dude with bad skin and no money?"

I think this is a problem too far ignored. Like the stereotypical image of "Jungle fever" of black man, white woman, there's still this seemingly social taboo when we date outside of our culture/skin-tone. Although my parents would have no problem with me dating outside my "race", I know they'd prefer I bring home girls who can speak Cantonese. It's not a racial thing as much as a communicative issue.

Well, I'm not speaking on my parents' behalf. I know they'd be happy as long as I was. But how many parents/aunts/uncles do you know who'd freak if you brought home someone not of the same colour? I know way too many, and that's tragic.

I don't know what I'm writing here, and maybe that's the point. Because I too am confused when it comes to interracial dating. I don't have a problem per se, but I am bilingual, and if I hooked up with a girl who couldn't speak Cantonese, it just seems like such a waste.

I guess I can answer my own question: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if the couples get along, love is colourblind.

....1 in 4 couples divorce with-in 5 years of marriage (new stat heard on news.) posted by losir at 4:54 PM

Here's a morbid thought, if I died tomorrow, there'd be no pictures of me at my wake.

Do you even know what I'm talking about? Every funeral I've been to, there's always been one headshot photo that fills the frame, signifying the deceased person. Think a bigger version of a passport photo, if you will.

However, I really don't recollect taking any pictures like that of myself. Certainly not straight-faced, head on, smiling. The best I can muster is the silly picture on my home page. Great, even in death, I'll be humiliating myself.

....I don't know why I think of stuff like this. posted by losir at 5:02 PM