"Don’t... don’t close your heart to how you feel

Dream, and don’t be afraid the dream’s not real

Close your eyes, pretend it’s just the two of us again

Make believe this moment’s here to stay"

Kian gently traced the outline of Shane's face with his index finger. Shane looked at him but Kian wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Kian?" Shane tried softly. Kian looked at him but withdrew his hand. "You know I don't want to do this Ki. Tell me I don't have to do this..." The sentence ended in a mere whisper.

Kian backed away a little. "No, Shane. You can't, you're too far in now." He paused. "I'm your fucking best man Shane, I can't let you run away."

Shane nodded with a sigh. "You're right... I just, oh God Ki, you know what I mean."

Kian moved closer again and touched Shane's knee lightly. "I know Shay. I want it too, I just can't do that. It would just be so, so wrong."

Shane leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, taking Kian's hand he gently kissed it. "How about one last night?" he whispered, keeping his eyes closed.

Kian leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"Touch... touch me the way you used to do

I know tonight could be all I’ll have with you

From now on, you’ll be with someone else instead of me

So tonight, let’s fill this memory

For the last time"

Kian's hand left Shane's and crept behind his neck, his other hand gliding under Shane's shirt. Shane moaned softly, deepening the kiss as he embraced his lover.

Whren they had to let go for air Kian pulled Shane further down the bed and gently pushed him, laying down on top of him for another kiss. Hands travelled, and worked, and soon their clothes were but a pile on the floor.

Kian suddenly let go of Shane and sat up.

Shane looked at him and smiled. "There's some in the bottom drawer."

"Shane, are you sure this is wise?"

"Yeah, if it wasn't you it'd be someone else, you know." He demonstratively turned over onto his stomach.

Kian nodded. "Ok." He reached over the side off the bed and found the round blue and white tin in the drawer.

Kian opened the tin slowly and placed the lid on the bed side table. He looked at the open tin for a while then he looked at Shane.

Shane began to be frustrated. "Kian, please, I need this. I can't let go if you don't..."

Kian nodded slowly and his attentions returned to the tin. Dipping his fingers in it he got one finger inside of Shane without any problem. When it came to the second Shane flinched slightly.

"You're so tight." Kian murmured softly. Discarding the tin to the bedside table he used his free hand to soothingly stroke Shane's lower back.

"It's been a long time and I've missed it." Shane stated.

"Yeah." Kian agreed, gently trying for a third finger. "You've got to learn to live without it now.

"

"Don't remind of-" He was cut off as Kian's probing fingers found what they were looking for.

Kian didn't reply, but withdrew his fingers and found the tin again to prepare himself.

"Hold me now, don’t cry

Don’t say a word

Just hold me now

And I will know

Though we’re apart, we’ll always be together

Forever in love

What do you say when words are not enough?"

"Are you ready?" Kian finally asked. Shane had turned onto his back and was watching him.

"Yeah. I want to see you." Shane said.

"Ok." Kian replied, shifting a little so he could lean down and give Shane a tender kiss as he entered him. Shane wimpered a little but it was more because of need than of pain. He wrapped his arms around Kian to encourage him.

Although they both wished the moment could last forever it couldn't and they came together, after which they collapsed, spent and breathless. The just layed silently for a while, holding onto eachother and not ever wanting to let go.

"Time... time will be kind once we’re apart

And your tears... tears will have no place in your heart

I wish I... I could say how much I’ll miss you when you’re gone

How my love for you will go on and on"

It wasn't until Shane shivered slightly that Kian came back from the blissful moment. He retrived the duvet from the floor and pulled it over them both.

It was Shane who spoke first. "I'll really miss you." He said sincerely.

"Of course, I'll miss you too." Kian replied, kissing the tip of Shane's nose.

"I shouldn't have let this happen. I shouldn't have used her, I shouldn't have pulled her into this."

"Shane, don't blame yourself. I don't blame you. If anything I blame all the people who can't accept people like us, but I don't blame you. You only did what you had to do."

"I didn't have to. I had a choice. I should have told mam and dad."

"I don't think I'd ever be able to tell mine so it wouldn't have mattered."

Shane looked at him. "Oh, God, you're right. I'm sorry."

"Hold me now, don’t cry

Don’t say a word

Just hold me now

And try to understand that I hope at last you’ve found

What you’ve been searching for

And though I won’t be there anymore

I will always love you"

They were silent for a moment. I single teardrop rolled down Shane's cheek. Kian caught it with the tip of his finger.

"Shane, don't. Please." Kian said gently, close to tears himself. Shane tried to object put Kian placed his index finger on Shane's lips to silence him.

"Shane, I want you to be happy. Tomorrow, you have to be happy. You have to believe this is for the best. And don't cry honey..."

Shane sniffed and tried to blink away the mist in his eyes. "I'm sorry Ki, I just, I love you so much..."

Kian embraced him and pulled Shane to his chest to soothe him. "I love you too." He whispered, "and I will always love you, don't ever forget that."

Shane buried his face in Kian's chest and nodded before he slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Hold me now, don’t cry

Don’t say a word

Just hold me now

And I will know

Though we’re apart, we’ll always be together

Forever in love

What do you say when words are not enough?

What can I say now my words are now enough?"