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When do you know you're being appreciated at work?

Is it by the hearty thanks and slaps on the back at a job well done? How about the vivacious hand pumping and thousand watt smiles when you've saved your boss' bacon (for the umpteenth time)?? Maybe it's the dripping attention you receive everytime you walk down the hall, with shouts of rapture at your mere presense? No.

Thick toilet paper.

I know this, because the toilet paper on our floor is paper thin. Worse than paper thin, it's actually translucent. I kid you not. (I'll upload some pictures to show you later, but for now, believe me.) I mean, the toilet paper on our floor is so thin, you'd swear it's made from rice. Forget folding it twice to get the "two-ply" effect. You virtually need a train of paper the length of your arm, then wad it into the size of a cotton ball for it to be useful.

If it was any more sheer, you'd think it was silk. But alas, I know what silk looks and feel like, and it's definitely not like mini razor blades. The paper we have hurts like shaving with a dull blade without shaving cream. Talk about pavement pizza.... After using our toilet paper, you'll be scabbing for days.

To feel half-way sanitary, I needed half the roll just to line the seat. How gross is that?!

Then I wandered into the executive washroom.... man what a difference a couple of floors make!

Firstly, it was nicely decorated, with mood lighting and art nouveau lamp fixtures. Second, the walls were a nice dark grey with colour accents, which made me feel like I was at a trendy nightclub. Heck, it even smelled executive. I instantly felt I had just gotten a promotion, and this was my new office. Did I mention that the doors were made of wood, instead of the crappy, drab grey aluminium that I had been used to? I kept thinking, "I live in a place worse than this."

I opened the stall, expecting a wretched stench that would hit me in the face like a Mac truck. Instead, I smelt something totally foreign. Was it a meadow of spring roses with a hint of lilac? Or could it be tulips in a bouquet surrouded by petunias? I don't know, I've never smelled anything this nice before, except at The Bay's perfume section. I stood there for a brief second, inhaling and gulping the wonderful fragrance like a man who almost drowned. I was worried I'd never again smell anything as sweet.

I surveyed my stall. No! That word does it injustice. I marvelled at the 5 star "potty hotel", awed at the bone china-like bowl, so pristine and white, devoid of any unsightly stains. Even the plastic seat lid had a nice expensive sheen to it, like a new, black Ferrari in the midday sun. I grabbed a hold of the toilet paper. Hark! Was it cotton? Was it silk? No, it was spun from fluffy clouds of the heavens. Yes, it was bum wipe from the gods! My eyes watered, my lips trembled a silent, voiceless prayer. Oh my. I could so wear this!

The paper was thick and liciously soft, it felt like it was mink. I was used to having to tear the paper out by the teeth of the dispenser. Instead, the several sheets that I tore off ripped at the stitches, like it's supposed to.

I held my sheets up to the light, and it was like a solar eclipse. I couldn't seen anything. I also noticed that it had intricate patterns printed on the surface, like beautifully embroidered curtains at a luxury resort. I knew I was holding perfection. "My life is fulfilled. From this day forward, anything else that touches my bottom will feel like sandpaper." I think I cried.

See, that's why I hate my job. I thought I had obtained some status in life, working for a company that at least had toilet paper in every stall and on every floor, 24-7. Instead, I'm but an under-appreciated, over-worked, often snubbed little peon. I pain at my petty and pitiful existance. My life seems so meaningless now as I held the soft tissue to my face.

....I vow from now on to ALWAYS take the 4 flights of stairs up to the executive washroom, no matter the emergency.













posted by losir at 8:57 PM

I have a problem. I'm smart.

You know the lightbulb on the head of a cartoon character when they have a great idea? Well, mine's more like a floodlight. Yes, I'm that bright. You don't believe me?

For the record, I was doing 4th year university assignments for friends while I wasn't even in school. Even in highschool, I was doing uni. assignments for cash. Now you tell me, how messed up is that?!

Ah, but it gets better. I've also cramped in a whole text book in 2 nights, and came out with a B. That's not bad is it? It's not an A, but I did I mention that I slept half the time I was studying? Not enough?

How about grade 11 English, we were to write a creative story about anything we wanted. I didn't write one word. The teacher picked me to read what I wrote. So I picked up a piece of paper that had writing on it, and "read" my story. In effect, I made up the story as I spoke. How's that for cajones?? Still more?

