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What a fun night. Went to Dave and Busters again with a whole group of friends. What terrible fun! It was a slight but welcomed refuge from the blahs of the winter blues. There were too many people who went for me to name. But thanks to everyone who came out and busted my gut from all the jokes, you guys and gals are darn precious.

One thing is certain, I will never get used to the idea of my ex-girlfriend and my current Flava Flave to be getting along famously. Nothing freaks me out more than seeing the two of them walking together, eyes flicking my way and then grinning like little school girls with their hand caught in the cookie jar. It is oh so very odd, and slightly disturbing. I feel like an animal in a cage, I do. I was looking for a sign that said "Dangerous animal, do not feed." Except of course, I am not a dangerous animal, and I certainly would like to be fed. Still, I can't help but shake the feeling that all along, I've been set up by the gods, and this is nothing but a mad experiment, while I'm the unfortunate lab mouse.

It was a good night though, I had chicken quesadilla and potato skin for dinner. Funny how I chose two appetizers as dinner huh? Well I had a very late lunch at 2pm, and then the Company had their pizza, wing, and beer day at 4pm. Which means when 7pm rolled around, I still was pretty stuffed. Besides, I've been eating rather greasy foods lately, and "pub food" such as they were, wasn't really appealing to me. In the end, I decided to get appetizers so that people could share, and I'd eat the rest. Turned out pretty okay. The girls at the table kept teasing me about the pretty waitress though. She first came by to make sure I had my potato skins, even though no one else got their food. Then she asked me if I wanted more drinks, or it'd be some other such thing, do you want more napkins? How about a bib? Can I feed you? Can I get your number?? Haha, fooled you. Well she was pretty, and since no one else at my end of the table were very conversational towards her, she probably found me the most responsive to her inquiries, and it was just the easiest route to make sure the table was satisfied. But please, don't shatter my ego, it's frail enough as it is. At least let me dream once in a while, eh?

....If you got it, flaunt it. If you don't? Fantasize.




posted by losir at 3:25 AM

I don't trust scientists. I'm weary of people in thick bottle glasses with white lab coats and sterile clipboards tucked under the arm, exactly perpedicular to the floor. I don't believe in people who've spent more time in school than I have in the can. Nope, you're a suspucious lot.

You lied. All those years with your nose in a book, up until the wee hours of the morn with a room completely dark save the glow of the monitor shining onto your greasy foreheads; all for naught. You forsook dates on the weekend, fun during weeknights, and even gave up any attempt to styling your hair. And for what?! Nothing I say. Not a bloomin' freaking thing!!

Get out of the Star Trek conventions, stop watching X-Files and Babylon 5 reruns. Put the Popular Science magazine back onto the shelf, and surrender that pocket protector. You're not worthy to be called a geek!

Do I have reasons to hate you? Of course I do! You're in on it with the weatherperson (can't be weatherman anymore). I know it! You say, time and time again: "Stop driving your car. Stop using that aresol spray can. Don't eat too much beans."

You promised us that if we kept emmitting green-house gasses, there'd be global warming. Well it ain't happening. At least, it's not happening fast enough! I want global warming, and I want it now!!

It. Is. Snowing. AGAIN! After I left my car running all night, with the catalytic converter ripped out, and extra leaded gasoline in my car. I took out all my hair spray cans, and emptied them into the air. I even ate enough beans the night before to be able to fart to the tune of the national anthem, and STILL it snows?!

Come on folks. Help me out a little. The ozone layer isn't thinning out enough. Not for this kid. I need warm weather, so I can ride my motorcycle already. If several billion people die of heat exhaustion, tough. Look on the bright side (get it??), at least you'll die a warm, healthy tan. Trust me, it looks good on ya. It's just skin cancer. Suck it up, ol' chap!

You don't understand, I'm starting to lose it. I went to the video arcades to play motorcycle games today. That's how desperate I am. Next time, I'm going to play it with my helmet on!

....I don't hate snow, I just hate it in the winter.

posted by losir at 11:59 PM

Shrimp and wife M just had their first baby.... woohoo. Congrats you two.

Wait a cotton pickin' minute. What do I mean by "their first...."?! Am I implying that they might actually have subsequent babies in the future? As in, second, third and fourth?? Say it ain't so. Isn't one child enough??

Well, faithful readers will already know how I feel about children, so I won't even start. But I do think it's a great thing they're doing. I'm even volunteering to babysit for you. Which is pretty much writing a blank check because they live in S.Cali while I'm in Toronto. So the chances of them cashing in on my offer is slim. "Hakuna-matata!"

The scary thing is that I used to really love children. I helped run a daycamp for a whole summer, and I've worked in a daycare before. For a long time, I even wanted to be a children's book author. For some odd reason, I really click with kids. I can empathize with them, and understand just what they're thinking most of the time. Afterall, mentally speaking, I'm not more older than they are. I've always thought that the only difference between a 10 year old kid and me is that I can reach the clutch in a car. I think I loved kids because I could send them home at the end of the day. I can't imagine having my own. Maybe it's a fear of commitment. Anyway, no amount of psychiatric counselling could fix their heads after I raise them. I'm not saying they'd be psychopaths, but if they inherit my sense of humour, the world would be in trouble.

