Shane. I hate him so much. I always hated him. Why? Because he’s everything I ever wanted to be. Cute, smart, funny, popular…

I hate him so much, and most of all I hate him because he won’t fuck off out of my mind! He seems to be invading more and more of my thoughts.

He has the other lads on his side, too. I’m the loner – and it’s his fault. If he didn’t charm his way into fucking everyone’s heart then maybe someone would notice me, too!

Kian. Of course, he has known Shane the longest. He’s pretty much like Shane’s substitute kid-brother. The shadow that seems to trail after Shane everywhere and admires everything he does. I hate him, too.

Bryan. Collectively, him and Shane are pathetically idolised by Kian, of course. I don’t think that Shane was too keen on Bryan at first, however, until they started writing songs together and all of a sudden became so darn close. So, now I hate Bryan as well.

Nicky. Even his name being mentioned makes me see red. He came and just flirted his way straight into Shane’s fan club. I hate him most of all.

Nicky is Shane’s best friend. Apparently. They go on ‘Shnicky Nights’ together, well; they do pretty much everything together. Only good thing is that it pushes Kian out of the way. That’s probably good for him, I must admit.

On the other hand, I know I don’t really hate Shane. I could never hate him. Mainly because I love him, have loved him since the first time I set my eyes on him. Singing in a musical I witnessed a very young Shane with all that talent. Since then he’s fascinated me – I even started starring in musicals to get closer to him. It never worked, however.

---

I’ll be damned – now someone is knocking on my door and interrupting me! For fecks sake, suddenly I can get no peace around here.

"What the-" I stop mid-sentence as I throw the door open to find the most gorgeous creature standing before me. "Shane?" I finish, somewhat lamely.

He shifts a little. Is he nervous? Does Shane ever get nervous? "Err… hi. I, Kian… you see, me and Kian had this argument and he threw me out."

If it wasn’t for the fact that Shane looks mighty upset I could laugh. Kian threw him out? "Oh." Well, what could I possibly say?

"Yeah. Erm, I was thinking, maybe I could crash with you? Bry and Nix are down the bar and I don’t wanna venture down there… I’ll sleep on the floor and be real quiet; you won’t know I’m here. I won’t even complain if you have the TV on full volume."

I’m almost laughing now. Is this really Shane Filan standing right outside my door, pleading with me to let him stay – his bedclothes clutched tightly in his arms?

I shrug, trying to act indifferent although I can feel myself starting to loose ground, and open the door a bit more to let him in. "Sure, no problem."

He steps through and puts his covers in a corner, "Thank you, Mark. You’re great, you know that?"

No, Shane, I don’t know that. That might be because no one ever told me, you know. I bite my tongue, I can’t be that mean to him. "Sure. What are friends for?"

He smiles a tiny smile. "So, you wanna crash now, or?"

"Actually, I was thinking of watching TV. The Nutty Professor is on."

He shifts a little, again. "So, mind if I watch it too, then?"

I shake my head. "Of course not."

---

So, now I’m sat uncomfortably close to the man of my desires, and every time he chuckles I can feel a thrill surging down my spine. I put my pillow in my lap to hide the fact that my excitement is growing.

He drops his head to the side, and it is now resting against my shoulder. God, I never hated him this much before!

He yawns, letting out the cutest little sound I have ever heard. Oh, God, this is torture.

"Mark?" His voice is slow, sleepy, but with a hint of something else, too, if I’m not mistaken.

"Yah?" What does he want?

He shifts and sits up. I catch his view in the corner of my eye and realise that he staring at his hands. I turn to look at him. "Is something wrong?"

"Mark, you see…" He looks so lost and confused that all feelings of hate are gone in an instant. "You see…" He starts again, "I kinda… you know…. Have these feelings…" He looks up at me.

I nod. "Uh-huh."

He shifts uncomfortably. "Feelings… for you." His gaze is back on his hands.

"For me?" I echo in surprise. "Like, you hate me or what?" He couldn’t love me, could he?

"No, I don’t hate you, Mark. I love you." He finishes the sentence in a barely audible mumble.

"You love me?"

He nods, sadly. "I’m sorry…"

I smile, to myself since he is still finding his hands so interesting. I reach my hand out and put it under his chin to make him look up. Fear flashes across his face.

"Shane…" I try to convey everything I feel as I look at him, and he visibly relaxes.

His bottom lip quivers slightly. "You, you… don’t hate me?" His hazel eyes are cloudy and I can tell emotions are running wild somewhere in there.

I shake my head. "No, Shane, I could never hate you." I take a deep breath; it’s now or never. "I love you."