I've conned my own brother into thinking that I am smart, when in actual fact he's the gifted one in the family. And that's not a figure of speech ladies and gents, he's certified smart. His IQ score proves it. If he of all people, think I'm bright. Then I gotta be, right? Top that!

But it's also my downfall. You see, I depend on my smarts too much. I think that I can understand anything within 5 minutes, and if I don't, I simply shrug my shoulders and give up. I figure if I can't get it, I don't see how Einstein could have either. So blah! C'mon, if the great LoSir can't decipher the meaning of something, there's really no use for that kind of stuff. Sure, it's great to prove that 1 photon bouncing off a mirrors vs another travelling in a straight line will arrive at the same time, which in theory faster than light travel is possible. But we really don't need quantum physics do we? It's not like we need that to make beer, do we?? Right. Didn't think so.

All kidding aside, I have to learn to be more patient whenever I learn anything new, and not just rely on the fact I'm not a complete idiot. I also have to respect that there are way too many people out there who are smarter than I ever will be, so I can be humble enough to be taught. I'm getting older, and my learning curve has plummetted to the levels of plankton and one celled creatures. *sigh*

I know I'm not really smart, I just like to think that I am. Please don't blame me, I've had an easy life.... that's my excuse.

....although quite frankly, I'm not as sheltered as I seem. Trust me. If we're comparing lives, I've had it plenty rough.

By the way, click below if you want to see how great my wisdom can be!

posted by losir at 3:29 PM

First things first, I've joined a webring. I didn't want to, but they already put me on, so I'm like sure. Here's the link. I just emailed them a picture of me, so I hope they'll update it soon enuf. It's an Asian based webring, and I didn't agree with that at first, but why not. I really don't care.







posted by losir at 2:23 PM

I wanted to respond to madcanadian's shout on my initial post about not needing to speak the language(s) to become its citizen.

Well, I guess I am....

Think. You're 50+ yrs old, force to live in a country not of your choosing. Your kids, because they love you, want you to move with them. In all honesty, you don't have much of a choice. Sure you could stay in the "old country", but how would you live? Who would be there for you when you're sick? What about money? So much harder when you live alone, even if you've lived there all your life.

It's not easy being older and living without your children, even if they've grown up. Those are the exact reasons why my Dad dragged the rest of the family to live in HK. It was his duty as a son to make sure his parents had family as they aged. This in spite of the fact my grandparents has 8 children, and at least 2 aunts and 2 uncles were still living in HK. They all wanted to be their parents in their golden years. That's his choice, and I see the wisdom in that.

Yes, learning a language and integrating into the culture is very important. I should know. I don't speak with an accent, and my writting skill is decent. I don't know French, that's something I'm not proud of. But there hasn't been one instance wheren I've actually needed it. If that means I can't live in France, oh well. I don't speak Mandarin either..... so China is out of the question too. :P

The old lady could learn. Sure. But how much can she learn? Even if she learns enough to pass the test, how usable is that in real life??

Officer: "What did the suspect look like?"
Old Lady: "There are 10 provinces and 3 territories in Canada."

Right, useful. Really. No, it is. At least she knows her geography.... Get real.

If you're able, and want to contribute to society, yes. Learn the language, and learn it well. There's no excuse for you. But you have to see everything in its context, there's no black and white. You could tell the lady was going to depend on her family for the rest of her life. There's no need for her to learn the language enough that she can be lost in any part of town and be able to get home; because she would never be alone without family.

Yes, it's a bad compromise. I totally agree. I see where you're coming from. But there are exception to every rule.

....that's why if anyone fails the test, s/he goes in front of the judge, and are asked several simple questions. If the responses are satisfactory, they're in like Flinn. Good enough for this future Canuck, eh?
posted by losir at 10:03 PM

Well I just finished writing my grueling citizenship exam. I waited a whole hour and a half to begin writing, and the test only took 3 minutes. Ugh, how efficient is that?

Frankly, I think the test is too easy. Canada needs to generate revenue? Just make the exam really hard, and each time you fail, there's an additional fee of $200 per re-test. That'll generate a lot of money from us immigrants. :) Hey, I should run for office, once I become a citizen. I mean, a one time fee of $200 bucks to process your citizenship application just isn't enough.

Incidently, there was one lady that got "kicked" out of the exam before it even began because she couldn't understand any English. I think that's crazy. Trust me, I've been to school with some born citizens who didn't know any English either.... except a lot of swear words. And frankly, what does speaking English/French have anything to do with becoming a citizen? There are many places where you can go, live your life freely and never need to use English/French. I KNOW for a fact at least in Chinatown, you could live there your whole life without more than "I caw cop on yu."

