~ Ghost ~

Ghost
8.24.04

She sits in eager anticipation
She’s in front, I’m in back
I’ve watched her for three days, waiting
Deciphered her more than can be taken back

I want to be exactly like her
The warming smile, the bitter laugh
It’s a feeling well-suppressed that finds its way into me
Digging its roots inwards, until this soil of my soul breaks down and bleeds

The artificial sunlight of this beautiful, haunting place
It casts its glow, but she’ll never know
The patterns of herself- my fingers trace
The artificial sunlight of this twisted, dream-bred place
It seeps within, a web it spins
And in fragile memories- I suffocate

I want to be exactly like her
This ghost of what I can’t have
For feelings suppressed and life’s stark emptiness
The memories don’t wind back

She sits in eager anticipation
She’s in front, I’m in back
I watch her in silent waiting
But she’s merely a ghost
The memory of what won’t come back

And I don’t wan to be anything like her
I just want what I could never have
She doesn’t know, she’ll never know
She’s just a ghost amidst the facts.

<--- fall into my patterened tears... [return]
<---<--- catch me as i fall? [CS]