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I realize that it's hard to know if you're a loser or not, (especially when no one seems to want to talk to you....). So I've comprised a checklist, and now you can conveniently use it to confirm that nagging suspicion you're not as cool as you fantasize to be.

__ You generally regard your Friday evenings as laundry night.

__ No one's ever gave you a cool nickname. Heck, you've never even had a crappy nickname, not even "loser".

__ The only phone calls you've gotten in the last 6 months start with: "Hello sir, my name is Frank Anbeans, I represent...." [insert telemarketting scam here]

__ Watching a movie by yourself at the theaters isn't that bad of an idea.

__ The old folks home asks you to stop visiting, because frankly, you're freaking the foggies out.

__ You can't seem to organize a two person volleyball league.

__ The bartender has never bought you a round, even after buying 5 shots in a row.

__ Your name is always followed by exepletives.

__ Watching the grass grow is no longer just a figure of speech.

__ You've said at least once in your life "I've talked to lots of girls before!" (or "guys" if you're female, or you swing that way....)

__ For you, "smiles" are not free at McDonalds.

__ Your idea of a good weekend is starting and finishing your favorite video game in one sitting. (Checkmark twice if the game is Barbie's Playhouse)

__ Your only form of social action is web based message boards.

__ The best conversation you've had all week was when you 'accidently' bumped into that cute girl/guy, and s/he said "Ewww! Get away!"

__ Even your mother doesn't bother to return your call, on Mother's day no less!

__ You've bought yourself a birthday present, then splurged, and got yourself a birthday card too.

__ After he writes you a ticket, you really think the cop mean it when he says "Have a nice day."

__ The only digits you get at the bars always start with 1-900 or 1-976.

__ Even when invited, the Jahovah's Witness don't want to bother coming over.

__ Your grandmother says "I'll call you sometime." But it's been 2 years and still nothing. (No, she doesn't have Alzimers)

__ You actually read this far and mentally checked off more than half of the list.

__ You chuckle nervously at each and every point, because they're hitting a little too close to home.

__ You write stuff like this.

....rats. Foiled again. posted by losir at 4:33 PM

Forget the cute animals.... this animation totally shows how I feel today. posted by losir at 12:00 PM

[re-written and posted as of 10:15am EST]

Okay, so tonight was laundry night.

I had just finished washing my darks, and was starting to do my whites. As I placed one load into the dryer, and the other into the washer, I noticed that there wasn't enough of whites to do a full load. What to do, what to do?

I looked down, noticing that I was still wearing my beige cargo pants. Ah ha! I can wash this too....But!

I had just washed all my pants, including my track pants and my 2 pair of black shorts. I had absolutely nothing to wear in the house. None.

So I did what every shameless man would have done, I took them off and flung them into the washer. Now the problem is to run back upstairs without getting caught. My landlord, landlady and the kid were all home. Since the laundry room is in the basement, and my room is on the second floor, it was going to be a challenge worthy of a Hollywood screen adaptation. The landlord was watching TV in the basement. The landlady was watching her TV on the first floor in the kitchen, which is situated by the stairs. And the kid was in his room, studying.

Has anyone seen Bruce Lee's Game of Death? You know, where in the end, he's fighting in the Pagoda, and each level's opponent harder than the next? Well, that's how I felt. In only my underwear, the washer already on, the dryer just started, no clothes, no pants. Just my wits, against the whole household.

I listened to the TV in the basement. The landlord is partly deaf, so it was on pretty loud. I recognized the TV show he was watching and knew that he wouldn't turn around to see me go up because a) he couldn't hear well, and b) he was watching Chinese soaps, which means he's glued to the TV. I listened for a bit, making sure it wasn't a commercial, and darted out of the laundry room and onto the basement stairs. All present and accounted for sir!

I waited at the entrance of the first floor, it looked all clear. I heard the Mission Impossible theme song in my head. The landlady loves to see who's walking around the house, so any noise will set her off. Maybe the TV program could hold her at bay, maybe not. It was a gamble. I licked my lips, and set off. I felt like Robert Redford in Sneakers, too old to do any believeable stunts, so instead they conjoured up a situation where he had to slowly move through the room to retrieve some object of desire. I too could not run, for fear of stepping on a creaky floor board or stair. I walked as briskly as I dared, it was almost a 2 foot shuffle or a very bad waltz, take you pick. But I made it unseen. Two out of three obsticles conquered!

I peeked through the railing from the second floor the the third. My room was at the end of the hallway, and I had to pass the kid's door before I could reach safety. I checked his door, closed! And I heard him talking on the phone. Great scott! Here's my chance. I shot up the stairs, heart pounding, arms racing. My blood thudded against my eardrumss as my oxygen starved legs began to protest needing to be active without warning. I flew into my room and slammed the door shut! "Yes!", I mouthed, pumping my fists into the air. "Home free!!" I even felt like yelling "Ollie Ollie oxen free!"

I was pretty proud of myself. I even opened a can of Pepsi as celebration. Then it hits me: How the heck was I supposed to get back downstairs when the laundry was done? I still don't have a pair of pants! I gotta do a repeat performance, only now I have to go downstairs with no TV program to distract them. It's like The Thomas Crown Affair, where after Pierce Brosnan steals the painting, he's gotta sneak it back in at the end of the movie.

