“Nix, have you seen Kian?”

“Nope.” Nicky looked sympathetically at Shane, who seemed rather worried. “But Shane, he’s a big boy, he can take care of himself.”

“I know I know it’s just… we had a bit of a fight yesterday and he seemed upset this morning. And I never got a chance to talk to him cause of those separate interviews and stuff.”

“Have you tried Mark’s?”

“Nope, going there now. Thanks Nicky.”

Shane knocked lightly on the door to Mark’s room.

“Hang on!” Shane heard a strange thud from inside the door before it opened, and a sleepy looking Mark was before him.

“I’m sorry if you were sleeping. Have you seen Kian?”

Mark stifled a yawn. “Just dozed off. Last time I saw him he was headed for the bar. I thought you were going with him?”

“No, no. Thanks Mark, I’ll look there. Need to talk to him. Sleep well.”

Mark smiled understandingly. “Good luck Shane.”

Shane looked around the crowded bar as he entered. It took a while before he spotted Kian alone in a corner, staring into space, four empty glasses beside him on the table, a half drunken one in his hand.

“Kian?” Shane said gently as he reached the table.

Kian slowly looked up at him, his gaze cloudy and unsteady. He didn’t quite seem to register Shane’s presence as he slowly brought the glass up to his mouth.

Shane took hold of Kian’s hand and prised the glass from him. “Christ Kian, you’re completely smashed. Let’s get you out of here.”

“Ummm…” Kian said, and Shane was unsure if it was meant to be comprehensible or if Kian knew at all what was happening.

“Right Ki, stand up for me. Come on.” He grabbed his arms and half lifted Kian off the chair, praying that he would be able to get Kian back to the room by himself. Kian was very unsteady, but at least he stayed on his feet.

Still, it was a near miracle that Shane managed to get Kian into the lift. When they got to their floor he had to half-drag Kian to their room, and he was relieved when they were inside and he could sit Kian down on the bed and lock the door behind them.

“Gonne be sick…” Kian whispered as Shane turned back after locking the door.

Shane sighed and pulled Kian to his feet, pushing him into the bathroom just in time. He steadied Kian and rubbed his back as he seemingly brought up everything he’d eaten that day again. As far as he knew Kian had never before drunk to the point of being sick, and this worried him.

After a while Kian had nothing more to bring up, but nonetheless he continued to dry heave, tears streaming down his face. Shane got a face cloth and wet it with cold water, pulling Kian to him he wiped his face and neck.

“Hush Kian, everything’s ok, relax baby, relax…”

”Baby I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
The things they do, the things they say

But baby I'll wipe away those bitter tears
I'll chase away those restless fears
That turn your blue skies into grey”

After a while Kian had calmed down enough for Shane to help him to his feet and walk him back to the bed. He left Kian sitting on the edge as he went to get a glass of water and a fresh towel.

Kian didn’t take the glass as Shane handed it to him. “You’ll have to help me.” He said quietly, indicating to his shaking hands in his lap.

Shane just sat down on the bed and pulled Kian to him before putting the glass to his lips, carefully tilting it so Kian wouldn’t choke. When Kian was finished he put the empty glass on the bedside table and started dabbing the cool, damp towel against Kian’s neck and wrists.

“Kian, I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean all those things.”

Kian looked up at him, his gaze steadier as he was starting to sober up. “I’m sorry too.” His tears started again. “But it’s not that…”

Shane pulled Kian closer and rocked him. “Is it all this shit people are writing in the papers?” He didn’t wait for an answer before he continued with conviction. “Don’t you listen to those feckers, Ki, they’re just sad bastards who’ve nothing better to do than belittle other people.”

Kian sniffed. “Oh, Shane… I just want them to leave me alone… I can’t take it…”

Shane leaned forward and made a half-hearted attempt at kissing the tears away from Kian’s cheeks, tasting the salt and somehow sharing in Kian’s pain. “Don’t you listen to them.” He repeated. “You’re wonderful and I love you, don’t you worry about what they think…”

Kian smiled through his tears. “Oh, Shane, I love you too…” He rested his head against Shane’s chest and soon fell asleep.

”Why worry, there should be laughter after the pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now”

Shane woke the next morning with the sun shining in on his face. His neck was stiff and his back was sore, he had fallen asleep sitting with Kian crawled up in his arms. He shifted carefully to try and avoid waking Kian.

It didn’t work and Kian woke up with a groan, opening his eyes only to shut them again fast. “Shit,” he mumbled, bringing his right hand up to cover his eyes. “Shit, it hurts.”

Shane smiled pitifully. “Here Ki,” he said softly, “I have some aspirin in my bag. Just let me move there.”

Kian reluctantly shifted so Shane could get up. As soon as he moved it felt like the world was spinning around him. He kept his eyes shut as he leaned back against the soft pillows, praying he wouldn’t be sick again.

Shane handed him two tablets and a glass of water, and Kian took them appreciatively. Shane then sat down on the bed and pulled Kian to him again.

”Baby when I get down I turn to you
And you make sense of what I do
I know it isn't hard to say
But baby just when this world seems mean and cold
Our love comes shining red and gold
And all the rest is by the way”

They sat quietly for a long while before Kian finally gauged that the headache had subdued enough for him to open his eyes. As he did so, he met Shane’s concerned gaze.

“Thanks…” he whispered. “Thank you for everything.”

“No problem. But Ki, you know you can always talk to me, so don’t scare me like that again. For a while last night I thought you were going to loose consciousness all together.”

Kian felt Shane’s arms tighten around him and realised what Shane was trying to say. He looked slightly ashamed. “I’m sorry Shay, I don’t know why I didn’t come to talk. I guess… it just all came down on top of me at once. I was just going for a drink or two but… it got a little out of hand…”

Shane smiled. “A little! But seriously Ki, come to me next time. I mightn’t stop you, but at least I can drink with you…” He winked at Kian.

Kian chuckled softly, then grimaced as the dull ache in his head intensified. “Ow!”

“Hey, take it easy.” Shane said, before leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on Kian’s lips, moving to his nose, his eyes-lids, his forehead, back to his lips. “I love you…” he whispered in Kian’s ear as he broke the kiss.

Kian opened his eyes to meet his gaze again. “And I love you.” He smiled as he felt happy again, safe in the knowledge that he had Shane to protect him.

”Why worry, there should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now”