To be honest, I think the questions are stupid. Let's face it, how many Canadians can give you the dates of when each individual province joined the Confederation? Does it matter in the greater scheme of things? What about: What is the only official bilingual province in Canada? If you're jumping excitedly in the backrow, arm raised and go "Oh Oh", then name Quebec, please return your citizenship to the front desk. Don't let the beaver tail hit your butt on the way out.

Frankly, I think the questions should be as followed, in this sequence:

1) Do you have a job?
2) Do you pay taxes?
3) Is the biggest word in your vocabulary...."vocabulary"?
4) Do you think that the Frogs should have special rights above everyone else just because they clear their throats a lot and insist on going "we we" when they really mean "YES"?

If the sequence is Y, Y, N, N. Congratulations, welcome to Canada. Sing the song; say you love the Queen. Next.

....I mean, it's Canada for pete's sake, we don't even have an aircraft carrier or nothing in case of an invasion from the evil Americans. By the way, the only official bilingual province in Canada is New Brunswick, or was that Nova Scotia? I forgot already. Well I know it ain't Quebec!




posted by losir at 3:53 PM

Man, I really miss riding my bike. I miss the feeling of speed. I'm starting to hammer my little Golf GTI all over town. I'm going to get a speeding ticket if I keep this up. When I bought this car, I promised myself I wouldn't abuse the power. Whoops. Too late. Waste of gas too. I should know better. I guess I better learn some self-control.

Have I told you about my speeding ticket story? Hmm....

I got caught doing 120km/h in a 50 zone on my CBR600F3. I should have known better. I knew that the street had a radar trap, but it was April30th, my first real ride of the season. It was 9pm, on a Wednesday, after shooting pool with a couple of friends. The street was completely empty and devoid of both traffic and pedestrians. I'm not saying it's justified. But 120 on a bike is nothing, and if anything was to happen, it'd only be happening to me. (i.e. I wouldn't have hit anything or anyone else.)

Anyhow, as soon as I passed the radar trap, I turned to look for the cop, sure enough, there was one. His lights came on, and I slowed to about 55km/h. He pulled behind me and signaled me to stop. I do.

The first thing I do is remove my helmet. You always want the cop to see your face and hands. Always. They're not as nervous. So I remove my helmet, gloves and unzip my jacket. I also shut off my bike. That's another thing the cops like to see. The bike shut off, this way, they know you won't try to take off and run.

Anyhow, the officer asks me about how fast I was going, and that doncha know it's dangerous at those speeds.... if you hit a rock. God forbid.

Quick little side track. 120km/h hitting a rock with my front tire wouldn't do anything. Trust me. I know. Does your car go out of control when you hit a rock? The bike doesn't either. ok??

The cop gives me the "take it easy, save it for the track lecture." I agree. All cops want respect, and they don't like a smart mouth kid. So, I'm the last guy to say boo when the officer is into his lecture.

The Officer asks: "Where do you live?"

I go: "Right around the corner from here."

He interjects: "But your driver's license indicate you don't even live in THIS city."

Oh sick. I forgot that I had used someone else's address on my license plate so I could get cheaper insurance. So I tell him that.

Then he goes, "You're doing over 120 in a 50 zone, but I'll just say you're 10 over."

WOW! What great luck. What a nice guy. Thank you.

I reply, "That's great officer, I really appreciate that. I don't want to deceive you in any way either, but umm.... my sticker on my license plate is also expired."

Hey, there's no point in lying now, they're running a check on my sticker, and might just give me a fine for that as well. I don't need that.

The officer goes back into his cruiser, talking with his partner. They pull out a blue book that contains traffic laws. They talk for a bit amongst themselves, then gesture me over.

"Listen," says Officer 1. "What would you rather have? A non-moving violation that costs $90 in fines, or a $40 ticket, but your insurance might go up?"

Of course I take the steeper fine because I'd rather have a clean driving record.

Officer 2 pipes in. "No wait a minute. You can't get an expired license sticker violation if the bike isn't on the road. That means if we give you an expired sticker, you have to play $90 bucks, and your insurance may go up."

Well, needless to say, I took the 10 over charge.

