"Leave, and let me go

You're the past

For me right now

Carry on, carry on, you must stay strong"

Kian sank to the floor, a look of pain crossing his face. Shane watched him and didn’t really know what to do. His heart was breaking and knowing that it was him who had caused Kian all this pain made it even worse.

"Kian…" he whispered.

"Go away Shane!" Shane didn’t move.

"Kian… I’m sorry, I-"

"Shane, just fuck off! I don’t wanna hear any of your bloody excuses!!!"

Shane sighed. "Ok, I’ll go. I’ll be at Nicky’s…" he left abruptly.

Shane stopped in the corridor. He didn’t know what to do. He loved David, with all his heart, but he still couldn’t bear seeing Kian like this. He sighed and made his way to Nicky’s room, hoping Kian would be strong enough to get through this.

"Leave and let me go

I won't think

Of you right now

Carry on, carry on, must stay strong"

The next week dragged by for Shane. He might love someone else, but he missed Kian.

Kian hadn’t spoken to him since that faithful night he’d confessed he loved someone else, and even though Shane did his best to put Kian out of his mind he couldn’t help the empty feeling when he needed someone to talk to. Phone conversations with David just weren’t the same as the long chats him and Kian used to have cuddled up close together at night.

"Someone else will keep you warm from now on

Someone else will keep you safe from the storm

But I'll be there with you wherever you go

So you'll never be alone"

Kian sat looking out over the city in the window of his London hotel room. It was hard to accept that Shane had left him. For the past week he had woken up in the morning and said something to "Shane"… just to realise he wasn’t there.

It was just unfair; him and Shane had been together since they were just 15 years of age. Now Shane had been prepared to throw away the 6 year long relationship for someone he’d just met. He’d said he loved this new man. Kian let a quiet sob escape him. Just a few weeks back Shane had said he loved Kian.

"I'm going where the wind blows

Going where the lost ones go"

"Kian, we have to go!" Anto’s voice came through the door, accompanied by a series of knocks.

"Ok, I’m coming." Kian left the window, made a last check to make sure he had everything, then made his way down to the lobby where everyone else were already waiting. He was aware of Shane’s eyes on him, determined not to let Shane know how much he missed him. His pride would never forgive Shane, second chances wasn’t a word to be found in his vocabulary.

"Ok," Anto said, "Nicky, Mark and Bryan, you go with Paul in the first car. Kian and Shane, you come with me." A series of nods and OK’s followed. Kian just knew this car ride was going to be torture.

"I will be with you...

I'm losing the love I've found

Crying without a song

Where have you gone"

Shane looked out on the changing country outside the window. They were going to some other city, he failed to remember what one, and at the moment they were driving on a quite small country road. It reminded him of home.

Home. Tears started to roll down his cheeks. If he had been home, and Westlife wouldn’t have existed, he would probably never have met David. Never make that one stupid mistake that had lead to loosing the true love of his life. He missed Kian, and he’d tried to tell him, but Kian had just turned away. Not that he could blame him.

"I will be with you...

You were my fool for love

Simply the high above

You were the one

I will be with you..."

Kian was resting his head against the back of the seat, his eyes closed. He hoped this car ride would be done with soon. It was pure torture being this close to Shane, without being able to touch him and tell him everything his heart longed to say.

"I'm going where the wind blows

Going where the lost ones go"

Kian could feel the tears burning behind his eyelids. He felt that Shane was hurting, even though he couldn’t see him, it was just something in the air. Some instinct within him. He just wanted to reach out and hold Shane, forgive him and make a fresh start. But, he couldn’t. He just wouldn’t be able to trust his heart in Shane’s hands again, not after he had shattered it so fiercely.

"Leave, and let me go

Leave the pact

Just like we've known

Carry on, carry on, you must stay strong"

It was getting dark, a heavy rain was falling outside the window now, and Shane’s tears weren’t any calmer than the raging storm.

He felt Kian’s despair; he wanted to hold him tight and kiss him until his body was so drained he wouldn’t be able to feel any emotion anymore. Until he was all dizzy and gave himself over so he could make sweet love to him throughout the night.

"Nothing ever looks the same without light

Nothing ever seems to quite turn out right

When you realize that you have been loved

Then you'll never be alone"

"Oh, Jesus!" The voice brought Shane back to reality and he turned his head to look forward and caught a glimpse of the cow standing in the middle of the road.

The driver hit the breaks and turned the car violently. It slipped out of control and seconds later it hit the stone wall by the side of the road with such and impact everything just blacked out.

"I'm going where the wind blows

Going where the lost ones go"

A soft whimper woke Kian up. His head and shoulder were hurting and the events of the crash slowly came back to him. The car had hit the wall on the driver’s side; from what Kian could make out there wasn’t too big a chance the driver had survived.

It was hard to say with Anto, but at least he wasn’t conscious. He turned his head towards Shane, who was crouched up against the window, random whimpers escaping him. Kian slowly undid his own seatbelt and managed to crawl over to him.

"I will be with you...

I'm losing the love I've found

Crying without a song

Where have you gone"

"Shane?" he tried softly. "Shane, can you hear me?" He could make out a vague nod and Shane turned his head, pain and fear evident in his eyes. Shane had been sitting behind the driver and Kian could easily tell he was badly hurt, his breathing seemed very irregular.

"It. Hurts. Ki…" it was a struggle speaking.

Kian took the chance to try and keep him with him till help came. "Where?"

"My. Chest. And. My. Head." Kian brought his hand up to the cut on Shane’s face, the tips of his fingers lightly touching it, as a cold fear went through his body. Wasn’t it right that broken ribs could puncture the lungs? Or even damage more important organs? What if… he tried to put the thought out of his mind.

Shane’s head fell against Kian’s shoulder. "How. Long. Do. You. Think. We. Have. To. Wait. For. Help?"

"I dunno Shane…" he sighed, praying it wouldn’t be too long.

"I will be with you...

You were my fool for love

Simply the high above

You were the one

I will be with you..."

"I. Love. You." Shane said suddenly.

"I love you too." Kian replied as he looked down at Shane. He couldn’t bear to see all that pain as he bravely fought to stay alive until help came. "Shane, maybe you should give in…"

Shane blinked. "I. Don’t. Want. To. Leave. You." He whispered.

"I know but… you can wait for me in heaven and I will come and join you…" Shane nodded, he was getting too weak to speak. "We don’t even know if the help is on its way yet," Kian continued.

"Ok." Shane whispered after a while. Kian carefully pulled him tighter. "I’ll. Miss. You."

Kian smiled. "I’ll miss you too, but someday we’ll meet again." Shane nodded and closed his eyes. Kian felt his body weight change and let his tears fall. Now he was left alone fighting until help arrived.

But he would make it; knowing Shane was there to watch over him. And one day, they would be reunited, and that time it would be forever.

"Leave, and let me go

Baby, I can't come along

Carry on, carry on, you must stay strong"