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Oh joy.... According to Cap'n Wacky's Death-O-Tron 5B-XR Here's how I will die.
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You will be crushed by a falling anvil while chasing a delicious-looking small yellow canary. The falling anvil will be only the last action of an elaborate machine that you trigger by opening the bird's cage (earlier steps include a toaster that shoots toast that knocks over some dominoes which drop the last one into a scale which now imbalanced raises a pin up to a balloon which it pops, and so on and so on). Your face will make a perfect and permanent imprint into the anvil.
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Just how did he know that The Incredible Machine remains one of my all time favorite video game? Shoot! posted by losir at 2:45 PM

Oh My GAWD. This is funny stuff. You need a fast connection (24 meg) and Apple's quicktime 5.02 plug-in/Player

Link

....oh man, it's so well done. posted by losir at 2:37 PM

While driving in to work this morning, I had my radio tuned to the local news station. A commercial comes on touting to the tune of "....Men's Health Clinic, where we can help with your erectile disfunctions and other sexual difficulties...."

And I'm like, "Hello? Yes. I have a problem in the realm of 'other sexual difficulties.' You see, I'm so butt style ugly, I can't score a date if my life depended on it, which in this case, it does! So can you help? Can you turn Don Spawn into Don Juan?"

....hey, it's boring driving to work sometimes, okay? posted by losir at 9:57 AM

Oh yeah.

Umm, isn't that a good enough update? posted by losir at 10:34 AM

Here's another version of the stupid flash I made, this time, took out the cheesy music, and added better SFX. Please try this one. Sorry, added an extra 15k to the d/l.

LINK

Thanks to KawiPilot for suggesting the bikes should chase.... posted by losir at 5:39 PM

Did another flash animation, this time for our riding group's website.

This one is a biggie, weighing in at ~160k, with sound and everything. Eeek. Sorry 33.6k modem users.

Click HERE----> Link

Also, sometimes the audio doesn't sync up with the video due to a slow connection or system. But you get the idea....

....fun fun fun. posted by losir at 3:33 PM

I sent this to a cousin of mine. I liked it so much, I had to repost it. It's one of the few times where I came out a big winner. :)

Okay, I"m not talking about faggy ball room dancing, or even swing, which is kinda cool. But learn to appreciate music and express that appreciation with your body. Nothing beats it, nothing. Okay, dancing with a girl tops it. Okay, a beautiful girl is even better.

Actually, swing is really back in fashion, depending on your circle of friends. I was at a bar once, and this really beautiful looking Latina was standing by herself, I struck up a conversation thus:

me: Excuse me, I don't wanna sound stupid, but I really love that colour of blue on your dress. You remind me of my childhood....

Her: Really? (Giggles), how so?

me: Serious. When I was a kid, I used to walk in the mountains with my grandparents, we'd always walk by this one house that had the exact same shade of blue on its window shutters as the one you're wearing, it's very comforting when I see you in that dress. Makes me think of myself when I was a kid.

Her: Oh really? Well I'm glad I can bring a little bit of your childhood back for you. (Turns to leave)

me: Well, thanks again, the dress looks great on you BTW. Where did you buy it?

Her: (turns back, smiles even more) I made it myself.

me: Bogus, you couldn't have, it just looks so stunning.... you in it. You make the dress look good I guess. (Cheesy compliment, but true. You really had to see her in it!)

Her: (Smiles, she knows the game is on.) You don't believe me? Feel for the tag on the inside of my dress.....

She was wearing a one piece tube dress. Very sexy, and she had, umm... big pecs.

I put my hand inside the top back of her dress, and I accidently pulled and unhooked one of her bra straps. I swear, it was an accident. But unhooking a bra strap with one hand have always been a trick of mine. Don't ask. I'm not a pervert, something I picked up in Grade 7.... as my female buddies let me practice. ;-)

She turns around, totally shocked.

me: Whoops. Sorry.

She does it back up, smiles, knowing the game is in full effect. "See? I told you."

We talked a little longer, really cool getting to know her. I remember talking about her coming from Ecudor, and the type of foods she liked; how she hated bread soup, etc. Then finally her friends came to get her so she had to leave, and that was that. I don't ask for phone numbers. I'm happy just to have other men at the club stare at me enviously b/c I'm talking to a hot chick. My friend came up to me later and he's like: Wow, I can't believe you were talking to her, she was so freaking hot.

I'm like, "Yeah. We even danced a little."

Swing dancing, I swear it works. You don't have to be good. But if a girl asks you to dance, don't be all like "I'm too cool, so I'll just sit here."

....fool and cool, only a letter apart.
posted by losir at 3:44 PM

Ugh, I'm getting a little psycho.

Better stop, before they put a restraining order on me.

...cryptic yes, but too bad. It's my webpage and cry if I want to, cry(ptic) if I want to.... posted by losir at 3:20 PM

Look, I just want to send out a freaking little package to my folks in HK. Does it require brain surgery?!

First it was my mistake to not put the receiver's name on the Fedex form. I admit it, I brainfarted. But it took them a week, a whole bloody week, to call me to say I made a mistake. Fair enough. But does it take THAT long??

Then when I gave them the correct recipient's name, they ask for a telephone number. My dear old parents got cute. They want the package delivered to my grandfather's apartment (because they spend a lot of time there), and I forgot this fact, so when I gave them their phone #, it's naturally incorrect. I gave Fedex my parents' home number, when in fact I should have given them my grandfather's digits. Arg!!

What I don't understand is why does Fedex take so long to discover mistakes?? They only called me today. That's another week after the first time they called me.

I'm on the customer service line, and I'm totally agitated, I'm about to scream into the phone, and make one of those rediculous customer service calls that you hear or read about on the internet. Then I laugh to myself: I'm such a crybaby. So by this time, the lady on the other line is also a little upset because I haven't been exactly civilized. To break up the tension, I go: "Listen, I saw the movie Castaway. Could you please send a Fedex engineer and straighten the place up?"

She laughs, telling me she just saw it last night too. She didn't want to watch it before she took a trip to Malaysia because she was on a Fedex plane. (They fly for free, if you're willing to take the routes that Fedex planes travel in.)

Anyway, we both had a laugh, and she's trying hard to get the HK Fedex branch to deliver ASAP.

....like that's going to make a difference. Hurmph.

posted by losir at 10:51 AM

So the Flash animation took about 5 hours to create. Pretty sad huh?? It turned out pretty okay. Not as nice as I wanted it to be, but since I'm not familiar with the software, I think it's okay. Actually, I tried a lot of different things before settling on what you SEE now.

This home network biz is tougher than it looks. For some inexplicable reason (to me at least, I know NOTHING about networking), I can't seem to get it working 100%. It's so flaky at times, it's really starting to get me upset. I know that Win98SE/WinME has built in home networking and internet connection sharing software OUT OF THE BOX, but it just doesn't work... arg. And what exactly do I do for a living? Don't ask. I'm embarassed as it is.... *blink* *blink*

My sleeping pattern is so screwed up now, I slept on Sunday at 6pm, totally tanked. As soon as I walked into my room, I ripped off my clothes and fell into a deep coma-tic (sic) sleep, until I was awoken at 10:30pm by a phone call. After that, I was wide awake, up until 7:30am, in part at fault due to the Flash thingy above. I then slept again until about 11:30am, at which time I was too exhausted to sleep anymore, if there is such a thing.

Anyhow, I gotta shower now, I've been lying in the sun for 2 hours, reading my magazines....

....Content is sunning. Now I know why cats love window sills.

posted by losir at 6:48 PM

oooh, a flash title. :) posted by losir at 7:26 AM