....Sometimes I even outsmart myself. posted by losir at 12:40 AM

File this one under stranger than fiction.

So I grabbed a copy of Microsoft Encarta 99, which is a multimedia encyclopedia. Now, this isn't even close to the latest version, as I know there's Encarta 2001. Anyway, how and why I was looking at it wasn't important, but the fact I was looking at it is.

Encarta has a section various cities of the world. I chose Hong Kong. With this software, there is a feature which displays a 360 panoramic view of different landmarks in HK. I was goofing around when I saw "Ladder Street." Intrigued, I clicked there. When I panned the view in a circle, I was taken aback.... "I used to live here."

But it's been 20 years since I've been in Canada, and 10 years since last I visited HK. Then again, my incidental memory is extremely sharp, which means I can remember certain minute details that others may overlook, but my overall power of memory is pretty poor. Even when I went back to HK 10 years ago, I was able to get off the bus and walk back to where I lived as a child, and that was more than 10 yrs after the fact. Besides, HK changes so quickly, that buildings were all different. Still, I was able to recognize little things about where I lived, and I got off the bus, and walked back to my old apartment. Amazing.

Anyhow, it's so weird that my neighbourhood is featured in Encarta. No, I cannot see my apartment in the picture, I'm not even sure if it still exists. But how odd that I had a sense of deja vu when I was viewing the picture, because I just knew that I used to live so close to there.

....I have to make time to visit HK soon, before everything becomes too unrecognizable. posted by losir at 10:50 AM

So here's the watch I bought. So retro, I love it! Not the very best pic, but it's good enough.



....ba dip, ba dip, ba that's all folks.

posted by losir at 12:49 AM

Wow, so much too catch up on, so little time to do it..... First things first I guess:

Sunday -
There wasn't a whole lot of sunshine on Sunday, and it wasn't even very warm. Instead of the beach (or Niagar Falls for that matter), we did nothing except walk the mall and catch a flic. Got to see The Mummy Returns. You know what? It's not as bad as most people say. Sure, there was a near non-existing plot, and not much made sense, but if you leave your brain at the door and just let the movie carry you through, it can be entertaining. Watch it expecting it to suck, and it will be okay.

Monday -
I was going to include a picture, but I didn't have time, or at least not today I don't. But you believe me right?? Of course you do....

I had my first KrispyKreme donut on Monday, having crossed the border into Buffalo. I have to say, I'm sorely disenchanted. I drove for 2 hours in search of a donut from the gods, and all I got was something smaller than donuts back in Canada, overly sweet, and not extremely hot and fresh. What rubbish.

Granted, watching the little doughballs carried through the conveyor belt into a bath of vegetable shortening, then drenched into a delicious vanilla waterfall was enticing to be sure. However, the end product was just average. Maybe because I didn't have a cup of tea with my donut, opting for a cold glass of milk, or that they didn't actually give us from the hot and fresh batch, but I don't know. If Americans think this is the best donut ever, you haven't had fresh Tim Horton's honey cruller. Now, that is good. Soft, fluffy, with just the right amount of honey coating to make it crispy yet light. Served with a nice hot Timmy's extra large tea with milk and a dash of sugar. Oh baby! And I don't even like sweet foods much.

Which brings me to Monday night. I don't know what happened, but I did upchuck when I got home. I didn't even have much appetite Monday night for dinner. At about 10pm, I made myself a mug of Ovatine, but by midnight, I knew I had to hurl it out. I'll spare anymore grusome detail. Safe to say, it wasn't pleasant.

Tuesday -
The present. I'm sitting at home, sick and feverish. I took a couple of Advil to lower my fever, but my stomach is still churning like a boat in the midst of a typhoon. I don't know what bug bit me, but boy, it's been a rough day. I don't even have the energy to stand up for long periods of time....

Oh by the way, I went and bought a fossil watch at the outlet mall for $10 US. It's an extremely ugly watch, but that's why I love it. I think I'll wear it once I get the band shortened. I mean, it's ten bucks, you can't go wrong. A battery costs $5 CAD, why not.... It's digital too, which I haven't worn for a long time. Whatever, it's a fun watch, and it's cheap. I'll take a picture of it later, when I have access to a camera. In the meantime, I'm going back to bed.

....Dang Yankee donuts. Curses!



posted by losir at 1:59 PM

Summer must be coming, I spent Saturday at the beach.

Actually, I didn't do anything spectacular, just walked around soaked up some sun.

I don't know why I don't have any beach volleyball playing friends. I mean, I love vball, and it would rock outdoors. But I've never met a group of people that would go every weekend to play ball. I know one or two guys, but we're not close, and since I've never been invited, I didn't want to impose.

I think either I need to meet new friends, or I have to start one up with my existing buddies; which is exactly what I'm trying to do today - Get them to hit the beach and play some ball. Maybe even have a barbee.

ChocoSnoopy also has expressed interest in learning how to inline skate (Rollerblade is a copywritten word, donchaknow). So maybe we'll do that today too at the beach. It's either fun in the sun or Niagara Falls. I don't know why my friends want to go, but apparantly they do.

....It's funny how I don't feel like riding today.... I must be coming down with something. posted by losir at 10:59 AM