Content is paramount.

Animotion
Vroom

losir logo

So I was driving back to work from lunch, and hydrabenzine happened to be with me. As I approached the intersection, the light was flashing an advanced green. In Ontario, that means the direction of traffic seeing the flashing green gets to go first. This helps people make left turns at busy intersection. Anyhow, I was going a little slow for my passengers, and hydrabenzine remarks: "Go!", then explains, "An advanced green is one of life's little pleasures."

Which I totally agree. Nothing feels as good as making the dreaded rush hour left turns unhindered, especially if you're pressed for time. Therefore, I've decided to post my list of "Top Ten Life's Little Pleasure Which We Didn't Know Was One". Let's go!

10. Being in a change room full of people after a tough volleyball game, and your feet not making people gag.

9. Using your credit card to treat someone to dinner when it's nearly maxed out, and the charge incredibly goes through.

8. The Squigee kids not noticing your dirty windshield at a seemingly long red light.

7. The first time you noticed that your wimpy workout is actually making a difference.

6. That song you've been humming all day long finally comes on the radio.

5. Actually making conversation with the best looking guy/girl at the bar, with your friends totally jealous.

4. Waking up with a supremely sore throat, with no sick days left; gone after a glass of water.

3. Missing the big pile of doggie poopoo on your way to a friend's house.

2. Grabbing the last bag of Ms. Vicky's Jalapeno chips.

And the number 1 "life's little pleasure which we didn't know was one" is....

Being in on the joke, rather than the butt of one.

....When you break it down like that, life's kinda worth living for; although Monday mornings can still go. posted by losir at 12:49 AM

Things are happening VERY fast. I feel like an innocent bystander being dragged along for the ride; except I was the one that started the ball rolling. At least, I gave the go-ahead.

What that means is that I will probably NOT be able to go back to HK for vacation, and that my working out schedule will be sorely disrupted. I think I'll have to keep my shirt on this summer, again. :)

But hey, it's an exciting time for me. I don't want to spill the beans quite just yet, because I don't want to jinx it. Believe me, it took a blind leap of faith. There's no guarantee that I'll land feet first, or that there is any ground beneath me at all. I'm getting vertigo just thinking about it..... I gotta lie down.

....It's do or die time kid. Are you man or ameba? posted by losir at 3:28 PM

Uh oh Torontonians. There are new cop cars out there that are made to catch speeders and other aggressive drivers. Picture included below.


I found the article HERE. <- Thanks Helter Skelter for the e-mail.

By the way, the shimmering effect you see in the picture is the artist's conception of what the car looks like from the side. The Police logo is not visible unless shone directly at it. This is the "stealth" part of the vehicle.

Basically, it says that if you've been driving in a dangerous manner, you're going to be caught. End of story. I think it's just another ploy to generate revenue for the city's coffer. The officer being interviewed even admitted that people don't normally drive like idiots when there's a marked police cruiser in the near vicinity. So why can't the city put 10 more marked cars in constant patrol, so that their mere presence alone will ensure people drive better. By masking your intentions, the only purpose it serves is to catch and ticket people. How is that making the road a safer place to drive?? Afterall, it's out of sight, out of mind right? There's no justification.

So be careful peeps, if you're native to Toronto, or plan on visiting. Theoretically, we should all be following the law anyway, but if somehow in a moment of being rushed, you forget to signal for a quick lane change, John Q. Law might just write you up.

...Does that mean I can't go fast on my bike from now on?? Man, they take the fun out of everything.






posted by losir at 1:48 PM

They say that now up to 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Just think for a second. One out of every other couple you see on the streets is bound for splitsville. Wow, what a scary thought. It means that nearly half the populace out there blow a wad of money on their wedding, only to shell out a ton more in lawyer fees. That's not to mention their friends, who first spend mad cash on wedding gifts, and then an untold amount of dollars on booze to console their newly divorced buddy.

