~ My Beautiful Illusions ~

My Beautiful Illusions
12.28.03

Selfish- I am selfish
I’d much rather keep this all for myself
Recognition is no longer on my list of the vital- the truth

If people saw- they would not love
They would not lie- they’d cut, they’d shove
But some cuts run too deep
And some things are too steep

Let me return to my seclusion
Oh, my beautiful selfish seclusion
It’s only an illusion
But it’s mine
One of my many beautiful illusions...
My beautiful illusions

I pray that this fades
Not hindered- not harmed
Will they not- can they not leave me to my fate?
My peace- the only way

If only time could unwind- return to what it once was
The valor, the splendor, the love
Yes- lies dwell just the same
But chivalry would remain
Still- that is too deep for those who are set on betrayal

Leave me to myself
Leave me to this imaginary bliss
It is all mine- for I have found it
Tell them to go away-
Yes, I hear them calling my name
But I do not wish to speak to them again!

The list has come to its end
I am not satisfied but the ink is trapped within
No longer will I let them betray me- or sway me
Blotted out- I cannot let my life be any longer such as it was

I simply wish for my seclusion
Oh, my beautiful selfish seclusion
It’s only an illusion
But it’s mine
One of my many beautiful illusions...
My beautiful illusions

Keep your shallow waters to yourself
I will not delve into the emptiness you have created
My beautiful illusions are waiting

And beyond it all
Throughout the darkness’ call
There is light bleeding through
Through the night I’ve been fed
The night that’s captive and painfully bred

Let the light bleed through
In its red-birthed rain
I fall into the arms
Of an illusion not wholly mine
Nay- not an illusion at all
But my soul’s one desire- my soul’s one Saviour
The one who catches me as I fall

No self-pity, as I wallow inside myself
I am not alone
All is well

<--- fall into my patterened tears... [return]
<---<--- catch me as i fall? [AA]