Before we parted, Officer 1 asks: "Where do you work?". I tell them I work for the Company. He's like, "Oh, yeah, I want one of them things you make. Can I get it cheaper from you?" Cheaper?! Heck, I'd steal one for you if I have to. :)

Finally, Officer 1 says: "Listen, let me tell you a little secret. I've had 4 court appearances in last two weeks that I didn't bother to show up in. I'll tell you what, you fight the ticket, and I won't show up. Okay?" Okay?! OKAY?! Heck yeah, it's OKAY!!!

He even shows me how to book a court day and everything. How nice. True to his word, he never showed up.

Are there nice police officers? I guess there are.

....if only they were all that cool eh?
posted by losir at 4:20 PM

Yeehaw, Tuesday night v-ball is a blast and a half. I love the game. Unfortunately, some people are big time spoiled sports, and will whine and complain about every little thing. Granted, it's only fun when the rules are obeyed. But we're not a national team here people, if the guy does something that would not be kosher in Olympic volleyball, that doesn't mean we should all get upset. It's just a game.

I haven't had too much to say lately. I think overall I'm in a state of surreal existance. I'm constantly tired, I'm always on the edge, and Blogger is giving just enough problems that I don't feel like trying to see if I can update my page or not. I know, I know. Everyone using Blogger is probably getting the same problems, and they're getting their pages updated, why not mine?

Laziness. The greatest comeback to anything not accomplished, achieved, or done. I really am a lazy person. Give me the easy way out, and I'm a sure bet. :)

I must be missing the hard-working gene or something, because I love to veg!

...no funny tag line, too lazy. SEE?! It works.

posted by losir at 2:29 PM

Sheesh, I was totally tired last night. It all started with Sunday.

Sunday night at 10pm, Fido Dido, massivest, mute and I went to a local restaurant just to hang out and have a cup of HK styled milk tea. I knew I shouldn't have any caffeine. Normally, caffeine does nothing to me, I can sleep through anything. However, for some odd reason, I knew that if I had drank the tea, I would be wide away throughout the night. Not good if I have to work the next morn.

Going against my better judgement, I decided to have a glass anyway. Oops. I was up until 3am, watching TV, then I woke up at 7:30am and couldn't fall back asleep. I finally got out of bed at 8, and fired up the computer to play on it a little bit.

It's funny how I have no concept of time in the morning. It just feels like one long session of me thinking "I need more sleep." Except this time, I didn't, thanks to the tea. Anyhow, to make a long story short, I ended up at work at 10am regardless of the fact I was up at 8am. Odd huh?

The whole Monday though, was rather sick. As in literally. I got the chills, and I wanted to vomit the whole morning. What's worse is that I didn't have any breakfast, so I was doubly hungry. I finally felt better after lunch.

Well, that's my sordid excuse for not updating my journal yesterday. Incidently, sometimes it looks like I've skipped a day, when I really haven't. Sometimes I don't start my blog until late at night, and then when I post it, it's past 12am.

....stuff happens. posted by losir at 10:27 AM

I'm totally addicted to www.infatuasian.com. It's too funny not to play along. There are some really not so pretty girls that got at least a 6/10, which I'd give a 2 or 3 max; and some I wanted to give 10's to, but only got a ~6 rating from others. I guess my tastes are somewhat dissimilar with the rest of the voting public. Anyway, it's a great way to pass several minutes of your day. At least I find it extremely funny, especially with friends, so we can have a good laugh at other people's expense. Hey, it's really just in good fun.

I saw Hannibal on Friday. Rarely now do I watch a movie on opening day now. I'm no longer suckered into the hype of being the first one(s) to see a movie, no matter how good it's supposed to be. And now I understand why. Hannibal is a borefest, at least to me. There wasn't the tension between Hannibal and Sterling that was so subtle but evident throughout "The Silence of the Lamb". I won't describe or hint at any parts of the movie, because I love to discover a movie, and want to know as little as possible. So many flics now put their best parts in trailers/commercials, that it really irritates me when I finally watch it, the only funny/exciting/dramatic/sad/shocking parts have already been shown a billion times. I end up just watching filler. No fun.

Back to Hannibal. Do I still recommend it? I guess, simply because so many people will watch it, and then when they talk about it, at least you can say "Yeah, wasn't that something??" Sometimes I can be such a social lemming.

I have some bad news. My friend completely struck out with the girl of his pursuit. The fat lady sang a not so pretty operetta about the champion of cluelessness when it came to the opposite sex. Over, finito, 'c-ya', ciao, bye, mmmkthx.