So I ask, "Why is that?" Is our society so corrupt that we can't hold two people together in matrimony? Could it be shows like Temptation Island, where they set it up so that couples would cheat on each other? Maybe it's the constant bombardment of explicit sexual images in movies, television, and on the Internet; at a rate the likes of which we've never been exposed to before? We live in a sick world today where self-gratification is more important than sensitivity towards society at large. I mean, look at Richard on Survivor 1, didn't he parade around in his birthday suit just because "He wanted to.", without caring how it could affect his fellow campers? That's a pretty good idea how self-obsessed we've become right?

Yet, we still feel and know it's wrong to cheat on your spouse or significant other. We know it's a cop out when couples do to not attempt to work things out, instead of just giving up because so far, it hasn't worked out. Even then, divorces are so common place now, that shameful, silenced whispers no longer accompany the "D-word". So what could be the downfall of the santity of marriage, and in believing it when we utter, "Till death do us part..."?

May I present you: the lowly cellphone. You read right. The portable and ultra convenient cellular telephone. It is the harbinger of ill tidings to come.

You see, the cellphone discourages commitments between people. It wasn't so long ago that friends would plan to meet up 2-3 days in advance. A group would decide to catch a movie the week before, and everyone would agree to a set place and/or time to meet. Now, with the convenience that goes with being in virtual constant contact, everybody says instead, "Call me on my cell, and I'll let you know."

The problem wouldn't be as widespread if cellular technology wasn't so accessible. Unfortunately, It's become the reverse "chicken and egg" theorem. The more people who use the technology, the cheaper the phone guys can mass produce it. The more phones, the more users, and the cheaper it gets. And so on, until the lowest common denominator of cellphone user is reached. That is, even junior high students can now be seen carrying a phone of their own, since it's so cheap to maintain a monthly plan.

Evolution dictates: the more younger it affects, the more its generation will adopt the pitfalls. So many kids now already have a phone, that instead of making verbal agreements and sticking to it, they now decided that "If s/he calls me, I'll make up my mind then." This has bred total uncommited behaviour that carries on to teen and adulthood. No longer is anyone required to keep their word. At the last minute, friend A will call friend B, to cancel on a date or event. Just because they know their party can be reached at all times.

Hence, back to the original problem of marriage. We're so used to the "last minute bail out", our attitude towards "The Promise" have been altered, thanks in no small part to the humble cellphone. Instead of wading through thick and thin together as a couple, we can use the concept of the cellphone, and call the whole thing off at any slight hint of a problem. "Sorry love," calls Jonny Nogood. "I can't stand the way you snore. Astalavista, baby." *Click*..... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I have been a victim of the cellphone craze. I too carry my phone at all times, even to the washroom, in fear of not being in touch. I find it humorous sometimes when people get upset because they can't reach me on my cell. I think "Yeah, but if I didn't have a phone, you wouldn't be able to find me anyway, so what's the big deal?" In the old days of regular telephone, people would just say "Too bad I couldn't reach you, we went out." Now, everyone's a little more bothered when you can't be reached, even if they're just thinking of "Should we go out?" How sad.

I don't regret getting a cellphone, Since I don't have a home phone, it has become the primary method of contacting me. Still I just wish that people would learn to plan ahead more often, instead of using the cellphone as a crutch. I vow to keep my word, and plan in advance, sticking to the program, no matter the cost. Will you?

....of course, there's also the advent of the e-mail, which further deteriorate our inter-personal relationship skills. But that's another topic, for another time.




posted by losir at 1:20 AM

I'm always fascinated by how different men and women really are. I know that in this day and age of absolute political correctness, nothing short of equality between the sexes should be discussed or encouraged. However, I don't care what anyone says, there's no such thing as equality. Men and women will always be different, and we're the better for it.

Take for example the simple job of grocery shopping. The male will go in there as if he's on a mission, almost S.W.A.T. like. He gathers his grocery items mentally, and upon entry, makes a bee line to it, and leaves. Mission accomplished. Turn on the hockey game!