So friends, here's your prayer: Don't let LoSir babysit my kids. I don't want to live in a world where farting is considered an art, and burping is the social norm. Please help us.

....*burp* booooooooooottttttttt..... EWW!





posted by losir at 12:00 AM

I almost forgot about these. I found them on my HDD just last night. With his permission, I'm able to post these.

Note: Dad, Mom, he did NOT actually ride the bike, he just sat on it with my riding gear.

Can you believe it though? He looks better on it than I do. That's really a shame. In the lottery of life, I didn't even hit on one number. No wonder I turned out the way I did. But that's okay, I actually ride, while he just poses. Sucker. The third picture looks the best. I have to remember to take a picture just like that this year.

posted by losir at 2:33 PM

Here's a picture of little old me in my Repsol Honda T-Shirt. It costs $35 at a bike show. Tres expensive. But I sure look cool in it, don't I? Of course, I took the picture at like 1am, so I look like I'm about to fall asleep. Dang, I am getting fat, look how I almost don't have a chin. hehe.. it's so sad. But I'm adorable right? Say it! Say I am! Ok, who are we kidding.... If I met me on a blind date, I'd run too.

Notice the Honda hat in the background, as well as the posters on the wall, all about motorcycles. I'm just a little obsessive about the sport of motorcycling, eh?

Oh, forgot to mention. My first track day will be May 28th this year. It's at the Shannonville Fabi Track.

posted by losir at 11:54 AM

I'm a nerd. I really am. I'm so addicted to this little Flash. I don't know why, but it's funny as anything. What's funnier is why they couldn't hire someone who knows English to make these games?! I still can't stop laughing.

It also proves 2 points. One, there are a LOT of bored people out there. Two, boredom breeds creativity.

I think I need help.

Click Here -> All your base are belong to us. posted by losir at 4:33 PM

Oh boy, I feel like a tub of lard. I can actually feel my arteries hardening up, and my blood flow starting to slow. What's wrong with me today?

I'll tell you what's wrong. I had greasy Chinese food, again. Yummy!

I went to the local Chinese mall to have a plate of fast food. There were so many choices, but the soya sauce chicken called out to me like a candle to a moth. I tried to resist, knowing just how unhealthy it is for me. But I weakened at the last second, and got it. Dang, my heart is paying for it now.

The oil glistened on top of everything, the chicken, the veggies, even the rice underneath had a layer of fat like a nice clear coat of varnish. On top of that, I put a whole heaping tablespoon of a delicious paste consisting of ginger, chives, salt, and my favorite: oil. It's not healthy at all, but it's oh so good.

There's an old Chinese saying about skinny people: Even if dipped in oil, they still won't be fat. That used to be me. My metabolism is very high. But now that I've got a desk job, my spare tire is really nicely inflated. I think I've now lost the chin in Chinese.

...I used to be skinny as a kid, where has my childhood gone?




posted by losir at 2:29 PM

I hate minivans. I absolutely abhor them, especially on the highway.

Minivans are big, they're burly, and they handle like a truck. Worse are minivans based on car platforms. They are NOT cars.

So why is it that some automobile companies insist on selling them as sport vehicles?! Where's the sense in that?

Look buddy, when you're in a phase of life where a minivan makes sense, then your days of cruising in a hotrod trying to pick up chicks are OVER. Trust me on this one. Twenty year old girls don't dig balding guys over fourty with spinach stuck in their teeth, and blasting John Denver's "Country Road". Not even if you drive a Montana Sport minivan. It's not "built for drivers." It's built for your kids' soccer team and a month supply of kitty litter, OK??

If I had a nail for every Yahoo that sped down the highway with total disregard for other's safety in a two ton minivan, weaving in and out of traffic re-enacting the Days of Thunder, there'd be a lot of flat tires on the road, let me tell you. I know you're in a rush, I accept that. Most people these days are. But even with ABS, it takes a LOT longer to stop a van than say, oh, a NASCAR.

So please, for the love of Pete, stop driving them like a go-kart, because they're not! And don't be a left lane bandit either, hogging up the passing lane. It's not like other non truck drivers can see through your high bumper and higher trunk lift-gate. Worse are the ones who insist their minivans are cool vehicles, and must be tinted so much that it would repel laser attacks from the Star Wars defense program. We can't see ahead of you, and you're making passing very dangerous for the rest of us.

I even had minivans tailgate me when I obviously cannot speed because of traffic conditions. Just stop. Drive it like a school bus, and you'll make the world such a better place.

....The really bad part is that I'll be sharing the road with these Neanderthals once the riding season starts
posted by losir at 3:11 PM