Fixing this horrible mistake of nature, a mistake that has provoked many a suicidal thoughts in me...well, fixing it costs a lot of money, ridiculous amounts. Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) aka Sex Change surgery, costs around $15,000 Canadian, and there are other costs. I've known people to spend over $50,000 on this. I'm hoping I can keep mine under $20,000 but I don't yet know what procedures I'll need and what all the costs of things like name change and maybe voice lessons will be.

I'm unemployed and unable to work due to a number of things. Depression, an unnamed learning disability (they tested me, said I had one, but couldn't tell me what it was!), undiagnosed social disorder, undiagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder (I have trouble getting useful info from doctors :( ), asthma, environmental allergies and probably some stuff I've forgotten to mention.

Right now I'm living on welfare and have been for some time. I've tried to work, I'm not lazy, it's just if somehow I do get a job, it always ends badly and quickly, usually as a result of me not being able to perform due to my learning disability or my depression and anxiety (I get panic attacks too, did I mention that? :P). So I'm stuck like this, at least for now. I am working with doctors and social services to try and get me tested for those undiagnosed/unknown things as well as get me treated for them and my depression too, but it's a very slow process :(

So I need money, and having just about run out of options, I've decided to make a plea for help on the internet. Please, if you have money you don't need, and you care enough to want to help someone, please click the paypal link below and send me some cash. You're perfectly welcome to drop me a line and get to know me, though you may not like me very much :/ well, maybe you will, people tell me I'm likeable, I think I complain too much, but I know I have plenty to complain about, still, I try not to bother my friends too much. If you look on my LJ (LiveJournal) to get to know me you won't learn much, I keep most of the heavy posts set to friends-only, meaning you have to be a livejournal member and be on my friends list to see it.

Also, I'm a fur, you probably don't know what that is so I'll attempt to find some info on it and add those links later. It occurs to me that I might get a better response to this page if I left that out, and left out some of the more "exotic" aspects of my personality, however, it's hard enough for me to ask people for money, to do it dishonestly would be much harder for me, so I'm trying not to hide anything.

I hope I've caught your attention, and hope you'll decide to help me....

Below the paypal link there should be a number of links, these contain information about my problems, though trust me, text cannot explain the pain these problems cause.....

Thank you for your time

July 31, 2006
Hello again. I'm doing a lot better now, i think. My medication is helping, I have a bf and this time it's not internet-based/long distance. We're hoping to move out of Nova Scotia within the next 6 months. I'd really like to go to college, at least community college. But I'll have to jsut get a job for a while after we move instead. Maybe we'll come into some money somehow, maybe this site with start really helping, maybe some other stroke of luck, i dunno. I still need surgery badly, especially with being in a relationship and all. I'm living at my dad's house and have been for a few months. I wasn't supposed to stay this long, but if it allows me to leave the province and really have a fresh start then i'm gonna try and stick it out, what else can I do?

I would like to thank those who have donated so far. It might not add up to a great amount right now, but maybe one day it'll be the differance maker. Thank You
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It's now January 12, 2006. I'm now living alone again, still on welfare. I don't have home internet or phone and no cable. I get by, coming to the library for a maximum of 2 hours per day on the net to keep in touch with my freinds and loved ones, most of whom don't live anywhere near me. I'vehad some troubles where I am now, but i'd rather let it slide then have to move AGAIN. I'm so tired of moving all the time.

I'm on medication for my anxiety now, and it's helped my depression too. I still get a lot of stress and some days are jsut as unbearable as ever, but when I have no-horrible days, they are sometimes actually GOOD days! I'm actually capable of smiling and laughing at times. I know this finally proves my depression is largly clinical and not jsut situational, but of course with all the hells i've lived through there will always be the situational issues and especially the hurt from my past, no matter how good a medication i get on. Still, it's helping me be less suicidal and not to cut. Getting this medication followed a series of extremely bad incidents, including a week-long ocd-overdrive period, an assault by a security guard at a hospital, and a few other things.

On the bright side, I safely (though there were a couple close calls) hitchhiked from Nova Scotia to Windsor, ontario to see my boyfreind who i normally only get to see online. That was back in october, it was a short visit, but something i'm glad I took the risk to do, it was good for both of us. We both have a lot of problems.....

Well, i'm a bit better in a few ways, but my problems are still here and still affecting me and I still need help, especially with saving up for surgery. It gets more expensive as the years go by, and my body gets older. Time slipping away as they say. yeah I'm still young, but I would like to be msyelf while I'm still young, you know> I want to be myself now, not jsut when I'm 50 or never in this life. I hope you'll help out, I still need help from anyone who can help me. no donation is too small. I'm sorry to sound so desperate, but i AM desperate. One reason I use a site to ask for help, is becuase I hate asking for help, asking for charity, I hate it, but i have to do it, so if i have to then I'm going to do it in a passive way, i'm not going to guilt you people and I don't think i even could ask straight to your faces. But if i don't ask in some form or way, how will you ever know I even need help?
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Februaty 11, 2005. With 3 donations, i'm reached just over $100. I need at least $9900 more, or, to have surgery domsetically, $13900 more. I hope you will help me

Email:

If the PayPal donation page doesn't work for you, you can still send to my paypal account by logging into yours and sending a donation to [email protected]

If you don't have paypal, don't like paypal, or want me to know who the donation is from and maybe get recognition, you can always email me and request my mailing address, though you'll only get the PO Box, for safety reasons (unless i know you)

Click HERE for those links I talked about....

Here is some stuff you might find mildly entertaining. feel free to steal it, it's all public domain stuff

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