Tired of getting rejected from artist residencies?

Apply for Boston's Least-Selective Artist Residency!

Our rolling applications are ALWAYS open and VERY EASY.

HOW IT WORKS:
If accepted, you will be given free roam of beautiful Boston Common for 50 days.

The only time you are required to leave is between 11:30 PM and 6 AM each day. Otherwise, you're welcome to spend as much time there as you like.
Make art or not, go ahead, I don't care, and I absolutely don't want to see any of it because, come on, if you were any good, you wouldn't need this.

Honestly, if you're here, you should probably consider another line of work. There are far too many bad artists, why not become a volunteer firefighter? Then you'd be doing something you can be proud of, instead of wasting a bunch of time and money making something someone (probably you, in a few years) will eventually leave on the curb outside your overcrowded apartment.

If you're still reading, and didn't get the message (QUIT!), then pay close attention because here are the rules for applicants:

In order to be considered for Boston's Least-Selective Artist Residency, you must mail me a handwritten letter asking how my day is going, along with a SASE (for your acceptance letter) and an additional first-class stamp (for me). Do not send me any art!

If you follow the above instructions, whether your letter is good or not, you will be accepted into the program and, in addition to the residency, you will be paid one shiny penny at the end of each day. In order to pick up your penny, you must find me, wherever I am, at 11:30 PM (I will probably be sleeping, and won't want to be awakened).

Thus, at the end of 50 days, I will have repaid you the 50 cents it cost you to give me my stamp.
This program is basically a way for me to buy stamps on credit, without having to go all the way to the post office.

All interested parties are encouraged to apply!
�We're an equal opportunity employer. All applicants will be considered for employment without attention to race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, veteran or disability status.�
Good luck! I look forward to receiving your stamps!