I'm on my workout kick again. That means I'm working out like 4-5 times a day, up to 2 hours each session. I don't get much bigger (still getting back into the routine), but I sure as heck get tired. I don't even know why? Working out is so time consuming, and frankly I was never that vain. I know I'm not super buff or anything, so why do I do it anyway? Self torture? Well it sure feels like it.

I guess part of it is because I'm pretty bored during the weekdays. I don't do much else after work anyway, so why not workout. The Company does have a gym, although the weights aren't sufficient, I can still get a good pump. Also, I guess I do see results, and it does look pretty good. Again, I'm no Adonis, but then, I'm not a stick figure either. Good enough. Lastly, I have to say I enjoy the mental toughness that comes with working out. When you can't seem to lift that last rep, even with a spot, you have to dig down deep to summon mental strength to coax your fatigued and burnt muscle for that last push. I need that kind of discipline, especially in life, where I've become rather stagnant in my job.

We had some really bizarre weather patterns this week. Thursday was the 25 cm snow storm (I thought it was 15, I was wrong). Friday rained all day with a high of 8. By Friday night, temperature dropped to like -8, with 120km/h winds. Wow, that was freaky driving on the highway. Saturday had intermitten super sunshine, with near white-out condition, all within the hour. I'd be in one part of town, where it was really bright, then 5 minutes later down the road, I can't see 10 feet in front of me. Odd feeling, that.

Questionaire time. I wonder what you would have done.....

I'm sitting in my car, at a parking lot spot, ready to leave. Across from me, and one spot to the left, a Honda Odessy van was backing up. Beside me, was a Dodge Caravan. The Odessy backs up EXTREMELY close to the Caravan, and I'm thinking "Wow, this person really knows his/her car. That was close."

However, the Odessy still didn't have enough room to get out, and proceeds to move forward and backup for a second try. This time, as the minivan is backing up, I'm like "You're gonna hit, you're gonna hit, you're gonna...." *BAM*

The person moves the van, and hesitates, wondering whether to leave or not. Finally, the Odessy backs up, and out pops a woman. She's about to leave anyway, and spots me. She comes over, and asks "Did I just hit you?"

Me: "No, you hit the Caravan."

Her: "Oh," inspecting the Caravan. "It doesn't look too bad. I'm so stupid though. I'm tired, and I was on the cell phone, I should know better."

Me: Silence.

Her: "Did I hit it hard?"

Me: "Actually, I didn't see it very well." Liar! I didn't want to get involved though, she looks like a nice lady....

Her: "Well in that case, it looks okay."

Me: Silence.

She scurries back into the Odessy, and drives off. I didn't know what to do. I just witnessed an accident, and the offending vehicle leaving the scene of a crime. This by definition is considered a hit and run. It is a criminal offence, in theory that is. Please note that since it was in a public parking lot, it is considered to be private property. Therefore, even if the cops were called, they could do nothing. Furthermore, the insurance companies wouldn't consider this an at fault insurance case, that means each person's insurance company would take care of its own client, and after paying their detuctable, both parties insurance would likely shoot up.

What I'm saying is this. If you were me, what would you have done? Citizen's arrest wouldn't have done much, for as far as I know, a "citizen's arrest" does almost nothing, as legally, you're not allowed to touch the person, or he can charge you with assault. Here's a sidetrack tidbit -> In Canada, a security guard cannot touch you while making an arrest unless you make contact with him first, which he then can plead self-defense. He doesn't have any special rights, just because he wears a unifrom with the patch "security" sewn onto the arm. At least that's what I learned in Grade 12 Law. Or rather, what I remember to be the truth. I could be wrong though. :)

Now, back to the hit and run. So? Would you have just left, like me? My initial gut reaction was to run into Chapters (where the owner would likely be, because of the location of the parking spot) and get one of the sales to broadcast the Caravan's license plate, and say it was hit. But on hindsight, I should have suggested to the lady to leave a contact number on the windshield of the Caravan, and have them sorted out. But even if she left a number, it is still considered hit and run. They might not charge you, but if you do not remain at the scene of a crime, that's what it is.

Anyway, I feel for the Caravan owner, it looked brand new. I wonder what would happen if someone hit my car without at least leaving a note? I would be so upset.

....Then again, it's only a car.




posted by losir at 2:16 AM