Kian closed the door behind him, carefully so he wouldn’t wake Shane up. He’d barely reached the bed when the tears came. He lay down and buried his face in his pillow to muffle out the sounds. He cried for so long that he thought he wouldn’t have any tears left, but they still kept coming.

"Kian?" the soft voice and a hand on his shoulder almost made his hearth jump up in his throat. He turned to face Shane, looking straight into those hazel-greens that were now filled with concern and worry.

Shane reached out his hand and caught a teardrop just before it fell, lightly touching Kian’s cheek. "What’s the matter?"

Kian was silent, staring straight ahead. Shane placed a hand on his shoulder. "Kian, talk to me."

"There’s nothing to talk about Shane… it’s nothing!" Kian’s voice sounded desperate. He wanted to tell someone, he just couldn’t.

"You’ve disappeared every night since we arrived in London – that’s almost two weeks – you come back late and you cry yourself to sleep. Not only that but you stir and whimper all through the night. I don’t see that as normal behaviour you’d carry out if everything was fine." Kian kept staring straight ahead.

Shane moved his hand and pulled Kian into his embrace. Kian bit his lips slightly; Shane’s touch awoke the pain again. Shane slowly ran his hand over Kian’s back, and the now so familiar sound of Kian’s whimper cut through the air.

Shane pulled away and looked into Kian’s eyes. Kian trembled slightly as Shane reached out his hand for Kian’s T-shirt. Kian's mind told him to pull away, but his body didn’t seem to be working on the same wavelength right then. Shane gasped at the sight of Kian’s back and pulled Kian’s top off completely.

"Here, lay down on your stomach…" Kian was shaking as he lay down. "I’ll be back in 2 secs, just stay there…" Shane smiled reassuringly.

Shane came back with a bowl of water and a face cloth. He sat down beside Kian and ran his fingers through his hair, wetting the face cloth he started wiping off Kian’s back.

"Kian, who did this to you?" he felt anger welling up inside him, knowing Kian’s pain and hurt was deeper than the wounds on his back. Kian kept silent.

"Kian, look, just tell me where you got the whip-mark’s from?"

"It’s not whip marks…" Kian mumbled.

"So what is it then?" Shane finished on Kian’s back and put the bowl and the cloth aside. "Huh?"

Kian suddenly broke down. "Ok, ok, it is whip marks! You wanna know how I got them? Ok, I’m gay and into bondage. Now, are you happy?!" Shane looked a bit shocked and Kian covered his face with his hands while he cried.

It didn’t take Shane too long to re-compose himself. He wrapped a duvet around Kian’s shaking body and held him tight, rocking him but saying nothing. Kian needed to cry properly.

Kian’s sobs subsided and he lay drained in Shane’s arms. Shane stroke his hair and looked at him. He looked so vulnerable, far from the happy, confident Kian he knew.

"Kian, let’s get you into bed and we’ll talk tomorrow… you look like you could do with some serious sleep…" Kian nodded slowly and let Shane remove his trousers and put him into bed.

"Here, if you lie on your side it won’t hurt that much…" Kian smiled as he realised Shane remembered that Kian couldn’t sleep lying on his stomach. Shane sat with Kian, stroking his hair as if to soothe him, until he fell asleep.

Chapter 2 >>