Females on the other hand, loves to browse. They love the idea of going to a grocery store with nothing but a well oiled push-buggy, and a debt free credit card. When she finally decides on something she wants to buy, like a jar of mayonaise, then the fat/calorie/chemical content comparison begins. "Let's see," says our health conscious gal. "Brand X has %50 less fat, but Brand Y has added vitamin B. Ooooh, the choices!" Come on girly, pick the jar that holds the most in quantity and let's go!! There's men things to be done, like nailing boards together. Just because!

Then there's picking food at a restaurant. The girl will eat the most greasy foods, as long as she can "share". The guy will order whatever the girl wants, just to avoid a fight. For example, if the girl wanted spaghetti, and the guy wanted chicken wings, he will not be getting the wings. It will end up being the girl to eat some of her pasta, and then give the rest to the guy. Neither will be full, but the girl is at least be satisfied, while the guy has to make himself a sandwich at home.

How about the ritualistic routine of washing the car? The girl will take it to the carwash, and that's it. Who cares about the clear coat being scratched up? Man, who by nature cherishes his vehicle like their ancestors did with their horses and buffalo, washes the car with much love. They will spend the necessary money to ensure the car is pristine. Wax, special car shampoo, $200 electric pressure spray gizmo to give the same hp output as the professional car washers use. Regular water? Are you kidding?? Only Evian is good enough for my baby!

....no, and I won't end this by saying: "Woman, get thee to the kitchen; and cook me something." I won't!





posted by losir at 1:10 PM

You want to know how messed up my mind can be? Do you know how deep my mind works?

I was looking at a restaurant menu last night, and I see this:

Egg sandwich: $3.99
Ham sandwich: $3.99
Ham & egg sandwich: $4.25

And it hits me. If two people both wanted the the H&E sandy, then wouldn't it be better if one got the egg, the other got the ham, and just swapped half the sandwich? You've just saved 52 cents!

And that's how I am. It's not that I'm cheap, but everything I do, I need to find an angle. I need to have an "in". I don't like being scammed, it boils my blood when they've pulled a wet one over my eyes, and I later realize they've played me the fool. Bugs me to no end.

Like when I bought my car. I specifically asked for the CD changer, but the guy writes down in-dash CD Player. Unknowingly, I go and sign my initial to agree to the in-dash CD like an idiot. When I later looked at my bill, I flew back to give them the business. The sales manager is like "Okay, well, since the car is late, we'll give you the changer instead of the player."

"Give? Give?!", I exclaimed incredulously. "You're not doing me any favors bud. That's what I asked for in the beginning!" Well, I was still trying to be civil, but had definitely crossed the line of pleasant.

....but it's okay, I'm still an innocent child; ever trusting, always believing that humanity is inherently good. I'm such a sucker.

posted by losir at 2:32 PM

Someone must be reading my page, and decided to do the "good weather" dance. It was 10 degrees today, and it wasn't pouring rain!!! Too bad it had wind gusts of up to 60km/h. Still I just HAD to bring out my bike for a quick spin around town.

I put my charged battery back into its place, hooked it up and screwed the seat back on. Inserting the key nervously, I thought of years past when like a stubborn old goat, the bike sometimes wouldn't start after a cold harsh winter. Turning the key to the "on" notch, the headlights instantly cut a bright swatch through the darkened garage, and the digital guages lit up like a pinball machine on tilt. Flicking the engine kill-switch back to the "On" position so that the engine could be started, the familiar fuel injection system whined and whirled from within. I licked my parched lips, "Come on baby, be good to daddy." The bike was waking up from 3 months of hibernation, and sometimes she hadn't slept enough. She reared hers hind legs in a lazy stretch, and yawned loudly, letting me know at least she was willing to try to wake up. She shook her head serveral times, clearing her thought of cobwebs, dust and crud from the winter blues. Standing on her feet finally, she flexed each leg to test the disused muscles from the deep slumber. Finally she stood, and sniffed me. "Hi beautiful," I asked, running my trembling hands over her seat, "Wanna go for a spin?"

