Muse
...musing since January 18, 2004
Pretend
1.08.05
Why did I call?
Why did I want to talk to you?
To make myself feel better
More important, more needed
More something, less me
And I’m not paying attention.
I called you, and you’re talking
But I’m not paying attention
I’m pretending too, but I don’t really care what you say
One way or the other
Unless you make me laugh
About something you didn’t even mean to
Weird, odd, insane
That’s all they can use to define
The rampant thoughts twirling down from fire
Pouring out of tendrils of my mind
Extensions, lies, pain
It eats and eats and you are devoured
Not by me, but by yourself
And I’m not listening, not caring
And you’re just fine that way
Weird, odd, insane
They don’t need me, don’t care what I say
What I talk about, what I laugh about
I’m never as good as the last
As good as her, as good as him...
Just an imposter, living in their little world
But their fantasies don’t quite match up to mine
Because they live in real worlds shrouded by the nothingness
And I live in the nothingness, while they pretend I’m real.
<--- fall into my patterened tears... [return]
<---<--- catch me as i fall? [CS]