She stood instantly erect, impatiently waiting for me to start the engine and give it life. Even the mirrors perked up like ears, listening for my command to launch into a steady gallop. She was as happy to see me as I was her. "Let's do this," growled the bike. "It's been a dreadful winter."

I put my hand on the red START button, gasping for breath. It's was all coming back to me now. The thrill of piloting a super-sportsbike, the responsive power, the heightened senses, the wind blasting against my neck and shoulders, straining to unseat me as I tucked below the windshield bubble. My heart was racing, my pulse was pumping. I was rearing to go. Even the wind didn't put a damper on my expectation of a great ride.

"Bzzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-t" and the starter cranked the engine over. "Was it going to...." Before I had a chance to even finish thinking, the engine roared to life, and instantly greeted me with a loud, low rumble through its inards and out the pipe (what you civilians could called the muffler). "Don't doubt me again," scolded my steed, then added, "Oh ye of little faith."

The engine slowly warmed, and like a kid on Christmas morn, I ran back into the house to change into my full leathers. Not only were the leathers great against wind and cold, I also wanted to be safe, being the first ride of the season and everything. "Woohoo." I screamed, "I'm gonna ride!"

When I ran back out, helmet in hand, I remembered something. After that many months of being dormant, the tires tend to be pretty deflated. I checked the tire pressure, yup, way low. So I pumped some air into the tires and I thought I was ready. No, wait. I almost forgot I need to lube my chain too. Where's that can of chain lube? "Ah, there it is." Hehe. I giggled like a schoolgirl being noticed by boys for the first time. I think I actually blushed.

Putting the can of lube back, and finally getting the right tire pressure for the front and back, I hopped onto the bike for the very first time in a winter oh so long. My legs trembled, and my bladder suddenly felt full. No matter, I can always pee later. I looked out, the sky was cloudy, the winds were blowing like it was on a mission. I remembered thinking, "It's going to rain."

I backed the bike out of the garage, and after a quick 3 point turn, I aimed the rocket towards the mouth of the driveway. The bike purred in anticipation, and I stroked its gas tank re-assuringly. While holding the clutch in, I stomped on the gear to engage it into first. The tranny went "BLUP", signaling an "all go" which made me grin foolishly. I so miss this.

Letting out the clutch slowly and ever gently nudging the throttle open, the bike crept off the driveway. I wanted to make sure my muscles and brain still remembered how to ride. They did. It just felt right. If I smiled anymore, I'd have stretch marks on my face in the morning.

In my head, I started a quick countdown, "3, 2, 1.... We have lift off!" It had begun. The side streets were still covered in dirt and grit accumulated during the winter months of too much ice and not enough snow plows. But I was on cloud ten, if such place existed. The engine roared beneath me, protesting the fact I was going so slow. But I did not give into its begging, I was the one in control, not her. I will not let silly temptations spoil my fun.

When I finally got out into cleaner streets, I opened her up. It felt so great, and yet, it was scary. I'm not used to the speeds after this many months of driving my car; which I thought I had a love for. Now I once again realize that cars are nothing but a commuter box, nothing more. Up and around several streets I went, until I spotted the highway entrance. I gave it just a little more gas and propelled myself onto the onramp. When I straightened up the bike, I cranked the throttle and the bike rocketed itself into stratospheric speeds in the blink of an eye. I imaged the cars on the road blurred and left streaks of lights. "Scotty, we need more power. Warp 10!"

After 20 minutes of buzzing back and forth in local Mississauga, it started to rain. It wasn't too bad, since I was close to ms_toxin's house. After another 5 minute, I pulled back into the garage, satisifed and smiled to myself rather smuggly. "Oh yeah!"

You know, riding all year 'round must be nice. But nothing beats anticipation. Nothing can be better than the thrill of getting the first ride of the year. I guess deprevation breeds appreciation. Yes, that's it. Now I understand. That's why there's winter.

....don't get your hopes up chump, it's forecasted to snow again in the next two days. posted by losir at 7:42 PM